How to make my mum understand

[Piplette]

I'm at my wits end!!

My 60 year old mother isnt in the greatest health. She has severe arthritis and has had several respiratory issues in recent years including chest infections and a bout of pneumonia that put her in hospital a year ago.

Her husband is on medication for arthritis that suppresses his immune system.

My gran is 90 years old and my mum visits her regularly and her husbands mum is very ill and they occasionally help care for her.

On Wednesday she was planning to go into town for lunch with friends until we highlighted how ridiculous this was in current circumstances.

Today, on my daughters last day of school she messaged to invite us round for tea.

Again I raised my concerns about her not taking this seriously and advised we would not be seeing anyone outwith our household. In her response she stated she'd be visiting my gran next week for the last time in a while - this would be after she's spent time with her two super spreader grandchildren.🤦‍♂️

Shes desperate to keep seeing the grand kids but continually fails to recognise the seriousness of it all and I just can't trust her to act accordingly and keep herself safe.

How do I make her understand!!!

Also, just to clarify she will not be physically seeing her grandkids until things have blown over but we'll Skype etc - I wish for my own sanity there was another way but its too risky imo

Show her the videos from Bergamo of the military trucks transporting coffins.

Why do you think she isn’t taking this seriously - is she unaware of the risk? If so, perhaps send her some articles. Eg this shows how easily it spreads:

www.livescience.com/coronavirus-superspreader-south-korea-church.html

I’m sure you can find other articles that better explain the increased mortality rate for older age groups or vulnerable people too.

If actually she just doesn’t care, then perhaps ask your gran to refuse to socialise with her

This is quite good.

My brother said to my dad, 'the government don't care if you die. The government care that you would be taking up the bed of a healthy young person who could be useful to society. By getting ill you would be making someone else suffer and possibly die unnecessarily.'

To be fair my dad didn't really deserve that lecture. Hth.

Ive just had this same conversation with a friend who thinks its ridiculous they have closed all the cafes, restaurants etc - some people just don't seem to get it or are unable to make the switch from how they have always lived their lives. 12 weeks is a small ask for us to stay away from one another to protect as many people as we can.

They do know they just don't care and refuse to admit it.

Is she taking immunosuppressants for her arthritis? Does she have diabetes, asthma / bronchitis or cvd or high blood pressure? Is she immunocompromised? If not she probably isn’t high risk - handwashing / social distancing may be enough. If she wants to see the Gc and is otherwise healthy she could see them in the park etc. As for your gran as she’s 90 it’s very possible she has made the decision to keep seeing your mum because she could literally die of anything.

She's not on immunosuppressents just her husband.

She sees no issue going out and about as normal and only when others have called out her behaviour has she changed it. She just doesn't seem to care.

My gran would hate to not have visitors but rather than the family having an "it will be fine" attitude they need to openly accept that if people continue to visit her while socialising with others she could very well die.

Also just found out my cousins child has most likely got it - all symptoms and had indirect contact with another suspected case. Fat too close to home.

These stubborn people are putting everyone at risk. The damn govt need to put the country in lockdown and get the military to help police it.

Show her a scare video. She'll probably still ignore it.

There are loads of older people around like this. Both my parents, my MIL and most of my friends parents are the same. Still popping out everyday completely unnecessary.

Yesterday the only people I saw in town were over 65, bobbing around on public transport, sitting in cafes, in the barbers.

I really don't understand it

MIL (68, no health issues) is at a games night tonight as "It's fine. We see each other regularly." I despair