to think that our children seem to be carrying the can for all this so far?

[ChocolateCard]

It seems to me that from a social perspective, it’s our children who have, so far, given up the most in order to support the country through this crisis.

They have sacrificed their education; their friendships; their sports events; concerts, shows, and end of term celebrations.

The most vulnerable groups of adults will have had to make the difficult choice to self-isolate.

And meanwhile, our fit, healthy grown adult population continue to go to the gym or the pub.

@formerbabe, thank you! I’m stunned by how absolutely tone deaf the grown-ups are being here about the effect of the Coronavirus fall-out on their OWN children. It’s like it’s a race to the bottom. I grew up in the era of the Cold War or I’m worried about my job and mortgage (and my child is totally oblivious and thinks these payments are made via fairy dust even though we’re listening to the news or chatting about stuff while they’re around or lying in bed). I’m a massively anxious adult and my anxiety about money and well-being dates back to the three-day week in the 70s and my constant fear of running out of money. I was a toddler at the time.

This is devastating for children in a very different way from adults.

Most of us are shielding our children from the severity of this illness. We are telling them not to worry, that children don’t catch it but that they just wash their hands so they don’t pass it on to a grown-up who could become poorly. Well, that’s what every parent I’ve asked has said and it’s what we’re doing too.

Children don’t understand why they have to close schools for so long. There are milestones they will miss out on, budding friendships ended, important steps towards independence shattered. I’m talking about young ones really. I have a little one for whom starting nursery has been a very big step and who has gradually flourished and genuinely loves her teachers and her little friends. I am heartbroken for her that she cannot continue with this lovely happy life she has been building since September. That’s it’s over until next September - by which time she’ll be at a different school. She has no clue today was likely her last day with these people she has grown to love.

My older ones will miss out on the summer term and all the pleasures it brings, summer sports, prize-giving, concerts etc.

I would have been desolate at 16 if my GCSEs has been abandoned at this late stage. Some teens care very much about their exams and what they have been working towards. I don’t know any who will have thrown their books in the air this afternoon and headed to the park to smoke pot.

For adults it’s different. A lot of people are rather enjoying working from home. We are less reliant on running around to burn off energy. We are happy gawping at phones. We don’t really mind not going to pubs for a few months - do we??? Is anyone actually upset at the prospect of night clubs closing?

Yes. It is terrible for the self-employed. For now. But it will all return. The government is doing. What it can to protect wages.

It’s not a contest. But in my orbit, a lot of children are going to suffer greatly in the next few months. They have definitely made a huge sacrifice, they just didn’t do it willingly and they don’t really understand it yet.

I have shed a lot of tears today for my children.

My 9 year old seemed most put out at the idea that he has to do work at home with his 'But not every day? I can still have weekends off' - I think he now has plans to do all the work sent home in as few a days as possible - and as some of the 'work' is along the lines of 'do a kids yoga class on you tube' I think he'll be fine

The 16 year old was meant to be doing his GCSEs he's not bothered - the 18 year old has to submit her work online for college

Yes the have had some things cancelled but don't seem that upset at everything - I think, at least for the youngest, the biggest impact is me coming home from work (NHS) going 'bloody corona I wish they'd make up their minds on what the rules are and stick to them'

Whereas I called to the supermarket after work today (after the announcement was made about the pubs) and the amount of old men in there buying alcohol because 'the pubs shut tomorrow so I'll have the boys round for a drink' was unbelievable - and they all looked well over 70 - it was clear from the way they were talking that they weren't self isolating or socially distancing despite their age and thought it was stupid - yet they are at higher risk (I know it's not all older people - my dad is behaving and staying in - as well as age he's also got lung issues)

Spoketoosoon you in my opinion are way off, protect your children, they should have no / little concept of what is happening,depending on their age, , certainly not enough to shatter their sense of well being, it is your job to ensure this. Very few people are enjoying any sense of working from home on any pay and many more are wondering how to continue on nothing, most adults are now panicking on how to continue supporting their families, I am interested to know what industry you are in?

OP your post comes across like your kids are your only true concern. You're right they are getting a raw deal.
But there are peple on 0 hrs contracts who wont get paid, let me remind you 0 hrs contacts are generally associated to minimum/living wage jobs and social housing. Measures have been introduced for mortgage relief and private renters but as of yet not this sector. So for clarity, those fighting for survival on a daily basis. Not just this week, month or quarter whilst Covid-19 ravages our country, but alway!

In essence I agree, our youngsters are feeling it too but there's hardship out there that's real before Covid-19, God only knows how these people will get through.
We're all a pay cheque pay from disaster.
I've managed to come across a few bits and pieces to keep my family going this week, tonight I'm sharing those bits with my daughter, a nurse, who has not been able to get her weekly shop on the way home this week. Due to the empty shelves and a family I know on the breadline. At this point I should say, whilst my daughter nurses all of our loved ones this week she's worrying about her husbands job in retail and how they will meet their mortgage and bills if he loses his job next week which is looking likely.
I suppose my point is, yes, feel for our younger generation they're losing a lot but for most they will be wrapped in a blanket of love an reassurance and come out the other side relatively unscathed.

Missing out on a few special occasions is sad and there's nothing wrong with feeling sad about it, but it's not suffering and it's certainly not great suffering.

for most they will be wrapped in a blanket of love an reassurance and come out the other side relatively unscathed

Exactly.

I have a four year old who has just lost all contact with her friends with no warning. How many four year olds do you know with Skype accounts? I don't have contacts for their parents because it was a tiny nursery setting and due to odd pick up times I just never met many of them more than a handful of times. Children NEED socialization I am scared for my child. I am scared for my own mental health too. It won't just be the virus taking lives soon.

Too many people are underestimating the impact this will have on children, of course everything about this situation is tragic. I'm petrified of losing my job, I'm worried about vulnerable members of my family and how the NHS will cope but the difference is I am an adult and I can understand why this is necessary and I know the implications of what will happen otherwise. Children do not understand that - children have had their entire lives turned upside down in a matter of weeks, alot of them will see their parents worrying, they pick up so much of what goes on around them. We have a mental health crisis with children already that's about to get a whole lot worse and they'll get a whole lot less support. And as I say that's not to mention the adults who are struggling with their mental health who have already faced major changes in their treatment.

FFS, definitely not 'carrying the can.'

So far my DD has watch Netflix all day. She will begin her at home studies on Monday. She's safe, warm, WELL, HEALTHY and ALIVE.
She'll get fed up with being home but she'll have to suck it up.

Most kids are resilient and adapt wellthey will survive and, when this is over, can go back their normal lives. Many will notmany of whom are on the frontlines--those are the ones 'carrying the can.'

Children NEED socialization I am scared for my child. I am scared for my own mental health too.

Your child will be fine interacting with you for a while. Plus TV and games on a tablet will help.

You have Mumsnet for support. You are not alone.

Can I add a bit of perspective to this whole my poor baby doesn't get to have the end of year 11.
I missed out on my whole term from this time until exams for year 11 then had to do the exams and never got to say by to my friends and left.
Same happened in year 13.
It's called having a parent in the military so get over yourselves with my kid will be scarred from this. Never got a prom or to say goodbye to any of my school friends and I'm doing fine.
Yes I was upset at the time but it's hardly the end of the world.
Your kids will survive this as many others like me have done in the past.

You were upset at the time. Others are allowed to be upset now.

Just to add it's not just the over 70s who will be lonely. I live alone and am socially distancing due to being v high risk. Realistically I won't be speaking face to face with someone or having a hug or anything for probably 12 weeks. It's shit

@MLMsuperfan yes they are but they're acting as if it's the end of the world. It's not.

Too many people are underestimating the impact this will have on children

Children take their cues from us. It really is that simple.
Sitting around crying over it is ridiculously self indulgent, especially when you know the impact it will have on your children.
disclaimer
General 'you'

Of course children will carry the can for this. Not just those who have missed exams with teachers relying on mocks where they did badly and have since improved and therefore unfairly denied university places and the careers they hoped for. All children are going to grow up in a world of austerity. Public services are going to be much more restricted. Their education will have been interrupted for a term now but they will experience under investment, larger class sizes, fewer resources, etc through the rest of their schooling. Their pensions will be reduced as will be services offered by the health service. It is today’s children who are going to be paying for it and will do so for most of their working lives - as climate change also kicks in.

@Moominmammaatsea it sounds like you tried to have a pop at me but just agreed with what I said. EVERYONE is making sacrifices. I highlighted two sets of people who potentially it could be argued are making more sacrifices than children (who are very resilient) such as medics and old people.

But the OP seems to think their sacrifices pale into significance compared to darling children. Which I totally disagree with.

Kids know. My parents weren’t well off, growing up we didn’t have much, my mum batch cooked, stored milk in the freezer for ‘rainy days’ I started walking myself to and from school alone for as long as I can remember, my parents were working full time and couldn’t afford breakfast/after school clubs, so I walked by myself. I was thankful I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. But it stays with you, and you notice. I remember being in fear of my parents running out of money, I still worry about my parents running out of money! Except now I’m in fear of us running out too, and how the implications of that situation will affect our nearly 3 year old daughter, especially as we have another on the way.

My husband is different, his family never had money problems, he doesn’t understand the strain. He would still be shelling out however much to play football 3 times a week if it wasn’t cancelled. No we aren’t out of jobs yet, but we need to save hard now, to try to prevent this destroying us if we do. Unfortunately this couldn’t have happened at a worse time for us. We only bought our first house a year ago and in that year we also got married (used our savings instead of running up debt) and bought a new car (we had a 3 door and thought since we had a bit extra saved we could buy a 5 door in preparation for the second child) and I start maternity leave soon, which means a drop in income. I am terrified that our hard work saving to buy this house (even whilst private renting) will be lost in all this and we will be homeless with a toddler and a newborn. It’s a very real possibility.

So whilst I don’t think kids are the worst off in this scenario due to lack of school/socialising, I do think that they have a lot to lose, including their parents, grandparents and possibly their innocence, if their parents lose their jobs and they have to leave their homes, they will never get back that care free nature that we all want for our children.

Never got a prom or to say goodbye to any of my school friends and I'm doing fine

Well you sound quite lacking in empathy so I'm not sure about that.

Aesopfable but haven’t we all carried the can for austerity that followed from 2008 financial crisis. Now we and children will carry the can for this one. Think feel much more sorry for elderly living alone and parents who have lost jobs than children though who are not even at risk. Also we are lucky to live in rich country where gov can support people s wages to some extent.

Spoketoosoon you in my opinion are way off, protect your children, they should have no / little concept of what is happening

Children aren't stupid. They can see what's going on around them. They can see people wearing masks in the street, they can see empty shelves, they can't go to school...their clubs and activities have been cancelled...it's not like they won't notice.

Agree with everything Aesopfable said.
I keep trying to work out the QALY equivalent.
If 480,000 premature deaths are prevented in UK by the control measures.
Most of the saved have degraded life quality due to existing multi-morbidities and life limiting illness, so call it 30% of a fully QALY they had left for each of avg 3 yrs left of life under non cv19 conditions.
A QALY is currently priced around £32k/yr.
32k 480k .3 * 3 = 138.24 billion, I think.
If this coming super recessions costs > £138.24 bln in accumulated costs, then the taxpayers will have spent more than the NHS would have spent directly to save all those lives. If we get 12-24months of control measures, I reckon taxpayer cost will easily exceed £138.24 bln, stretched out over years, at least.

Happy to be told my maths are wrong.
I know it's not acceptable to let bodies pile up instead.
Such a mess.

@Moominmammaatsea Just take that huge rock off your shoulder! The majority of families are lucky enough to live in houses and have small gardens, so are not going to suffer excessively. I've also seen groups of kids out playing (that's down to their parents, mine aren't).

My issue (I'll say it again) is the OPs ridiculous dramatisation of her children's point on the whole thing.

We are all in it together. We are all going to suffer in various ways. It's not all about the OPs kids missing their friends, prom night, exams and so on. Little DS is going to miss his Leavers assembly (the highlight of his primary school). I'm heartbroken he will not see his friends again until he starts middle school, but I'll do what I can to keep him happy and I know it's a tiny sorrow in the middle of a shitshow.

Too many people are transferring their own anxieties onto their children. This is going to be one year in the lives of everyone, and for a child at the beginning of their lives, will be very minor.

but haven’t we all carried the can for austerity that followed from 2008 financial crisis

That level of austerity will be nothing compared to this if this continues.