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Covid

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Original poster

Coronavirus spread

14 replies

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 13:24

I am pregnant and due on the 24th (Tuesday next week), though baby can come anytime now. My partner is still going to work as a window cleaner, but isn't usually in contact with people on his job, so we kind of think he is at less risk. He insists I don't go out and stay home so I don't put myself at risk of infection. We have cancelled family who were planning to visit when baby arrives to try and avoid infection.

The thing is my partner has a 13 year old son who we have every weekend. As schools close today, my partner has been asking his son if he can pick him up tonight or tomorrow, but am wondering if his son needs to stay in insolation for even a week before he comes over to us. As it goes, kids haven't been reported to be at risk of catching the virus (unless I have missed something). Am just thinking about the baby due anytime now, please advise me because am a bit confused and don't want to stop my partner from seeing his son if he's not a risk at all.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Winterwoollies · 20/03/2020 13:41

This is when isolation becomes so difficult. Technically you shouldn’t have any visitors until they themselves have been isolating and symptom free for at least a week.

Your stepson will have been mixing with children who will have been mixing with all sorts of people.

Your H however is likely to want to exclude his son from his isolation rules, which basically renders them quite pointless. Can the boy stay with his mother for a week and then come to you? Will he isolate at his mum’s or will he be allowed out to play and mix with people like he’s on holiday?

It’s a difficult one but it’s worth talking to your H and pointing out he’s advising you isolate and yet wants to allow his kid (who are some of the biggest spreaders) straight into your space without a thought.

OlaEliza · 20/03/2020 13:50

I don't think you are being unreasonable. The point of the schools being shut is so that people can isolate. I.e. the boy shouldn't be going out and meeting up with friends. So, he should spend 7 days in isolation at his mother's before he comes to your house where there will be a newborn. Imo.

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 19:41

Winterwoollies thanks for your thoughts. I have had a word with him and just as I feared, he was arranging to pick my step son tomorrow morning. He just seems to think it's okay and there won't be any issues. That infection could have been last weekend or weekend before.......blah blah.

On that note, I said to him if we are taking risks, perhaps my family can visit too.......when baby arrives. But no, doesn't think that's a risk worth taking.

OP posts:

IceKitten · 20/03/2020 19:45

It's not correct that kids aren't at risk of catching it. They can still catch it and pass it on to you - it's just that they are less likely to have it severely themselves.

However I do agree with your partner that it's more important for his son to visit than for your family to meet the new baby. Sorry.

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 19:48

OlaEliza, thanks for replying. I did ask if the boy can isolate at his mum's for at least a week then come to us but apparently, he's okay to come over. Perhaps he's a risk worth taking, yet my family are a risk not worth taking.

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curlsnotfrizz · 20/03/2020 19:56

I thinks it's difficult to isolate children out. Lots of parents are at risk but they cannot just disown their children.

I get where you are coming from but I think yabu.

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 19:58

Icekitten, thanks for pointing that out. I hadn't said his son shouldn't visit at all. I suggested since kids have just broken off school, how abt his son stays with his mum and isolates for a week and then come over to which he doesn't think is necessary. Being pregnant and almost dropping.......any time, already worried cos he still goes out, then have to add another worry, yet a week isn't too much to wait. Am due on Tuesday next week, would also be nice to sort focus on the one that's almost here while my step son isolates, then he can come in time to see his little brother. Am not asking for too much surely...............

OP posts:

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 20:07

Curlznotfrizz, am not asking for my step son to keep away completely. We have him every weekend and I have never asked for him not to see his son. It's just a week, hardly being unreasonable. It's just a simple request. Baby is due on Tuesday, could be coming anytime before then or might be late. If I went into labour before due date, where do we leave my step son or does he tag along to the hospital? If he comes along, where then does he wait, I need my partner with me as he's my birthing partner..........anyway, will have to let it be and hope for the best.

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Stayawayfromitsmouth · 20/03/2020 20:15

Well it's not an unreasonable thought but your partner disagrees.
Think of it this way lots of pregnant women with children already do not have this choice .
These are the compromises you have to make when your partner has kids.
However I really do get your fears.
I was very perfect first born with mine. Second ds was equally precious but less fussed of.

curlsnotfrizz · 20/03/2020 20:27

Curlznotfrizz, am not asking for my step son to keep away completely.

but you want to keep him away for now. This is not how blended families work I am afraid. Agree with stay, these are just sacrifices you have to make in these kinds of setups.

If I went into labour before due date, where do we leave my step son or does he tag along to the hospital?

well, he is 13 and can stay a few hours at home and if not, then your DP has to look after him. It is pretty common/normal for dads to not be at the birth of their 2nd/3rd child because they look after the older children (my DH was only present at the birth of DC1 for this reason too).

You will be looked after by a midwife. I really don't see the issue... but I can forsee lots of issues in your blended family with this kind of attitude.

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 20:38

Curlsnotfrizz, asking for one thing isn't attitude at all........though thanks for taking time to reply. Yo thoughts are appreciated.

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OlaEliza · 20/03/2020 21:42

Personally, I think 13 is plenty old enough to understand about not putting a newborn baby at risk. So your DP should stop putting his wants above what a newborn needs.

Yes other ppl have older kids but this kid has somewhere else to stay while isolating, so who wouldn't want to take advantage of that? Plus there's the risk to the boy of germs brought back from the hospital. It makes sense for people to only be where they HAVE to.

Original poster

Bug8 · 20/03/2020 21:57

OlaEliza, I don't want to come across as a bad person as someone has already said I have got attitude. Am now even anxious of going into labour over the weekend or when we still have my step son with us. Just wonder where we can leave him or whether he can wait at hospital. Don't know the rules around that. I may end up going through labour on my own as my partner is my birthing partner. Anyway, am taking it easy and concentrating on staying calm. Thanks for yo message.

OP posts:

OlaEliza · 20/03/2020 22:33

I'd imagine the hospital won't want anyone other than those that have to be there, there.

I hope it all goes to plan and you/your baby don't catch it.

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