My family’s view of mental illness - what if society starts saying the same?

[cantbelievewhativeheard]

I have a life long mental illness . I’m typically very well managed with medication and regular therapy . Unfortunately, two weeks ago I made the decision with my psychiatrist to stop my medication .

I fell very, very quickly into crisis point and I’ve been having hallucinations I think (seeing people that aren’t here) self harming and very suicidal . I’ve not been able to access the usual help as it’s just not in existence (psychiatrist, community mental health team) .

GP managed to arrange me heavy doses of sedatives and has added in a sedating anti depressant to keep me ‘fuzzy’ for a couple of weeks . I think that’s where the hallucinations are coming from . I’m fully accepting that that is what is required just now to be safe . I’ve been told to just do 3 things a day - wash myself, eat and drink water .

I told a relative - who decided to tell others - who phoned me . Have had a dreadful lack of understanding from family and told horrible things including give my head a wobble, I’m wasting nhs time and to stop bothering them, no one has time for people ‘like that’, ‘it’s all in my head’ (well - yes, it is), I’m attention seeking and being very stupid . Told me to stop filling my head with unnecessary chemicals .

I’m not being stupid . I’m trying to at the moment keep myself alive and at home and in no danger . I need those ‘chemicals’ in order to do that . All my other support has gone .

But I’m scared that the rest of society are going to start saying the same - that they haven’t time for the unwell, and that I’ll be one of the first to go as I’m useless to society with a mental illness . If I catch the virus and end up sick will they look at me and say, that one’s a burden on us all, we’ll leave her to it . In a war they only need the strong people don’t they . I’m dreadfully frightened and wishing the things I’m seeing could stop .

Don’t listen to your family - I would cut them off entirely if I were you. MH issues are going to be taken more seriously during the pandemic with GPs and hospitals needing to be more proactive to keep people safe.

I think your family’s attitudes are in the minority.

Mental health issues are complex but you have been given an emergency protocol to follow so please continue following it. And the new protocol is hardly taking up much time from the health professionals.

I wouldn’t speak to your unsupportive family members anymore at all.

Have you been given phone numbers to ring for support in the absence of therapy? I do think you need someone to talk to regularly so I would try and get something set up for you.

I wish I could - I’ve had 35 phone calls today alone including some in the middle of the night .

I hope so - that they’ll help me stay safe - I’m scared they’ll just toss me aside as I cost a lot of money perhaps and need a lot of help .

So you’ve had 35 unsupportive calls from abusive family members? That is terrible. Can you block or just turn your phone on silent and ignore?

Honestly if youre staying home, following the protocol you’ve been given you are a very small ‘burden’.

I would reach out to get some supportive people to talk to. If your gp couldn’t get you some help like this could you just phone one of the more generic mental health help lines open to the public in the meantime?

Mix of that and concerned family - sibling has phoned fifteen times herself talking about chicken and not being able to get groceries and asking what I’m doing ... grandmother doing the same .

I’m trying the Samaritans at times and Breathing Space overnight . Left messages with charities that say they cover my illness but no answer from them yet .

OP, I work in an NHS mental health crisis team. You should contact your local crisis team (Google for the phone number). Most of them offer self referrals now, or ask your gp to refer you.

We are all at risk of mental health difficulties, it's nothing to be ashamed of and equally as valid a problem and physical health problems

Mental health difficulties don't go away because of coronavirus. In fact, we've seen lots of referrals recently and only likely to increase the more isolated people become and the more stretched the NHS is.

You deserve support. Seek it from professionals and ignore unhelpful family members.

I think your family members may simply be stressed about the pandemic and can’t deal with anything else just now, so they’re using denial as a coping mechanism.
If they convince themselves that there’s nothing wrong with you, then they don’t feel the need to do anything to help, or worry about your mental wellbeing.
I don’t think you should extrapolate that to the rest of society, OP! Psychiatric services are not involved in the pandemic unless a lot of their staff go off sick, so they are still treating patients. They’ve just been underfunded and also struggle to fill vacancies, so there can be a long wait for consultant treatment.

You would certainly not be abandoned or deemed worthless if you needed treatment for Corona virus - you would be assessed along with everyone else. Patients are only refused ITU care if we know they wouldn’t survive it, ie they are too frail with other comorbidities such as severe heart or lung disease.
I would avoid whichever family members are upsetting you, and just talk to good friends or your GP or CPN. I hope your medication soon makes you feel better and that you can be quickly re-established on your previous regime, which seemed to work well for you. God bless.

Oh OP I really hope that this is a knee jerk reaction from people that are anxious and struggling too. Not that it excuses their behaviour which is awful.
You matter
Its not your fault 💐
Please seek help from crisis team if you are struggling and seek support.
Ignore unhelpful comments, everyone is now at risk of poor mental health especially now, so be kind to yourself.
Please speak out how you feel dont be ashamed of your mental health difficulties which could stop you accessing immediate support.
Sending you strength.

I’m sorry that you’re related to morons. You’re not the one who’s head needs wobbling in this scenario. I hope you manage to pull through and please try to ignore what they say, normal people don’t think like that

OP, you’re having an incredibly tough time. Real sympathies to you: I hope you’re feeling better soon.

Your illness is as in need of, and deserving, of treatment as any other. You’re not wasting NHS time, you are as valuable as anyone else, and should be given treatment just like anyone else should.

PS-Personally I wouldn’t want to be intubated by a psychiatric nurse. The skill set needed is completely different.

Thank you so so much, I’ve been in tears all day worried I’d be left alone to die in agony . I’m hanging onto the hope that GP will speak to me on Monday, and understand - so far all I’m getting is just the receptionists and a poor 111 call handler the other night who took 30 minutes to get me to calm down enough to talk to her .

I’m sitting watching crap on TV and reminding myself that the scary things I’m seeing aren’t real, and praying that GP rings and psychiatric team remain in touch .

I’m not sure if we have a crisis team (scotland) but will look into that . I know local charity have one certainly so will try them too . Fingers crossed they can help me .

In the immediate term will keep trying with drinking water, eating what I can and breathing slowly . GP friend said this morning deal with one day at a time, don’t think of the next six months .

Medication is certainly making me sleepy, just wish the added stuff (the hallucinations) would go away - there were ninjas on my ceiling earlier and people on TV looking directly at me . I’ve only ever had that when on morphine or when very sleep deprived, so it’s very scary .

Where in Scotland are you OP? If you are in Edinburgh, there is a 24 hour open access crisis psych unit at the Royal Edinburgh Psych Hospital in Morningside. You don’t need a referral letter, you just turn up. The specialist nurses that staff it are very good. I’ve taken DD there when she’s had relapses.

Considering what you're struggling with I think you're doing incredibly well.

You were aiming to do just three basic things each day (washing yourself, drinking water and eating) and you've surpassed that. You've reached out for support, you've focused on your breathing, you've tried using TV as a distraction, and by the sounds of it you've done a fantastic job of reassuring yourself and being kind to yourself when you've been having these frightening hallucinations.

I don't want to invalidate how you're feeling, because I know it's still frightening and demoralising to be in this battle at all, but you are doing a really good job of taking care of yourself which is positive and something to hold onto.

You are not a burden, you are precious and valuable.

Well done for reaching out and trying to get treatment sorted. That’s really great!

I can’t deny I have shared your worry - it occurred to me that if I need medical help they’ll see the state of my arms (mostly old scars but some new from recent relapse) and assume I don’t want saving. People don’t understand self harm - if anything I do it to stay alive, not the other way round as many think. I’m grateful for the replies here on that topic.

It’s ok to be sad, scared, worried, angry, all the things. You are not your feelings. They will pass. 💕

@Babdoc I’m sorry your daughter struggles too . Haven’t been to Edinburgh I’m years and years ... I’m closer to Aberdeen unfortunately - and now completely without transport to get there . There is a psychiatric unit in Aberdeen (Royal Cornhill) but it doesn’t take walk ins . I don’t know if they’re keeping it open or just discharging everyone . As well as that I don’t drive, have always relied on buses or taxis which isn’t safe now. Hallucinations have calmed down and whilst I still feel very strange - my mind keeps saying to me that I must be having some sort of psychotic episode, none of this is really happening - I have slept, I’ve eaten about 800 calories and exercised in the garden . I’m trying to eat as minimum as I can - a) I’m not at all hungry anymore and b) right now there seems no guarantee that we’ll get any food in the coming weeks ... so thought better to save what I can .

Hanging onto the fact that GP and CPN said they’d both phone on Monday . Will be so so relieved when they do .

I’ve also found a phone number for what we seem to use for crisis response up here so will ring them first thing .

Thank you 💕 ... going to try and settle back to sleep for a few hours

I think, as others on here have said, it's more that the current situation means that many people are currently not their best versions of themselves. People are stressed and short-tempered and therefore sometimes thoughtless.

A question though, if you don't mind: would you not be better going back onto the medication for now? However much coming off medication is a valid long term goal - maybe you'd be better off waiting until society is calmer and health services are less overloaded?

I am, I was restarted on it as soon as GP could get go ahead from psychiatrist . They had a couple of days delay as I have had major problems with anti depressants before - I go into acute urine retention that generally needs hospital care, so they were checking with consultants what was safest to do, given that even if I do go into retention I probably won’t be able to access care for that - they’ve taught me how to insert a catheter and given instructions over the phone for what to do to manage acute retention if it becomes a sudden problem overnight .