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Original poster

My son is crushed. Just crushed.....

366 replies

yomellamoHelly · 19/03/2020 08:50

Year 11. Spanish oral exam on 1st April. Drama performance within next month. Art coursework still to finish off. Written exams as per schedule.
It's all hit him as he looked at his Class Charts this morning and all the work that's due / been set. It's all revision / prepping for upcoming assessments. The enormity of the change has hit him.
I know something will be sorted out eventually, but so so sad for him. He's upstairs sobbing.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 19/03/2020 11:37

The expression of emotion and the experience of feeling fear and upset and sadness is vital for growth and development and yes it’s a bloody scary time and it’s okay to cry- whether you’re a 5 year old, or 15 or 25 or 55... it’s okay. This is a scary time and no one knows what is going to happen. But one of the huge myths exploded in adulthood is that no one EVER really knows what is going to happen- we all make plans based on normality and assumptions. And at some point in our lives something shit happens- a death, an accident, an illness etc and our realisation dawns that life doesn’t come with guarantees. Sadly this pandemic is making many of us reminded or aware of this all at once.
Just speak to your teens and let them express whatever they feel- don’t allow them to catastrophise though but don’t belittle them either. Just welcome them to adulthood... where sadly we look around for the people responsible who will fix it all for us- and realise that’s us now and those people don’t really exist and never did.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 19/03/2020 11:38

That's true @DogInATent .
Thank You . Made me fret a little less Flowers

Nearlyalmost50 · 19/03/2020 11:38

My dd is happy not to be taking GCSE's but even she is reflecting on what a momentous change this is- she won't ever wear her school uniform again, or see some of the wider friendship groups again, as they are going to different sixth forms. It's not that she can't cope, it's that it is natural to be sad and reflective about such a huge life change especially when it wasn't predictable even a couple of weeks ago. I don't think everyone should be adjusting immediately to that, I had a tiny tear in my eye about schools shutting last night, because it told me, more than any other measure taken yet, that we truly are in the shit.

Mrhodgeymaheg · 19/03/2020 11:39

I don't have DC in this situation, but was a mature student 8 years ago or so. I worked so bloody hard and did do really well (even fought off the flu in my final year). I would be devastated if it was postponed. I really feel for your son.

Greygoose69 · 19/03/2020 11:40

Predicted grades scoring is the only feasible solution. However, exam markers have always been a faceless body removed from the person who has sat the exam on every level. Obviously not the case with a teacher who has known the pupil for a number of years. One would expect those kids they have a good relationship with to be graded more favorably, and perhaps those with whom they have had issues with the opposite. I suspect that grades will generally be more generous, but those kids who come out with clean sweeps of A*'s will always be looked at with some scepticism as they weren't actually formally assessed.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/03/2020 11:41

My ds 16 was crying today (last day today for him, I wanted him to stay off but he insisted he wants a last hug with his mates) - god, I’m crying now!

He never cries. It’s all scary and uncertain, but we have our health (fingers crossed), we have food and a roof over our heads and we have each other. We’re incredibly lucky.

FrancisCrawford · 19/03/2020 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 19/03/2020 11:45

when exceedingly clever Rufus only got his predicted grade 5

What...what have i done

Percypopper · 19/03/2020 11:52

I’d have been bloody chuffed if my speaking exam had been cancelled! Lucky thing

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/03/2020 11:53

Tell him to get a grip. It'd just gcses, it's not all about him. People are dying

God, some people on here are not only insensitive but incredibly thick.

Rubyroost · 19/03/2020 11:57

Sorry forgot GCSEs are more important than the fact that soon the NHS will be on its knees and they'll be no ventilators and the death rate will rise. Still we should have kept the kids at school so they could get their gcses. They'll get them, they'll have grades. End of!

Xenia · 19/03/2020 11:57

Good point re Scotland having different exams although won't certain Scottish boarding schools do English exams and some schools the IB etc? Gordonstoun does A levels and GCSEs - gordonstoun.org.uk/senior-academic-curriculum
I suppose they will be in the same position as all the international students in foreign countries who will be sitting English GCSEs and A levels and will be allowed to sit them?

sHREDDIES19 · 19/03/2020 11:58

I do take on board how significant this must be for your son and others in the same boat but I really believe that some good will come of this crazy situation; a sense of resilience, overcoming hurdles, appreciating the simpler things in life, being given the time to take stock of our (usually) fast paced lives etc.

Wearywithteens · 19/03/2020 11:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Greenmarmalade · 19/03/2020 12:01

Sorry haven’t rtft but teachers will be giving fair grades based on continuous assessment, which is far better than an exam in many ways. We know our students and will be giving grades based on what they’d get in the best possible circumstances, so I’m sure it’ll work out fine.

Greenmarmalade · 19/03/2020 12:02

Having said that, I do sympathise with how upset lots of children will feel right now.

christmaskit · 19/03/2020 12:02

I have DD who should have been sitting GCSEs. She's disappointed that she won't have a chance of improving her target grades. She's worked so hard. But she will be ok and will still get to go to the 6th form she really wants.
DS should be sitting his A levels. He has an offer from Cambridge, (medicine). He has worked so hard to get that: volunteering, D of E, extra curricular activities, extra testing and assessments. The uncertainty at the moment is upsetting for him. But he'll be ok.
They are allowed to feel emotional, this is THEIR big stuff. Even though much worse is happening.
All this is on top of the fact that they might not see their grandparents or some close family members ever again.

wheretonow123 · 19/03/2020 12:04

Orals in Ireland have been cancelled this morning and all students are getting 100%. Not a perfect solution but the students have not had a chance to prepare properly.

You can say to your son that there may well be something like s happen and, if not, there are many others in the same boat and allowances should be made.

Just say to him to plan to get something submitted on each of these - even if it not to his best standard - chances are that they will be marked leniently.

yabadabadontdoit · 19/03/2020 12:07

I saw my dd smile properly, without sad eyes, for the first time in nearly two years last night, and today I have back my ‘old’ dd, before her extreme anxiety took hold.
It’s made me realise just how GCSES have taken over their whole lives for so long, and how damaging that can be for some dc. She has worked incredibly hard, and consistently got good grades, had no reason to worry about passing, but the constant pressure on her was breaking her,even with counselling and camhs involvement. Up to yr 10 she had no obvious mental health problems.
If anything comes out of this I hope it’s a widespread realisation that actually GCSES are just a stepping stone to the next level, and maybe continuous assessment needs to come back into this rather than big exams.
For those in yr 11 parents need to help them put this into perspective, yes they’ve put everything into this, but that should show in the teacher assessments, and it is just a stepping stone to A levels, apprenticeship etc and will not change their options. For yr 13 I think it’s a lot harder on them but again, there will have to be a fair way of assigning their grades, and the whole year group is in the same position.

TooMuchBloodyChoice · 19/03/2020 12:07

@Bringringbring12 We had been working with the school to continue his education (he’s already been off for a couple of weeks with said infection).

We were hoping that he’d be able to do them 1-2-1 with an invigilator and separate exit/entrances in his large school. He already has 1-2-1 due to SEN so not much more to accommodate.

We are obviously more worried about his health at the moment - which is a sobering thought at 15.

Scruffyoak · 19/03/2020 12:08

My son just feels like he has no direction atm it just feels like oh schools finished now bye. He can't revise for exams he wont do and is planning barbering at college.

chickedeee · 19/03/2020 12:08

I understand why your child is upset it is a normal reaction as this is his world.

Have some empathy people! Wink

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/03/2020 12:12

People on here need to understand this:

I am scared about catching the virus
I am scared for the people who have already caught it/are going to catch it
I am scared for vulnerable old/people
I am scared for my dsis who is a nhs nurse
I am scared for people losing their jobs
I am scared for my friend who is a single mum in a flat with her dc’s
I am scared for people who own businesses that are going to fold And the repercussions for the economy

I am also worried and upset for what the schools now ending and exams being cancelled means for my sons future and for the difficult months we have ahead of being isolated from friends/social gathering - even going outside bar the garden.

These things are not mutually exclusive - you can be scared and worried about lots of different things at once.
I will be doing my best of course to make my dc’s realise how lucky they are. Saying you are upset about the cancelling of exams and schools closing doesn’t mean you are running around like a headless chicken and having histrionics. Of course there are worse things to happen - but we are not robots with no feelings.

beachysandy81 · 19/03/2020 12:14

My son very sad as he has really been working hard and will miss his friends. However, it is what it is and we just have to get one with it and be as positive as possible. Life is going to be strange for a long time. If this is the worst thing that does happen we will be lucky, others are not going to be so fortunate.

MintyMabel · 19/03/2020 12:18

I wonder if there is a way to bus children to Scotland to sit GCSEs

Sure, what better way to stop the spread, bus thousand of children to Scotland.

At the moment it is under review, but the logistics of doing so means opening a larger number of exam centres, a much higher number of invigilators, it will be difficult enough to do for our own students.