My son is crushed. Just crushed.....

[yomellamoHelly]

Year 11. Spanish oral exam on 1st April. Drama performance within next month. Art coursework still to finish off. Written exams as per schedule.
It's all hit him as he looked at his Class Charts this morning and all the work that's due / been set. It's all revision / prepping for upcoming assessments. The enormity of the change has hit him.
I know something will be sorted out eventually, but so so sad for him. He's upstairs sobbing.

I have one doing GCSEs who isn't too fazed, but the one doing A Levels is more upset, feels like the rug has been pulled out from under him. He has been revising hard for the exams and is worried that his mock grades might just not get him into the university he wanted. One of his teachers was adamant that he wouldn't move up one grade at parent's evening too, so I can't see any generosity there either.

Yes, it is not the end of the world, and he will move on one way or another, but it is the abruptness and uncertainty that he finds harder to deal with. I'm in a high risk group, but can still understand where he is coming from.

Thank you @noblegiraffe and others for recognising the impact of this on our hardworking young people

@JKScot4 - Y11 is 15/16 year olds, doing their first set of formal qualifications to enable further study.

I have a DD taking 2 GCSEs early, think the idea of going by predicted grades is probably the way it will go. If it had been predicted for me back in the day, based on my mocks my grades would have been shocking. I pulled it out of the bag at the last minute and that’s the way for a lot of people.
I feel for the children with school closures, it is going to have a massive impact on them all, putting aside the education which is only one factor in their school lives

noblegiraffe, you have it spot on. None of us wants anything bad to happen to anyone. I think despite knowing through my work this is a terrrible situation we are in this announcement hit me hard. I have cried a lot recently, so not really surprising I cried about this. I totally agree our kids will be fine, I think like everyone we are sh*t scared for the people of this country.

I have one doing GCSE's. Had appalling mocks in December but a large improvement in his recent mocks from two weeks ago. I don't know which mocks they will go off.

He is also has a chronic condition, which puts him at high risk, and is currently battling a nasty infection which is usually hospital treated but is currently at home being treated by me on a 12 week lockdown, and unable to see his friends. If he catches Covid-19 with the current state of his health it would be potentially fatal.

We are trying to remain positive. But for him it feels enormous. 12 weeks is a long time when everything is up in the air and you can't even get together with your friends.

DS was raging when he heard the news. He wanted to go stomping off to Downing Street (he was at Parliament when he got the news) and... well I’m not sure what he was planning.

I’m a university lecturer and I know that we are going to do all we can to make sure that students can still start uni in September/October even if there is no opportunity to do exams. As we are likely to have few(if any) students from overseas there may be more places available.

I feel for all the kids though what an awful way to leave school with so much anxiety and worry.

Very miserable to have school life ended so abruptly

But infinitely preferable to increasing the number of people dying 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I think we have to be mindful that teenagers sobbing about their exams aren't just sobbing about that.

One of my DDs was incosolable last night because she wanted to go to school. In reality she hates schools in the way many teens do - hates the uniform, hates the strictness and things adults are mean. However, she has health condition that means this whole thing is scary.

She doesn't actually want to go to school, do her classes and sit exams. She wants normality back - school, whinging about school, nearly missing the bus, bickering with her sister, getting on with some teachers better than others and not seeing that for the life lesson it is because adults don't understand her. That's what she was actually crying about.

Adults cry about redundancy, relationships ending, changing jobs and the likes and one of the big reasons that we cry is because nobody likes uncertainty. Kids have lost their certainty and they are entitled to be shit scared and upset. Especially because as adults our job is normally to say "I know you are scared, but it'll be find as this is what is going to happen..." and we can't because we don't know, and we are scared, ourselves.

@TooMuchBloodyChoice

Would he have been able to take them anyway if on 12 week lockdown?

FFS this is not a race to the bottom, surely people can have some compassion when others are affected?

Sure, they're not dying, but cant you see that for these children who were about to move on to a more adult life, nothing is certain now. My dc are in the oh well it happens camp, but they are slowly realising that things are massively different now, they are saying good bye to friends not knowing if/when they will see them again

We were sent home this week, and i looked around my office and literally thought, shit, i might not see some of you lot again, thats fucking terrifying - nothing has changed for me personally, does that mean i am not allowed to be upset??

I am a tough as old boots person, nothing really gets to me, i get grumpy first, but i actually did break down this morning (was sitting alone and it all just hit me) but i wont break down in front of anyone, we are all keeping it together - just!

She wants normality back - school, whinging about school, nearly missing the bus, bickering with her sister, getting on with some teachers better than others and not seeing that for the life lesson it is because adults don't understand her. That's what she was actually crying about.

yup - spot on

Have parents here started popping hallucinogenics?
I fell apart last night personally at the school closure announcement (even though knew it was coming) - it was the combination of how wonderful our little infant school is and the idea that we're going to be moving on from it without possibly even getting to really say goodbye
You do know ppl are losing family members? facing extreme poverty?
And here we have parents and teenagers sobbing over exams and missing their little school.
Completely wrapped up in their own bubble 🙄

How self-righteous!
I cried when my children left their infants' school in normal circumstances. There are rites of passage which we all recognise are important enough to mark - from birth to death and everything in between. You are allowed to feel sad that your child's moving on will go unheralded, whilst also recognising that it isn't the end of the world. Human beings are capable of feeling all sorts of complex emotions!

It's all such a stressful time for our young people and there's no certainty yet. My DS is in his final degree year. This is his 2nd attempt at a degree after dropping out of the 1st degree he chose at the end of the 1st year and switching to a completely different subject. Now it's unlikely he can complete his planned dissertation and is frantically putting a new plan together for a different one - to be in by May 1st. Partly his own fault as he should have organised himself better but he has ASD and organisation is not his strong point - although he usually makes deadlines - just. He is 4 hours from home so little we can do to support him practically. His subject related volunteering has also been cancelled. No info on what happens with final exams yet. His Uni only stopped lectures on Tuesday although mercifully the library is still open ftb. And of course no graduation ceremony to look forward to in the Summer - although they may just postpone that.

More chocolate and gin needed for everyone - although i fear the shelves will be bereft.

Having a cry is not hysteria and does not mean we are not aware of what is going on. Emotion is normal and we are human. Thank you to the teachers here that care and thank you for the compassion.

Letter or numbers now will mean nothing if they're carved into a headstone.

No nice meals out to celebrate results with granny and grandpa because there's a real risk they won't be there to looked chuffed at their grandchildren's achievements.

Stark reality at the moment.

Just be happy that you're still breathing and haven't lost anyone you love.

Of course we understand but that does not take away the fact we are humans with complex emotions and the children are allowed to be upset and angry over it.

This thread just demonstrates how completely over the top the whole exam culture seems to be in the UK - if kids (and parents) are falling apart because they can't sit exams, maybe that is something to worry about more a complete lack of perspective - who is encouraging this culture? Jeez!

No nice meals out to celebrate results with granny and grandpa because there's a real risk they won't be there to looked chuffed at their grandchildren's achievements.

And the fear of that is part of the reason the kids are crying

It's not just about school and selfishness. It's fear.

But infinitely preferable to increasing the number of people dying 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh come on. We’re allowed to feel sad about shit things happening, even though we know other people are going through shitter things. Have you never moaned about anything? Anything at all? Because if you have, don’t you know people are dying all the time?

My children are young. I’m still upset for my 6 and 4 year olds, even though they are amongst the people the least affected by all this. They’ll miss their friends, their teachers, their school. Their dance show that they’ve been working towards for months has been cancelled. The trip to see their grandparents abroad that they’ve been counting down to has been cancelled (they haven’t seen them for over a year). The parties they’ve been looking forward to are cancelled.
Yes we know it’s necessary. We know it’s to save lives. We know people are going through much worse. It’s still ok to feel sad.

what @Lincolnfield said.

for many teens/DC, this will be their first experience of a real crisis - not on a par with losing their phone. My DC are in college / Uni - one about to graduate with little chance of getting a job now (hospitality). Both have been let go from their evening/weekend jobs. BIL has lost his job at the airport. Friend's neighbour has died of Covid-19 (only 64 years of age and no underlying health issues).

This crisis is not going away any time soon. What parents need to do is help their DC develop resilience - how we respond will be crucial in their development into adults. Globalisation means that viruses like this will be something we need to learn to live with for eternity. Sobbing and trying to put in wacky solutions will not help your DC.

@Xenia

No decision has been made on Scottish exams!

I’m more upset for the vulnerable children, the ones who see school as their safe place, the place they have teachers and friends to talk to, the place where they get their only hot meal of the day. The place they can escape their abnormal home life.

What’s going to happen to these children?

Dd is upset at missing out on her exams after all the hard work she has put in this year but we have to believe that the SQA make the right decisions for our children,

Absolutely devastated daughter yesterday.
It was so sad this morning watching her look at all her revision and exam timetables on her bedroom wall. She’s been working so hard.

She took one of her school shirts to school today to start getting friends to sign it as tomorrow is likely to be her last day in year 11 and last time seeing her fines for a while.

@copperheart - of course (some of) the kids are upset. They have worked for these exams - some have 6th form places and university courses riding on them. What they thought was certain is a bit flakey now (and a lot of these kids will have family members and friends that they are worried about too). It’s not just the exams but (in London anyway) a chunk of the underground shutting down, stores empty (and I mean they look like they even been looted), being cooped up in a flat with your bloody parents, etc.

DS seems to be enjoying virtual classes now (especially since one of his teachers has been confirmed as infected).