Anyone considering moving in with their parents?

[Joywillcomeagain]

Just to clarify - I'm not a Londoner looking to move outside the capital to avoid lockdown.

I'm in a village in the north I live about a five minute walk from my parents who are mom 66 and dad 71. My sister 36 already lives with them.
I'm a single mum with one child my daughter is 2. I work from home 3 days a week and my mom watches my dd.
My parents love seeing her and looking after her and in normal circumstances we spend several hours at their house every day.

When we go into lockdown I feel like it would be better for all of us if I was at my parents house rather than struggling alone at home with a 2 year old trying to work. They would miss dd terribly and I know I'd miss them and their company and help. They have a spare room and enough space for us to stay with them we lived with them when I first left my husband.

But then I keep thinking it's a selfish plan to even suggest it as they are older. Would we be putting them more at risk? I feel like if no one is going out then it won't make a difference risk wise if we're with them or at my house. It might be better as we could help care for each other if we get ill.
Is anyone else considering doing something similar?

I'm considering it but only if we knew we'd had CV and were no longer a risk, so it's a longer term plan. I'm hoping we can wave at them through their back gate at some point and have suggested they do some virtual chats/schooling with dd. If they caught it from us it'd be so awful that I can't take the risk

I have a similar dilemma, we've decided to wait though until we've been in self-isolation for long enough that we'd be showing symptoms if infected/ no longer infectious if we've had it unknowingly. So at least 7 days, maybe 14.

I really want to be there but can't put them at increased risk, and it does go both ways in that if they were to pass it to us, we could be seriously unwell even though we're low risk. All that said it also depends on what the guidelines and restrictions are over the next few weeks. I do think you have to hold off for now though, I know it's tough.

I am wondering this but if I do this I will self isolate me and the children first for 2 weeks to make absolutely sure we are not infected.

I'm not as not in similar circs but I think it sounds like a great idea if you are all planning to isolate. To be extra safe your household and theirs could do the first two weeks separately and then if everyone is well move in.

In your situation I definitely would, self isolating at home for 7-14 days first.

I’m an NHS worker, about to go back after maternity leave not sure if I’ll be redeployed to something essential in which case my DP won’t be able to work and he is by far the higher earner. My wages don’t leave much after nursery fees.

If we didn’t have a 9 month old breastfed baby as well as our 3 year old I would seriously be suggesting he moves in with his parents for a month so he can work from home. I think a lot of families will be forced to separate to stay afloat financially. We also have no garden so a lockdown (in London) would be horrible.

Can I ask if you do move in would you still go out to get essential supplies, there are no delivery’s where my parents are so I’ll be doing drop offs anyway. I thought I could isolate myself and the kids for 14 day then move with them but go out once a week masked and gloves up to fetch supplies. I can wfh

Thanks for the replies guys. I was a bit worried everyone would tell me I'm selfish for wanting to be with older relatives. I mean it is to benefit me so it is selfish but I think they'd prefer it to not seeing dd for months.

Good idea re. Isolation first. I worry once it starts you won't be able to move location but hopefully you would. It's a one minute drive so I'd probably get away with it.

I really want to go home and pack suitcases so we can be ready to go at a moments notice. That's going down the bonkers route isn't it?

Even in a look down situation people will still need to go to the shops and the pharmacist. So you would be able to drive to your parents on that premise.

I am sure you would be able to move one minute away. Even under lockdown people can go out for essentials. Just make sure you and your household are really strict with the 2 week isolation first and don't go out during this period.

I thought about it, but it makes more sense for me to go out for supplies and drop them at their door (they live on the way back from town), I'd be potentially infected then so for safety we won't be.

No as my mum lives alone in a one bed house and has no room, but I’m considering asking her to move in with us as otherwise she’ll be on her own.
However we’re currently on 14 day isolation and she’s an NHS worker so she would be more risk to us than the other way round (she’d still be working at the GP surgery whereas I’m a SAHM and DH works from home), so I’m not sure if it would be wise...

Yes think we will be now schools are shut. Already mixed with parents and they have our children 2 days a week, so any spread between us would be already done. Note parents not in high risk group, under 70 no underlying health conditions.

Sounds like a great idea to me .

No, I wouldn't. Fine if you could really then avoid all contact with the outside world but you can't - shopping etc. So if you're unlucky enough to pick the virus up from the supermarket you then just pass it to everyone else in the household.

I go back and forth

I might end up renting near them so can help them if needed but need to decide before lock down! I'm also worried they will die anyway and if I'm far away i can't even wave at them through the window.

If I had no kids I would love for sure

OP I normally live a tiny flat in a rough bit of town

So on Tuesday - having lost a lot of work! - I went to mum’s, she at least has a house and garden.

She’s 81 but she was keen because she’s been lonely since dad died. She doesn’t go out much and doesn’t care if she gets it, but she’s less exposed now than if I was going back and forth for months. There was no way she’d have found it okay for us not to see each other.

“ I'm also worried they will die anyway and if I'm far away i can't even wave at them through the window.”

Yes, if mum died and I hadn’t seen her because of this, she’d have come back to haunt me.

We're moving in with PILs once we are done with self isolation (unless we're in a lockdown by then and can't leave, or if they get ill). Once we're there, only one person will go shopping so total number of people out and about will be reduced, plus PIL have a standing weekly Ocado delivery so we'll be able to stay in for much longer without needing to go the shop. PIL are both under 60 with no health conditions.

This is interesting and good to know I'm not the only one. Thanks everyone. Now I have to think about how to manage for dd to have safe contact with my ex. He's in London virus central not sure what to do about it.

Omg it happened. I feel like I should be loading the car right now. My dd is fast asleep though. I hope I really can get moved tomorrow. I'm a bit scared.