Newborn baby and visitors- can anyone offer advice here? Feeling very low.

[newmumagainn]

I gave birth on Thursday to my DS2, he is a little baby, weighing 4lb 8oz.
I also have DS2 who is 2 and a half.

I'm on maternity leave, and DH on paternity leave until Monday when he will be WFH.

DS1 was looked after by my mum for four days a week whilst I worked until last week. He's really missing her already, as am I, as used to seeing her every day.

It feels like such a strange time to have a newborn, my mum and me are so close, and she's only 15 minute drive away but I haven't let her or my dad come and see the baby (she was there at the birth, so has met him). It feels so unnatural to be experiencing this without her, I'm sure it's hormones playing a role too, plus the unknown of how long it will all last, but I'm feeling really very down and sad about it all.

They live with my brother who works in a touristy job. He is still at work, but we believe his job is closing next week. Mum and dad have been self isolating, they are 65, generally fit, although my mum has asthma and has had a cough for years that comes and goes, sometimes she gets chest infections and needs steroids and an inhaler to clear the cough.

Am I doing the right thing by keeping them away? DS is so so small, there's hardly any information about effects on a newborn if they catch it.

I don't know what to do for the best. It's in the back of my mind all the time- if I don't let them come over soon, what if the self isolation rules change to over 65s like in some European countries? Or what if lockdown gets super strict? Or what if mum or dad do catch it, and don't get better, and then they've never really had the chance to need DS.

Bump

Anyone?

Congratulations, OP!

It is a strange time to have a newborn. I'm sorry. Can you skype?

I did get some info from the RCN/Midwives lot regarding newborns, I can have a look at that if you like - as far as I recall the advice was to wear a mask while feeding the baby and wash hands thoroughly - I'm guessing you'll have had this kind of thing passed on to you?

What about writing letters, making cards, too? We're not visiting parents right now so coming up with other ways to stay in touch. I know it's hard. Sending you and best wishes.

Hi yes i would keep everyone away, i have a 5month old & children now with the schools off we wont see anyone.
Your doing the right thing ,i know its hard but we have to keep safe.

I don't have a newborn, but can understand how you are feeling.

I am pregnant and have a toddler and I am meant to be self isolating, but following the guidelines means he won't see his grandparents for twelve weeks and we normally see them regularly throughout the week. It's very lonely, but you are not alone in this xx

Sorry I'm meant to be socially distancing not self isolating.... All these new phrases to learn!

OP those early weeks and months of having a newborn are enough of a rollercoaster without factoring in all of the current climate.

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing. You are following government advice and preventing the spread. I know it must go against every gut feeling you have but I would be doing the same.

Go easy on yourself because these are tough and uncertain times without the added hormones and stress of caring for a toddler and newborn.

As a PP said, try to FaceTime/Skype/what’s app video call as much as you can.

Take each day at a time.

Congratulations

What if my parents stay in for the next two weeks, and we stay in for two weeks, then we know nobody has symptoms?

I've been okay for the last few days but can't stop crying today. My DH is asking what I'm worried about specifically and I can't put my
Finger on it, just feel so sad and worried.

I am due any day now and will be taking the baby to see my parents when it is born (as well as my 3yo).
We have been social distancing - DH takes 3yo for a run once a day - and so have my parents. They are only in their late 50s so not as high risk. I figure the risk of it passing between us is low and I'm prepared to take that risk.

I've been in tears all day! 39 weeks pregnant nurseries closing which means be struggling with a toddler on my own heavily pregnant as partner still working! Meant to be having my sister as a birthing partner as well as my DH, worried if go on lockdown will it mean mum and sister can't come help me whilst partner at work?? So overwhelming I know obviously health is what's important but the thought of being home alone day in day out struggling after giving birth is depressing!! Hormones hey!! Xx

Congratulations op 💐

I think your idea about 2 weeks is good. You'll need to do something about your brother though.

Facetime, send photos and talk on the igor all the time. It's a shitty time and I really feel for you x

OP I feel for you so much. I have a dd 20 months who is used to seeing her grandparents daily (they live with us, over 70 and have cancer), soon as we have finished the extra kitchen and bathroom in the coming week or two we will be isolating from them too. I am also 28 weeks pregnant.

I and she adore my parents. Not being the usual unit we are/were is so daunting.

Safest for everyone as DH still currently works, so I do believe you're making the right choice. But jesus I know just how painful it is.

I wish you and your family all the best and congratulations on your little one.

You're at day 6 after birth, it's absolutely normal and natural to feel generally low and not know exactly what you're upset about.

I think the 2 week plan is doable as well, but I wouldn't be having regular visits. Just once or twice so that they've been able to do it and it puts your mind at rest WRT the "what ifs". And then lots and lots of phone contact and video calls as much as you can.

Oh, OP. I was like that with a newborn without the blooming apocalypse happening outside! Have a good cry, it helps release tension.

If you isolate for two weeks and they do too ... it's possible. It's an estimated incubation of 14 days.