Friend's wedding mid-April

[UnicornAndSparkles]

AIBU to want to retract my acceptance to a friend's wedding in mid April? She hasn't said a word about cancelling it due to coronavirus despite having invited 150 people, and it's less than a month away. She's probably having a nightmare just thinking about it, as she's obviously spent huge amounts of time and money on it, which I totally sympathise with. Its adult-only; my parents had offered to babysit my toddler, but I wouldn't feel comfortable for them to do that now as they are 70 and high-risk. I dont feel I can broach it with her as she's probably under so much stress with it all, but equally I don't feel comfortable going given the current situation.

I wouldn't go. We have all been told to distance ourselves socially. In another few days to a week I think we'll be locked down and she will have to cancel anyway. Leave it a few days for now and see what happens. We all have to be socially responsible with this and people will be hurt and upset but it's out of our control. There'll be lots of weddings cancelled but then rebooked once all this is over I expect. Take care of you and your family, that's the most important thing.

I imagine it will be cancelled. Wait it out a bit longer.

Totally understand but can you give her a few days to sort herself out? As you say, she's probably having a horrible time of it, and guests piling in to pull out will only make her feel worse. Obviously if nothing is forthcoming a couple of weeks out, then I'd let her know.

I think I would perhaps gently say you are concerned about the impact of c-19 on her wedding plans and ask her if she's thought about what she's going to do. That might help you start to share the idea that you would be worried about social gatherings unless the situation has drastially changed by then.

I suspect she's just holding out to see and crossing her fingers. It might take a little while longer for her to come around to accepting her wedding plans might have to change drasticaly.

I'm sure she knows it's likely to be cancelled. I dont see what could be gained from texting her to say "by the way we wont be coming because of covid" - she already knows people will be pulling out so no need to rub it in.

I would wait and see. If it was going ahead and I still didn't want to go, I'd say you've come down with something. She won't want you there then. I know it's crappy, but I wouldn't risk my family's health over it.

She should be cancelling. To go ahead is madness and hugely dangerous to those she's inviting. Does she want those people to come to her wedding so much she's prepared for some of them to die as a result?

The over 70s shouldn't be leaving the house atm anyway.

Any social gatherings must be cancelled! I'm surprised she's not cancelled yet

Thanks for the comments. I'll give it another week and see if she cancels of her own accord.

RE over 70s, I agree. My parents are self-isolating atm due to their age, I cant imagine that will change come April.

There is no way that weddings will be going ahead in mid April. Zero chance.

I wouldn't even bother contacting her about it. Assume it's not going ahead and wait for her to tell everyone when she's ready.