Autism/Aspergers people. How are you coping?

[ofwarren]

It's obviously a very trying time for everyone, but autistics especially so.

I feel like my life is in a tail spin.
I thrive on routine and planning and knowing what's coming but now everything is up in the air and the huge uncertainty is making me so anxious.

I've prepped as much as I can with food and supplies but I'm struggling day to day .

There are 5 of us in our family and we are all home for the foreseeable future, due to our son's liver transplant.

How are other autistics/Asperger's people (or your autistic children) feeling at the moment?

I meant to write autistic rather than autism in the title. Sorry

I'm so overwhelmed this morning.
I have a dental appointment that I HAVE to attend as my root canal has failed.

Anxiety is through the roof as we haven't been out the house for 17 days.

My FFP3 mask will be getting an outing today.

Hi ofwarren, recognise you from the prepping thread. I know today must be very scary, but know you have and are taking all the precautions you can. Even those islolating have to go out at some point. I had to go to hospital for a colonoscopy last week when I wanted to stay isolated... I took my mask and hand gel, sat more than 2m away from others, used sleeves to press lift buttons etc and just did what I could. It's all we can do. I have to take my 85 year old Dad to the hospital next week too and I've said we'll wait in the car outside (small private hospital) phone and let them know we're there and they can call when they're ready for us, so we don't have to sit in any waiting rooms. Hang in there - it'll be okay - you've taken all the precautions you can.

Thanks Pebble
I'm just not used to not being in control of the situation.
The staying home part is easy for me as I'm introverted but I've ended up so scared of the outside world.

On the subject of autism - my 85 year old Dad is very much on the spectrum but because of his age, never diagnosed. He is finding the lack of control VERY tough. It's not so much the virus but that he can't do things the usual way / his way or necessarily do them 'now'. I'm online shopping for them and he's hating that it's 'mixing up' his money and accounts. He's also very worried about a medical condition at the moment - I got him to phone the doctors on Monday and they have given him some diazepam to take th edge off and tide him over.

Hi @ofwarren! I'm sorry you are feeling out of control right now. It's a horrible place to be amd very uncertain times!

My mental health has actually improved strangely enough, but only after we went into total lockdown. The dc are quite chipper too. The release of not having to 'mask' at all is immense.

What has helped us is drawing up a new visual timetable for us and dc (the timetable is our god in this house! ) we've got their learning activities, bed/meal times, gardening, exercise, gaming, my studying etc. all on there. So we all know what we are doing and at what time.

What country are you in @rocketmam?
I expect full lockdown would make me feel a bit better too to be honest.
It would stop my parents thinking they are invincible anyway!

@pebble21uk
I totally relate to what your dad is feeling.
It's like your brain compartmentalises everything and then someone has come in and trashed it all. It's so hard to create order from it.
I'm sure I will eventually
I need to focus on creating a new routine.

My asd ds6 says things like 'How long have I had corona virus?" (He doesn't have it afaik!) and he also sees it as an enemy he can defeat much like Bojo, then)

Excuse gallows humour, it's a coping mechanism.

I have been very anxious this week especially as this means changes to my work as I have it all planned out every week what I'm doing and now this is changing completely. I have a few days off this week which I booked off months ago, which has now come at the perfect time. So I feel better at the moment as I don't need to rush to rearrange my diary. And I'm trying to look at things I can do at home such as a research paper that's due in soon along with some other work. I really struggle with uncertainty, possibly like a lot of people. Usually booking time off work makes me very anxious but it feels like just the right time to be off right now.

@ofwarren the UK!

We have voluntarily gone into lockdown. We also have some of the high risk health conditions, though haven't heard from NHS yet. I've pulled dc from school and we haven't left the house since Thursday.

I haven't officially deregistered them yet, they are 'ill' until the Easter holiday. If schools are still open after that then I will dereg. Dh works from home and I'm an open uni student so it was an easy choice to make.

As a bit of light relief dh knocked up this poster last night, as usually the postman know we are in so we end up with everyone's parcels! Don't mind at all usually, but obviously not great right now.

Well, my executive function is shot. I can't sleep, and I keep flitting from 'Argh I need to do ALL OF THE THINGS' to 'I can't do anything it's all too much and I have no energy anyway' on a 10-15 minute cycle. My ability to focus on more than one thing has disappeared too! But, I am glad I am aware of it, and now that I've realised I have chilled out and now do what I can when I can. My DH (undiagnosed) is also struggling, and we are trying to shield our 3 kids (1 dx autistic, 1 waiting diagnosis, 1 apparently NT who suffers from anxiety and has executive function difficulties) from any panic etc so we are muddling through! I'm spending my 'energised' times preparing to home school, and making sure we have food that each person will eat if they are stressed and/or ill (everyone here has different food aversions!)

We have one of those on the door!
So much better

I dont have Autism - both my kids do so i hope its okay for me to post?

I've had to collect ds (15) from School 4 times since last Weds as he's had such bad 'attacks' that although they've previously been classed as panic, they are now querying epilepsy. School called me at 9.01 yesterday to say there was no one avail to sit with him in the medical room so I'd have to collect him and 'dont bring him back this week'.
He is currently dancing to music in his room :)
Dd, also ASD. I'm keeping her off today as she is exhausted.
We are going to experiment with HEd. when (if?) schools shut

@dinosauroffire
That's what I need to do.
Plan for the house and try not to think about anything else.
I'm following the news all the time which isn't good, but I would feel even more out of control if I didn't know what was happening

DinosaurofFire
thank you for your comments - that helps me understand my kids executive function difficulties better.
I appreciate that isn't the gist of the thread so I'll bugger off if necess.

I've found the lack of indecision and the laissez faire approach to looking after wider society particularly difficult to deal with. I've been getting angry and frustrated a lot. Like so many other Aspies I need control and have to be able to plan several months ahead!

Stay @oldlace
It's all helpful
I wanted it to be about autistic and AND kids.

@fromtheashes
Me too. So many people aren't following the "rules" which adds to my anxiety immensely

The uncertainty is awful, but I'm also really struggling with the disruption to routine e.g. on Tuesday mornings I always go to a cafe for breakfast after a walk along the seafront. It was superhumanly difficult to stop myself doing this yesterday.

Managing ok here... my special interest is planning/ organising so it's been put to good use however I also struggle with compulsive urges to check / recheck things so I'm having to keep an eye on that balance

All the kids have autism amongst other diagnoses and are all self isolating as 3 were unwell. They are coping surprisingly well given they are used to specialist provision and a highly structured day.

Have had to cancel our holiday obviously which 2 have found very difficult as we have spent months planning for a trip and now its < understandably > changed. Getting anxious we may have to cancel one childs birthday party which will devastate them as it's their main focus currently

@frustratedandworried
My special interests have gone out the window to be replaced by coronavirus and compulsively checking. All day, every day. My wrists and thumbs are sore.
It's a compulsion and it's not healthy.

Unmumsnetty hugs to you..I know I'm lucky to have my DH helping me keep the balance otherwise I could see it spiralling.

I feel your pain - currently juggling HeD and remote working right now. The indecision is a PITA - I reckon if we had a lockdown now we'd be thrugh the worst of it. My oldest keeps waking at 4am from anxiety.

The worst thing is the thought of spending the entire summer in the West Midlands - that would really blow.