I like to think I’m fairly easy going/laid back/what will be will be kind of person.
However when it comes to this tonight I’ve actually gone and lost the plot. Like truly lost the plot. I’ve bleached so much my hands hurt.
I look after my Nan (90) full time since this time last year as she didn’t want to go into a home. We’ve had a great time us two and we’re really close. Obviously she could slip away at anytime and I’ve could honestly accept that as long as I’ve given her the best possible end of life (she’s actually not in that bad health considering).
My partner lives with us (moved in last month), and my half-older-estranged brother turned up 6 months ago and moved also last month when he’s landlord sold up.
They both think they’re needed in the house and that I won’t manage by myself (first excuse). I’ve broached the matter of either the whole house goes into isolation or if they want to go out on a jolly they can move out. I spoke to Nan and she was in agreement before I spoke to them and again this morning.
Tonight I’ve essentially been told by them (they’ve became best friends since they both moved in) that they’re not moving out and Nan is okay for not going into isolation but they won’t sit in the same room as her. Nan obviously feels torn between making them homeless (plenty of lodgings going/friends). I’ve literally had two hours been called an arsehole for ‘dropping my family and making them homeless without discussing over options such as wearing face masks/bro stays in his room and I bring him food (I don’t have enough shit to do), bro moves into my room as I have an en-suite and I go in the box guest room.
I’ve said to my partner that if he goes on his holiday next week to not come back but apparently Nan says it’s okay, and as ‘this might go on for years social distancing/over 70s staying home is pointless’ according to him.
I have never felt so not in control. I’ve seen that it’s estimated that 80% of the U.K. population will get CV, and that over 80s are at a 85% chance of survival with medical intervention (god knows what’s the chance without). Does that mean that if we don’t go into isolation we’ve got an 1/6 chance of death (really shit at maths and it’s late). I know I’m being OTT, and she has accepted not going out/not allowing others in therefore that chance is lower but still. If my partner passes it onto me who’s going to look after Nan for those few days? Then she dies because she’s fallen over.
I’m being made to be this absolute ogre in these two men’s eyes ‘these are our lives and you need to think of that’. Here I am 4:30 scrubbing the house as they live like pigs, how can they be expected to wipe up door handles when they can’t be bothered to wipe up their own split drinks. I’m ending up in isolation in my own house because they don’t want to stop going out with friends (both wfh) - am I going to be spent not only trapped indoors for the next 3 months plus scrubbing the place constantly after they’ve got their mucky paws everywhere?
I’m literally a nervous wreck. I’ve not eaten all day. I’m wide awake baring in mind I wake up Nan at 6:30.
The woman I love more than the world is being fed to the lions.