Anyone with a loved one in a care home and can't visit

[Littlemiss74]

My beloved Dad has been in a care home for a year. He has quite advanced Alzheimers but he still knows us and we all live locally so visit often and I think that really makes him happy even though he can't say much.

Now we've been told we can't visit which I fully understand but we are obviously concerned that he will just forget us completely and that he will become depressed from loneliness.

I've just come off the phone from my mum and she said she is going to go tomorrow to give the carers a photo album with all our pictures in and she is going to name them so the carers can look at it with him and remind him of us.

She said to me if we can't see him for 4 months he will forget us and that will be the end. She then went quiet but I could tell she was crying.
I didn't know what to say but suggested we could try facetime via the carer.

I feel sick at the thought of him stuck in there without a visitor for months on end and not the foggiest clue why. My mum said she is worried he will think she's abandoned him😢

Is anyone else experiencing similar? Can we support each other please?

I know some homes are facilitating Facetime, Skype or similar conversations between residents and families.

Huge hugs @Littlemiss74 my dad is in a care home. Saw him on the weekend and gave him a hug could be the last for months. I do think we have to work something out. If he was on the ground floor we could wave through the window. Can you do that? And surely they will have to come out into the gardens all 2m apart etc. And we could see them then. MIL also and I have no inkling what she understands.

Aww op it’s so sad for you and your poor mum, but please don’t feel like you’re abandoning him, you’re keeping him safe because you love him.

I work in a care home, and we’ve also had to sadly stop visitors, and yes some of our residents are very confused and upset. It is hard to explain to the individuals with very advanced dementia, where X is, but sadly they ask for X 10 times a day, even if they’ve just left..they can’t remember them visiting, so there isn’t much difference if you see what I mean?
Some are more aware and realise that their daughter/son/wife hasn’t been today, and it’s a really heartbreaking situation.

FaceTime and photo album are a good idea, also we’ve been doing phone calls, so you and your mum could ring him daily if you’re allowed?

Hope this gets better soon so you can get back to visiting your dad! Try not to worry too, (impossible) I know it’s not the same as his family but hopefully he’s in a caring home and you know he’s looked after,

Yes, my lovely granddad it’s the thing I feel most awful about because he has dementia and he won’t understand why no one is visiting him.

Might recorded messages of your voices (plus, if he has any, Grandchildren singing songs etc.) be a comfort?
Played to him by a staff member, whilst simultaneously looking at the relevant photo, perhaps.

Or would it be too confusing?

I really feel for you. Very distressing situation.

Me,
My poor nan, she has alzheimers and is in a care home and since last week no visitors and no leaving for the residents.
Family have been calling her daily and she sounds bright and staff are staying positive with them!
First mother's day in my life i wont get to see her...but i know its for the best.

Also how about sending him a moonpig/funky pigeon card. My auntie did that for her this week with pics of the family with a message saying we are all thinking of you.

Awful, isn’t it? Mine can’t manage phone/FaceTime etc, just too difficult to match screen person to real person.
I have no words of comfort, but have the same issues

My lovely Nan ☹️. And now she's been isolated in her room as they think she has pneumonia.

I'm absolutely terrified I'm never going to see her again.