Moving out due to CV

[Holidayreservation]

We live in an 90 year old’s home. I provide all care as she didn’t want to go into a home. My other family member also lives here after his landlord sold up at Christmas and my partner lives here too.

The ‘boys’ have been living under a rock until yesterday when I said that our house should go under lock down. My Nan is 90 and while doing very well for her age she would most likely die from CV.

The boys think I’m BU. I’ve said that the household should only go out for essentials and even that we should ask others to go to the shops for us. Both boys work from home. I’ve gave an ultimatum that either lockdown but no hard feelings if they’d rather go elsewhere. They’re still wanting to go hang out with mates/go to the gym/gathering etc.

We’re having a family meeting tonight and I need some rational advice - am I going OTT as I’m being lead to believe?

I don't think you're being OTT.

I'm going to isolate with my parents and we have agreed that means that all of us have to totally isolate. I'm hoping my sister would isolate with us too but she's not ready to make the decision yet so she'll have to quarantine herself before joining us if she wants to later down the line.

I’m in a lockdown in Spain I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, if they want to party and be with their mates they are better off moving now before they are forced to lock down like places Europe it will soon become apparent that the uks half arsed measures won’t work.

No you are not going OTT especially with such an elderly relative. Your boys need to understand that socialising should not be happening now not even if your nan was not living with you. They either move in with their mates for the next 1-3 months or accept isolation terms. Any one they come in contact with could have the CV and pass it on to you, your partner or your nan.

And moving in with mates because they won’t be able to visit. You can be fined 500-2000 euros or prison sentence here.

Also young people get it too, pneumonia is considered a mild symptom.

Difficult when you're living with a vulnerable person. Presumably nobody has any symptoms. I'd try to confine your MIL to one room (which is shit) or confine the 'boys' as you stupidly called them to one room. I.e. the hallway and their bedroom.

Nobody has any symptoms but I’ve read that younger people can sometimes display no symptoms.

We’re having a meeting tonight as they want to discuss options such as washing hands more/staying in their bedrooms

But staying in their bedrooms if they’re not hanging out with friends/carrying on as normal. They’re both in their mid thirties.

I think the 'boys' are old enough to understand that they cannot just do what they like regardless of consequence.

Falling in line or moving out seem like reasonable choices to me.

Tough times, tough decisions, OP. Horrific as all this is people need to shape up. I have a 91 year old neighbour that I'm very fond of, so I sympathise, I'm trying to find a way to support her without putting her in any danger. Her own daughter seems to be in denial. I'm finding it very hard to know what to do exactly, but in your case it seems obvious that they either comply or leave. Hand-hold.

Are they paying rent? If not then I think that's you way out of this. It is the 90 year olds home and to take advantage of free or reduced rent at the cost of the benefactors kindness is catastrophically selfish.

Who are they in relation to you? Your sons? In which case they need to take precautions if they want to continue living there!

@badg3r they pay a small token amount of board.

Boy 1 (mid 30) has said that he can’t afford to move anywhere else as work is going to slow down (got guaranteed 30 days unless government closes all non essential work places). And he says if he’s going to be around his colleague he might as well be around his girlfriend who works in retail but he’s decided to not go to a party at the weekend. However taking a mature decision he’s willing to take whatever precautions in the house.

Boy 2: (early 30s) has said he still wants to go out as he’s going to go crazy inside as he WFH. He’s my partner so I expect he still wants to sleep in my bed.

Apparently I’m the crazy one for taking responsibility and not going out as I can’t I’ll as there’s no one else to look after Nan.

I’m literally laying here, again, staring at the wall as I can’t get my head around this.

I'm confused, they're mid thirty year old boys who want to go and party during a pandemic and they live with a very elderly relative of yours? I'd dump the boyfriend and kick out whoever the other one is. They sound rotten. I hope your grandparent is okay.

My god, just chuck them both out. They aren't even paying market rent.

Kick the both of them out. How bloody selfish to not give a damn about an elderly woman's health, no life actually, because that's what they're risking, all because they want to go out with friends and potentially bring this virus into the house. They sound like selfish wasters. Who even is the second "boy"?

They’re not ‘boys’ they are grown men and it’s about time they started acting like it. How dare they take advantage of the kindness of a 90 year old and then callously disregard their safety because they’ll ‘go crazy’ if they have to stay at home.

I read an interesting quote on Facebook the other day. It read ‘ your grandparents were asked to go to war, all you’re being asked to go is sit on the sofa’

Tell the pair of them to grow the fuck up

YABVVU to bring calling men in their 30s boys
They’re basically taking advantage of your grandparent, living practically free of charge and still refusing to respect that home.
Shape up or ship out.

‘Boys’ is the term she uses and I guess I’ve just got used to it. Also, they’re acting like boys therefore they can be called boys.

My partner has fallen into line and is also joining our isolation.

My brother on the other hand is still calling me unreasonable‘I don’t understand, as long as I don’t see you guys and use gloves why do I have to move out’ - because I’m paranoid as fuck incase he touches something/coughs and isn’t cleaning up after himself.

His solution was for my Nan to be confined to her bedroom ‘as she has a tv’ for the next three months. Alright mate, let her limited physical movements be lowered as instead of being able to walk around her house, or across the house to the garden just from her bed to the toilet.

I’m about to blow up and to be honest I don’t care.

Chuck your brother out. He's not your responsibility.

It’s a fucking joke.

Making my Nan feel guilty and I’m being called hitler setting all the rules.

I’m tempted to write out a letter saying that he accepts manslaughter/murder if she catches it and dies - he’s the only one going in and out.