cancellation of Mothers Day lunch

[wink1970]

DH is due to take his 90-yr-old DM to lunch on Sunday, naturally they now both want to cancel. The restaurant (pre-paid) is refusing, and won't even switch the booking to a voucher he can use later for something else.

I think he should get busy on social media and shame them. I know the hospitality trade will suffer in the coming months, but she's 90! WIBU to get cracking on Google Trustpilot etc?

Rate exempt

If you want to make a tit of yourself on social media go ahead, but I think you'll find most people think you're the unreasonable ones, not the restaurant.

Why would you want to do that when everywhere is struggling and worried about their business and keeping things running? Have a heart you can't just cancel and expect a refund. Use the booking yourself. Shifting it to another date won't help you if the place goes out of business while this shit is going on.

Honestly, some people make me boggle.

I'm guessing businesses like this are going to be laying people off soon, it's tough having to decide whether to refund customers which in all likelihood will mean staff going sooner.

Under normal circumstances if you were unable to go for any reason I don't think you would get a refund, assuming the restaurant is still open I think YABU.

Asking for them to provide a take away if the restaurant is local could be a good option.

My DDs singing teacher has cancelled all lessons for the foreseeable, and pretty much everyone has told her they don't want a refund as she is a small business and we all want her to be able to restart once this is over.

It's not like you are going to need the cash to eat out elsewhere. We should all be trying to be supportive rather than calling out people trying to survive. We have no idea how long this is going to last or what state the economy will be in on the other side.

Please don't shame them or complain, it's frustrating to lose the money yes, but try to understand things from their perspective. They will be on the brink of closure, unable to pay wages and quite desperate. Let this one go.

Could you ask them to prepare the meal to takeaway?

Asking about takeaway makes sense.

But while the governments advice means they have to stay open these companies are stuck between a rock and a hard place and if we want them there at the end of this then we need to be supportive and realise how hard things are for them

It's only a few days away, the restaurant will have spent time, money and resources meal planning and getting stock in, they will have rota-ed staff already... They can't afford to refund. I get that it's annoying to lose money but please, just consider what it's like for these businesses who through no fault of their own, and due to sloppy advice giving from central government (do they close or stay open?! But people advised not to go!) are in this horrific grey area. Things are going to get a lot worse for them and very soon. I can't believe you'd contemplate sticking the boot in at this time.

What happens if they somehow manage to survive? When the economy has started to recover and they try and relaunch their business it will be damaged by poor reviews online. What an absolute dick move.

To be clear, it's a hotel restaurant and it's a big-ish brand, not a local SME.

They won't let us use the booking for anything else, and he's not going to go there for lunch on Mothers Day when she can't go!

Thanks for your varied views so far, and for the advice on a take-away. I'll ask them.

Why, just why would you do that? Look at the bigger picture, businesses going under, people not paying their rent, not being able to afford food.

They should give you a voucher/credit note, and yes I would name and shame them if they don't.

Don't give them a hard time, pick your battles and bring this up at a later date when things aren't so fraught. I feel so terrible for business owners right now, they can't do right for doing wrong concerning customers and clients and they want to take care of their employees, and ultimately their families. They might not even be able to afford to refund you at this point.

When did you book the meal? I'd definitely ask them for a takeaway instead.

Yes, fine, write it off this one time- but the next time, who would book with them knowing they won't change or cancel the booking?

I don't think the model of 'just pay up, it's a time of crisis' is going to work over 18 months, is it?

This thing is going to cost the economy a fortune, which is annoying/infuriating/devastating for many, many people - but it's nobody's fault.

Ideally, government would take the hit and help us all through it, as they have the means to do so, but failing that, why should one 'little person' (an individual) have any more legal or moral right not to have to bear a loss than another 'little person' (small business owner) - especially when they are willing to provide the service that's been paid for and it's the customer who has cancelled (albeit for very good reasons)?

They should give you a voucher/credit note, and yes I would name and shame them if they don't.

Shame them for what? For single-handedly introducing a virus to the world? For keeping their side of the agreed contract when the other party feels unable to keep theirs?

Because its the cost of a meal, not the cost of a car, holiday or a house. Presumably everyone was comfortable with the price agreed and could afford to spend it. The company that have taken payment have doubtlessly already used some of the fee to buy stock, secure staff, meal plan etc and crucially, they are likely to need to close much sooner if more clients act this way. They're not refusing to give you what you've paid for, and it's likely that they will accomodate you to takeaway, and its not their fault that this has happened.

We've pre-paid God knows how many activities for the kids - ballet, sports, tutors, music etc. They're all canceled. No one asking for a refund.

We'll lose hundreds and hundreds of pounds. Millions are in the same boat. We've all got to suck it up and try to do small things for each other when we can

I want these people and businesses to survive if possible. They've all got families and expenses too.

I think when you pre pay for things like this that is the risk you are taking, even without the current pandemic you could have easily come down with another illness or his mother could have had a fall and been unable to use the booking so lost the money.

Personally I think you're being an absolute twerp. We have a Mother's Day lunch booked locally on a boat cruise. We are also more than likely to cancel and won't be pushing for a refund. These people will be lucky to be in business by the end of the year.

I'm not in a position to be able to help people out locally with shopping etc. so this is my one, small contribution.

Why should the business bear the cost of your MIL's risk and not you?

I don't think the model of 'just pay up, it's a time of crisis' is going to work over 18 months, is it?

They'll be long gone by then, their business and livelihoods shot to pieces - all through no fault of their own at all.

Name and shame? Really? You do realise what's going on globally right?

Op, hopefully they'll allow the take away option.

We have lost £25 deposit by not being able to go to my Mother's Day lunch. I'd rather the pub kept it and stayed afloat.

If I had a meal booked (I don’t) I certainly wouldn’t be shitty enough to try to demand a refund! It’s part of the contract you had with them - you cancel too close to the time, you don’t get your money back (or whatever the terms were). People are dying, it’s not the time to ‘name and shame’.

Takeaway and serve it up nice at home