Anyone looking at spending most of their maternity leave socially isolating.

[PleaseStopCrying]

After really struggling initially after baby was born, hes very high needs I'm in need of some advice.

I didnt have postnatal depression but felt very fed up and lonely as I knew no one with a baby. I feel like I've just got into a good place with going to some groups and starting to make some mum friends.

Now however I'm facing 12 weeks of social distancing all baby groups are cancelled, rightly so, but now I'm seriously worried that I'll go back to that place and the prospect of not having much social interaction and being stuck wandering around empty parks will lead me to climb the walls. Anyone else in the same boat or have any advice I feel like its going to be a very long monotonous maternity leave.

That sounds tough. Do you have a partner? I am guessing maybe not.
Do you know anyone from the groups enough to message a bit, maybe set up a WhatsApp group and with time it could grow into a video chat?

Yep, 12 week old and dreading it.

Have you got any friends you can video call?

Definitely still go out for walks. Even meet friends at parks and talk a metre away.

Hey OP sorry you are going through this :(

I'm also on maternity leave so will definitely be using this opportunity to be as socially distant as possible. It can be stressful though, due to a combination of the virus and the cold wet weather I am stuck inside with a 4 year old, 2 year old and newborn. Like you trips to library, soft play etc have been cancelled.

To make matters worse I live in a flat and my neighbour is starting to constantly bang on the walls due to the noise :( my kids aren't doing anything out of the ordinary and they are only awake between 7am and 7pm but they are still banging away a few times a day and it's really ramping up my anxiety. Wtf do they expect me to do

I do have a partner but given his job role in health care I'm not expecting to see him much over the next few months.

Sadly I was so busy actually enjoying conversing with adults I didn't think to get anyones contact details which I'm now massively regretting.

We are in Italy and baby is a toddler but I know how you feel. I cried when my first baby grouo was cancelled as it had taken me a while to build a network and routine.

I suggest shifting your community online as much as possible. Can you set up some WhatsApp groups? With the mums you know? Then arrange video 'dates' with other mums, eg have a coffee&cake together via video at a pre-arranged time while the babies wiggle on their mats.
Lots of parents I know are doing the same kids activities on the same days then sharing the photos or chatting online to help feel connected - eg. one day everyone does baby massage, the next day a sensory activity, then a Montessori one, coordinated through Facebook or WhatsApp. You could try learning some skills or doing activities like learning to tie a sling, baby and mum yoga, baby massage via YouTube.

If you don't have contact details, why not email the organiser and ask if they could forward a message/your details to other parents? Or put a message on local Facebook and try to recruit some mum's with similar-aged kids that way?

Some good ideas so far and im sorry to see so many people are in similar situations. Its not even remotely like what I imagined my maternity leave would look like.

cloudyvanilla I'm sorry to hear you have some unsympathetic neighbours. Hopefully they start to be more reasonable the tighter the restrictions get.

Yep, 9 week old here (and 4 year old when schools close). Was just starting to go to groups - felt important for my mental health to be meeting people and getting out, and now that’s it. Not the maternity leave I’d hoped for.

Was just starting to go to groups - felt important for my mental health to be meeting people and getting out

I think thats the crux of the issue. I didnt go for him, although it was obviously nice to do different things with him and for him to meet other babies I went for me. I was just starting to feel more normal and it was so nice to have social interaction with others.

I just feel so frustrated that whilst he wont care we dont go I now have no routine any more, nothing to look forward to and I feel like everyday will just slowly merge into each other just like it did before I started going to the groups.

I also feel quite selfishly that the whole situation is not fair. I know this is silly as its all being done to protect the vulnerables wellbeing and its unprecedented times. However it feels like by the time this all starts to die down I will have been robbed almost of a large part of my maternity leave and it will be time to think about going back to work.

My baby is due today (and not showing many signs of moving). My area doesn't offer antenatal groups so I haven't even had the chance to start building networks of other Mummy friends. This is my first baby and all my friends either live far away or are older with much older children. I had been so looking forward to my maternity leave and going to groups and going swimming etc. But now I feel that it may well be that I can't do any of this and will just have to stay couped up inside all day, every day for goodness knows how long. My in-laws are older so will be self isolating and my parents live far away. My husband is amazing but he has to try and work as long as he possibly can as he's self employed and if the UK gets sent into lockdown we can't afford to live off of my maternity pay. If it ultimately comes down to it, the only thing we can do is for him to stay home and me to go back to work early as I'm NHS so luckily have a secure job.
So I'm definitely feeling very deflated about my maternity leave now.

I feel the same, I have a 1 year old and am a lone parent. Maybe we should try and set up something on here? A virtual baby group maybe

Good luck with your birth neverendingslippers sorry to hear you are in such a rubbish situation, hopefully it all starts to look brighter and you don't end up having to go back to work early.

A virtual baby group sounds like a plan. Im sure we aren't the only new mums craving social interaction. I'm honestly really worried I'll end up even loonier than I currently am because I only have baby to talk to during the day.