Not seeing parents/grandparents for 12 weeks

[newhousestress]

I'm sure I can put up with pretty much everything this virus is going to throw at us - but I am really upset at the thought of not seeing my parents for 12 weeks. We are really close as are my siblings and DC, my DC have seen my parents nearly every day of their lives and they'll be bereft (youngest one especially who I can't explain it to). I know we can FaceTime. I know it's not forever. I know it's for the greater good. But they're such a huge part of our lives. Anyone else feel the same?

My parents are willing to take the small risk of seeing me and DC. We’re all self isolating, DC nursery is cancelled, all social activities have stopped. So we’re unlikely to catch it and pass it on. Of course it would be safer for them to fully isolate but they’d go insane.

I’m going to still see mine but outdoors only in their massive garden. No physical contact etc.

I do feel the same. I've decided to self isolate for a week and then go and join them so that we can isolate together.

To be perfectly honest, I can handle 12 weeks. The alternative is what is freaking me right the fuck out.

We are all upset too, but my kids know how vulnerable their grandparents are, and knowing they are self isolating is comforting as they will be safer. I’m used to seeing my parents daily, and they regularly help with childcare so it’s going to be a big adjustment.

Yea my dc is 2 and sees her nan all the time so this will be so confusing for her

I’m going to self-isolate now so that I can still see my parents. I’m lucky that I’m able to do that as I can work from home and don’t have kids.

My DH is facing not seeing his kids, as I'm self isolating for medical condition and he has to work. We've said if he can't work from home he'd move in with his brother. Not sure if this is over reacting or not but seems little point me and the kids self isolating only for him to come in from work with all sorts of germs. Thing is the kids are little and wouldn't understand the need to avoid close contact. Hopefully things will be clarified tomorrow.

Im feeling bloody miserable about it as I teach and want to be able to help my frail mum and dad out, but am scared of hurting them, as I can’t self isolate. They also struggle with tech so might just be the phone for now. Feeling very sad about this tonight.

I thought we'd be meeting in the garden too but I don't think they're up for that either. They're 70, extremely fit, no underlying health conditions. My mum in particular really wants to avoid being in hospital which I can understand. But it's still upsetting that we won't be able to see them for so long.

Same. My DF has just died, and my DM has various health conditions and is all alone. It's terrible. I can WFH but DD is still at college. Once the weather's warmer I will meet her in her garden, though I'm supposed to be taking her for a hospital appointment next week, don't know how that will work, hopefully she can get an online consultation instead.

My mum is in full on rebellious mode and saying that no politician is telling her to stay at home. To be fair to her it is her decision to take regarding the risks and if she wants to see the kids I'll facilitate it - but I'm not going to be forcing the issue from our side of the equation.

The kids email them almost daily (kids have their own email addresses) anyhow and keep in lots of contact that way - ok so mum gets a million out of focus photos of interesting leaves and pictures they've drawn etc but she loves it.

I bought a Facebook portal so my Mum and Dad can see us easier and chat like he's in the room. Works well and he's really pleased. It's not the same and it's really upsetting but necessary.

Same here. Mum is T1 diabetic alongside other health issues and I work with children so will no doubt catch it.
Saw them last week and knew it would be the last time for a while. I'm so upset and terrified that will have been the last time 😢

Reported for the barrage of obscenities at a complete stranger.

I can keep my kids indoors (they are), I can keep DH indoors... I have no control over a very stubborn parent who is old enough that they won't be likely to get an ICU bed if they did get ill anyway (which is the reality of the situation based on what's gone on in other countries) and if they rock up on my doorstep - I'm not turning them away. Very unlikely anyway but you continue huffing and puffing. The reality of the situation is that if someone like my parents get it - the most they're going to get is a hospital ward bed with oxygen.

I also lost my father to sepsis so your hypothetical hysterical situation is actually incredibly offensive. You didn't know that - but carry on making assumptions about what you DO know about random people on the internet.

My parents live in NZ and have cancelled their trip to see us this summer, so I won't see them for two years

it is her decision to take regarding the risks

But it's not just her who will bear the risk. It's the rest of you and everyone else she meets. It was put harshly in the posts above but this is the stark truth. You can't physically stop her going out but you can choose not to let her into your house. There are lots of these hard choices we're all going to have to make.

My DMum and I are both highly vulnerable, so won’t be seeing each other over Easter, and for the foreseeable future.

I just hope we both get through this.

I've stopped going to my grandmother's house with my 2 DC's. I'll call her frequently but I'm assuming it'll be a good few weeks before I'll see her again. She's on her 80s

Children can be carriers of the virus and show no symptoms, so even though you think you can't/won't catch it you don't know.

In Italy, France, China and all the other countries families have managed not seeing their relatives. If you insist on seeing yours imagine the following scenario...

Your child, bring symptomless, unknowingly has the virus and passes it on to your elderly parent. They - being of a higher risk age - suffer dreadfully and are hospitalised, requiring ICU care for two weeks. You continue about your daily life and tragically have a serious car accident. You're admitted to hospital with life threatening injuries requiring ICU.
Sadly there's no available bed for you as your elderly parent is already in it. Drs have to watch you die because THEY CAN'T TREAT YOU, THERE IS NO AVAILABLE BED AND LIFE-SAVING EQUIPMENT FOR YOU.

Your husband can not attend your funeral as he is in a now forced lock-down which recently had to be implemented because you, your parents and thousands of others like you are a 'close' family and couldn't possibly not see each other.

Your body is dumped in a mass grave with hundreds of others who also couldn't get the intensive care required for their heart-attack, renal failure, labour complication, stroke, brain haemorrhage, car accident, attempted suicide etc etc. BECAUSE ALL THE LIMITED BEDS WERE FULL OF PEOPLE LIKE YOUR ELDERLY PARENT. The mass grave is necessary because the infrastructure is overwhelmed by the sheer number of PREVENTABLE deaths.

HTH - it has happened in every other country and will happen here if people refuse to change their entitled views and lifestyle. A small town in Italy buried over 130 people in ONE DAY ALONE because until the forced lockdown some selfish people refused to do the right thing for the greater good.

United we Stand, Divided we Fall. And when we fall - thanks in part to people like you - thousands won't have the privilege of getting up again.

We've been doing garden visits too, saying 2m away. Feels ridiculous atm but it'll become the new normal pretty soon I'd say.