Leaving kids home alone?

[BlueGheko]

Anyone else have no choice but to do this over Easter/if schools close and beyond? Not very young children obviously, my DS is a sensible 11 year old and thankfully quite mature/independent, well as much as any 11 year old can be! Have been leaving him for upto 2 hours once a week or so for the last year. I work in an essential service and cannot work from home, also a single parent. He would normally go to his grandparents 5 minutes away in the holidays but they're in the high risk category and are self isolating. Thankfully I am usually home by 4pm and work 4 days but still worried about him getting lonely at home by himself for upto 8 hours a day . Not sure what I'd do if he really was too young to be left.

I would not leave an 11 year old alone that long.

I'm sure he'll be fine. I was home alone every Saturday from 8 years, with an 11 year old brother, because mum had to work. It's even easier these days with mobile phones. He can speak to you or his grandparents whenever he wants.
These are exceptional times.

I do with my 10yr old sometimes as I am a single parent working full time too
He’s fine . There will always be proper telling you the house could burn down or he could get burgled etc - but you have to just weigh up the risks .
Leave a phone and if there’s any problems you are easily contactable

Poor child - all of the school holiday!? Can you not take emergency annual leave? Or emergency unpaid parental leave? Is there not another low risk category friend or family member that could be with him? What is your contingency if the schools close!?

In these circumstances, yes

Exceptional times call for exceptional solutions.

Some children will step right up and take on the responsibility, loving communication with calm guidance is the key.

We are cutting ties with children have 3 living next door it's hard but absolutely sensible for the time being.

I think it will be ok. Can you arrange for a neighbour to be on call in case of emergency so he has someone nearby.

I loved extra responsibility at age 11. Time goes faster if there is structure to the day, even kids tire of endless Netfliz. Maybe find some fun chores and tasks that can be done, eg find a recipe you would like to make at the weekend and make a shopping list, sort out old clothes/games and photo them to sell on eBay (you can post them onto eBay but let him keep the profit), grow some seeds on the windowsill wg cress, some herbs, chilli seeds. They are easy to grow indoors and he can be responsible for them

I keep thinking of my dad, how from age 8 during WW2 he biked miles to school, as a youngster he played in bomb sites, construction sites, on train tracks. Or his group of lads headed to the edge of town and just roamed the countryside. Both his parents worked full time, most of his relatives were useless (supporting the war effort or, later, too grief stricken to help with a young child).

Even when I was a kid, I used to "go knocking" for friends, I'd be gone for hours (I had a wind-up watch that wasnt very reliable, my mum used to despair as she worried when she didnt know where I was and i failed to turn up for tea)

It is so sad that our kids can't be free to explore. We live in strange times.

This is why the schools are not being closed, to keep their parents in work.

I do wonder what lala land some MN live in where there is always a supply of money or child care on tap. Not every one has that privilege.

'Poor child - all of the school holiday!? Can you not take emergency annual leave? Or emergency unpaid parental leave? Is there not another low risk category friend or family member that could be with him? What is your contingency if the schools close!?^'
^
Not everybody can afford to take time off unpaid Skeeter. For a lot of people no pay means no food.

What @HathorX said.

I too, remember such days of exploring. I was left alone often in the 70s/80s as a 10 year old.

OP, I think it very courageous of you to post here. Your situation as a lone parent at this very time, presents the difficulties many lone parents have without childcare and/or a support network to help out at short notice.

11 year old is absolutely fine. I’m leaving mine. These are exceptional times too.

I don’t agree with the rose tinted look at the past, but I would leave children aged nine or over at home alone if I had to at this time.

I was a couple of years older than your son when I was left home alone. The toilet over flowed and I didn't know where the stop cock was (neither did my middle agad next door neighbour) So maybe show him where stop cocks are, how to deal with an electric trip switch, that type of thing that may happen so if it does he'll be prepared.

I would be very unhappy about doing this. My DS is the same age and would be safe at home for that long but it's too long to be all alone IMO. Mine could meet up with friends and go out on his bike but i still feel that adult contact is necessary.

However, if you don't have to isolate and you won't get paid if you don't work, needs must. Does he have a phone and a gaming console?

I am leaving mine at home today while I go in to school to teach the ones still going in. They are 11 and 12.

Sorry went off to bed for an early night. No not all summer holidays, I have thankfully got 3 weeks off as I bought an extra weeks holiday, also have one week off at Easter. Like I said his grandparents are walking distance if there's an emergency. My next door neighbour who I've been friends with for 10 years is working from home and several of his friends live in our street/surrounding streets so a better situation than some. I'm not happy about it obviously but glad I started preparing him for independence a long time ago and he has proven himself trustworthy. He feels fine about the possibility at the moment, I can't see any alternative. There must be thousands of parents in my situation where working from home isn't possible. Hope everyone else finds a solution if they're in the same situation, just feel he's going to have to to grow up a bit too fast.

Oh yes he has a phone and an Xbox, he'll barely notice I'm gone! At the moment he's still going out with friends to play football, go out on their bikes etc but that might have to stop soon too.

You are doing the best you can in these uncertain circumstances. I have left my 11 year old for similar periods when we had a family issue a few months ago- she was fine and loved it! You know your child. Take care xxxx

A sensible 11 year old with a neighbour on hand should be fine.

Run through a few rules eg only microwave food so no chance of leaving a gas ring on.

Thanks for all the advice and tips. Hadn't thought about showing him where to turn off the water mains. He knows where the trip switches are and most importantly knows how to reset the WiFi when it goes off . He won't be allowed near the cooker, I'll probably leave him a packed lunch to start with anyway though he can use the microwave. Keep safe everyone.

You need to see if there are any local networks matching people who can help with people who need help.

When coffee shops, pubs and restaurants close, their staff might be interested in short term (paid) work caring for your DC.

Would people really rather leave their kids with a stranger than on their own? I would rather leave mine alone personally, than some random.

It depends on the age of your DC and how well you know your neighbours.

I don't think anyone wouid recommend using a completely random person.

So I've had a chat with my boss, I've got a lot of toil due so they've agreed when the schools shut I can take an hour a day so I can finish early meaning I'll be home for 3pm. Plus my lovely neighbour is working from home for 12 weeks as she is immune compromised and she is going to be available in case of emergencies and I'm going to get her shopping. Our local shop is also going to deliver to those at risk who are self isolating. Have to say I'm cheered to see my local community coming together to help each other out.