I’m a really selfish person. How can I fix this?

[SometimeSomeday]

I’m feeling extremely guilty right now for things I have bought at the supermarket. Toilet rolls, tinned foods etc. I certainly don’t want to have things at the expense of others.

On Friday, I was in a bit of a panic. I’m a military wife and live far from any family. DH is currently on readiness to deploy so if soldiers are drafted in, its highly likely he will be.

I have recently been busy studying for an exam as well as taking care of my 2 DC and our cupboards were completely bare. My next door neighbour is in self isolation and really not doing great.

I went to the shops and stocked up on some tins and other things with a long shelf life. I bought a couple of bags of toilet roll meaning we have over 20 rolls for the 4 of us. I bought toiletries so I have 1 spare of each. I bought a few hand soaps etc. I even managed to get a few small bags of pasta. I was thinking along the lines of, what would I do if DH deploys and I have to self isolate with the 2 kids? I am also an anxiety sufferer.

My fridge isn’t full, my cupboard is well stocked. In all honesty, I didn’t even realise what I did would be classed as panic buying and I’m now feeling dreadful for being a part of the problem.

I have offered food to my next door neighbour and would more than happily share what I have. I just didn’t want to end up without essentials for me and the kids if DH ends up away and with the lack of family support here for us.

I don’t have millions of food, but enough to get us through a couple of weeks if we do end up in self isolation. What should I do? Should I donate some? I don’t want to be a part of the reason why someone else can’t feed their family.

The trouble is that even if you aren't usually a panic buyer, the fact that when you go shopping and see hardly anything on the shelves it makes you panic. I'd have done the same as you. Don't feel bad.

I don't think that is panic buying - it sounds sensible. I've seen people in the supermarkets with 3 or 4 packs of the 18 loo rolls, and kilos of pasta - that's being selfish.

Keep an eye on your neighbour and offer help if you can, without risking your own health.

I would say just don't buy anymore for now. If you're happy to help out neighbours when needed then thats great too. It can't be helped that shelves being empty lead people to feel anxious about having enough.

It’s sensible to have to enough of everything to last you 2 weeks in case you need to self isolate. Don’t feel guilty for that. A selfish person wouldn’t offer to help their neighbour. Do keep checking in with them and other neighbours too to see if they need anything. Don’t go out if you have any symptoms. It’s all any of us can do.

It seems you have a fairly reasonable amount, just don't buy anymore unless you leave it so others can have the replenished stock.

You have enough for an isolation. You havent got 64 toilet rolls packed away.

If you think you have far more than you need, donate to a food bank.

Also look for local groups, especially other military wives who are supporting the community. Get involved and then you have back up as well.

You don’t sound selfish OP. Your cupboards were empty.

Don't feel bad. Supply chains look stable for now even here in Central Europe (and we're all under far tighter restrictions at this moment than the UK is).

Though I admittedly don't get the general bog roll obsession - it's one of the first items I'd manage to work around no longer being available.

That's not panic buying.
I have bought toilet roll (one pack) and pasta in my weekly shop even though I didn't need it and under normal circumstances would have waited another week. I don't think that's bad and selfish!

That’s not panic buying 🤷🏼‍♀️ You have stocked up. I always buy toilet roll in bulk, have done for years. I do a weekly online shop but frequently buy 2/3 weeks worth of some stuff. It just makes sense.

You’re not selfish, you’re considering how you will get through a potentially very rocky and uncertain period ahead with children to care for, likely by yourself. Please don’t feel guilty, making sure you have enough to get through a few weeks safely is not the same as buying everything off the shelves that you won’t need or can’t use and depriving others xx

That's fine :-) if you're feeling anxious, go through everything and make meal plans for the next few weeks using what you've bought. It'll make you fee more in control x

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I have made sure that the few friends I have around here know to let me know if they need anything as I’ll happily share what I have if needed. I’m feeling a little bit better now. Thanks all.

It's doesn't sound like an inappropriate amount OP.

Just look at the other thread on loo roll. Some posters admitting to having 40/50/60 rolls at home.

Then look at the picture of people buying whole trays of tomato's/beans etc.

I saw people in the supermarket last week lugging round two full trolley's around.

That's the sort of panic buying that needs to stop.

Getting in an extra pack of loo roll and a few extra tins isn't the problem. It's people buying stupid quantities of produce.

I'm hoping that most people have shopped themselves out and things will start to calm down a bit.

I would have done exactly the same in your shoes. I was expecting you to say that you took all of the loo roll and pasta in the whole shop!

I don't think it is panic buying to make sure you have enough food in for a couple of weeks, I think it is prudent. It is panic buying to buy loads of one thing, or buy things you don't need (e.g. if you already had 20 loo rolls at home). I spent a bit extra on each of my last two shops to make sure my freezer and cupboards are well stocked. I do not feel remotely guilty for that.

That’s not panic buying, that’s just being prepared. But remember that you should still do your normal shopping on top so that you have a constant 2 week supply on hand iyswim.