AIBU to ask people to stop throwing around accusations like selfish/smug/irresponsible?

[PNomintrude]

This is obviously a time of huge anxiety and uncertainty, different people will be dealing with it in different ways and according to their circumstances. There seem to be so many posts and threads where people harangue others for whatever they perceive to be wrong with their behaviour. AIBU to think that this is unhelpful and lacking insight and compassion?

Yes there are a tiny minority of people who probably are being complete dicks whether in relation to potentially spreading covid19, or buying far more than they need etc. But most people are just doing their best with very partial information and constant day to day changes in that information.

Yes, YABU. It's more than the odd person who is selfishly panic-buying. One of the means by which societies regulate the behaviour of their members is by ensuring that certain behaviours attract the censure of others.

Well then we need never fear for societal cohesion as long as Mumsnet is up and running I guess. How do you know how many people are selfishly panic buying btw?

The empty shelves nationwide are a bit of a clue. Odds are it isn't solely the work of that guy I saw loading up a trolley with the entire shelf of soya milk last night (literally, the trolley was entirely soya milk).

Social cohesion is easier when everyone has enough to go around.

It's fairly obvious many people are selfishly panic buying by the state of the shelves in the supermarket.

I've seen people shouting at shop assistants for refusing to sell more than 1 hand gel per person. People are so selfish, they want it all for themselves and bugger anyone else.

Would be very interested to know how many people buying 60 rolls of loo roll for a family of 4 were posting #bekind all over fb last month.

Clearly some people are being selfish, if suddenly there is a run on certain basic products and the shelves are cleared of them. Society can't run if everyone maximizes their own sense of entitlement in times of stress. I understand that fear produces these reactions, but the effect is still harmful to others.

I guess, on an existential level, what is selfishness? Is it an intention, or is it a result? If there is a delicious pie that is intended for the whole family, and you eat it all yourself because it smells really good and you're hungry, is that selfish? You may not have any unkind intentions. But you're the only one who gets pie.

YABU, people ARE being selfish. We all want to protect our own but that shouldn’t be at the detriment of others, especially the less able. There is a story in my paper today about an elderly lady who went to do her usual two weekly shop and when she got her taxi back home she was in tears because she couldn’t get even half of what she would normally get. The lovely taxi driver drove around and helped her find the rest which he paid for.

I do a monthly shop because I live way out in the country and get what my family of seven needs in one go. I have always got UHT milk and my online order has just come back as updated with no UHT milk, no baby wipes for my 8 month old, none of his baby formula, no rice, no weetabix, no paracetamol which I get two packs of each month as both my girls suffer with bad period pain each month.

I haven’t even bulk bought in case of self isolating and even if I wanted to, I can’t because of panic buying. Thankfully I am fit and able enough to travel further afield to get what’s needed but there are many in our society that can’t.

It IS selfish regardless of anxiety etc, so YABU.

I'd quite like it to not have words like liar and scaremongerer thrown around either.

But trolls gotta troll I guess!

I don't understand this 'empty shelves= selfish panic buying' thing tbh. Surely if loads of people buy just 1 extra of things (which is hardly unreasonable in the circumstances, and doesn'twa ualify as bulk buying) that is enough to empty the shelves because it adds up to far more demand than usual.

My brother just texted to say there was a full-on fight in his local Morrisons yesterday between two women over hand santitiser. Police had to be called apparently. It's madness and I'm sure it's making people even more scared.

But it's not just about panic buying. If you bought a few extras ages ago for Brexit etc, you're 'smug'. On another thread people are branded irresponsible if they're trying to conceive at the moment.

The thing is that these situations have a momentum of their own, yes ok it is selfish but nobody knows if we'll be in lockdown in the next few days. So it seems prudent to get in a few extras, then of course if you multiply that by lots of people, you get shortages, and then others start to panic. It's a problem, of course it is. I guess I just don't see how it's constructive to add to all the 'noise', it's like some people get off on condemning others.

Fear can make us do stupid selfish things, then again you have a lot of community spirit and people like the taxi driver mentioned in a PP who go out of their way to help. It's hard to control these things properly without bringing in rationing and limits. Not so much to stop people being selfish but to give everyone the reassurance that supply chains are being managed properly and fairly.

Can I buy some toilet paper from you OP?

I saw someone yesterday completely clear the shelf of mince, he was putting packs and packs of it into the trolley and left the shelf empty. My friend works in Curry's and said they've sold 3 weeks worth of fridgefreezers in a day because people are buying them to store the extra stuff they're buying. We don't all have the money to be able to do all that extra buying and buying another fridge freezer and those of us who can't are left unable to get things. So yes, it's selfish.

AnneLovesGilbert I don’t really understand your comment?

This is Mumsnet. Surely it's only reason for being is so we can cast aspersions on our fellow posters?

I heard a toilet roll manufacture on the radio saying we make it in England & there is more than enough of people stop thinking they need a years worth.

left hand typing, oops

more than enough toilet paper if people stop thinking they need a years worth

I'm with you OP.

Lots of us feel angry and scared: taking it out on each other will only make this worse.

This is going to be hard for everyone. Compassion and empathy are going to be more important than ever.

I comfort myself by believing that most people have a little more humanity and insight than shouty people on the internet.