Elderly relatives socialising?

[Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple]

What’s the responsible thing to do?
Elderly mother, 84 with preexsisting health issues. Has two regular weekly outings, an age concern lunch ( about 40 people) and a coffee morning ( about 15 people), also booked on a uk coach trip in May.
Should I be saying don’t go ?
It isn’t government advice and if I’m following logic correctly, plan is to flatten curve to spread over a long period, so it’s not like I’m saying don’t go for two weeks, could be months and months and that’s a significant chunk of her remaining time, so to reduce her quality of life significantly for a prolonged period seems a bit harsh, on the other hand it seems irresponsible to throw her into a sea of germs ?
What plans,thoughts etc are you having for elderly loved ones ?

It'll probably be cancelled

I'm saying once and once only what I think then leaving them to their own decisions. They're not children. Up to them what they decide, even if its not a 'wise choice'

My 80 yr old mother has said she'll go mad if she has to stay at home with just my dad for company. She has a very active social life and will take her chances and carry that on for as long as she can thank you very much.

And anyway, the dog needs walking.

Let your mum decide.

I made sure mine understood where we were and that the government was trying to protect all society, not individuals, and that the only people really looking out for them was them and so they had to make their own decision as to when to isolate. Which they did.

An elderly relative (aged 82, in good health) gave me very short shrift today when I suggested cancelling a non essential meet up and lectured me about how people who didn't live through WW2 just don't know how to get on with things. I said calmly that the keep calm and carry on mentality is what will spread this thing. Noises were made. We met up anyway. I agree all you can do is advise her strongly not to go. Also agree that the coach trip won't happen.

I put something on another thread about this about DF -90s - who has mid stage dementia but lives alone with support from carers.

His life is limited enough as it stands. To isolate him for 3 -6 months would serve no purpose. His life would not be worth living. He is going to die at some stage over the next couple of years - and I am pretty sure that the man he was would prefer to be taken by corona virus now than to be put in solitary and die of end stage dementia ( with all that involves) in say three years time.

We are taking the view that he should carry on as usual.

I think you need to have that conversation with your mother assuming she still has mental capacity. I guess the balance is very different at 84.

I think it’s fine to let them decide if in good mental health and they can make an informed choice obviously.
My mother has a brain tumour and isn’t fully functioning mentally in that I wouldn’t trust her to make an informed decision ( which is presumably the case for many caring for relatives with dementia,alzheimers etc) plus I physically take her to these things so feel more responsibility I suppose.

My inalws are 73 and 80. As far as they are concerned they will live their life as normal. They have a limited time left and are likely to catch it at some point anyway so want to enjoy their lifes before they do incase they do succumb to it.

I'm a home care worker and have spent the week having conversations with clients about it all. The vast majority are pretty philosophical that if they catch it they could die, but they are all most scared of being abandoned in their homes with nobody allowed to visit. Don't underestimated how lethal loneliness can be for the elderly.

My parents are in their 80's with pre-existing health conditions and live rurally. My sister lives very close to them and works for one of the emergency services.

She read the riot act over a week ago and they are confined to the house for the foreseeable with no trips out or visitors allowed. Car keys have been confiscated lest they make a break for Sainsbury's or similar whilst sister is at work! Grandchildren are banned from visiting. Sister drops off shopping and anything else they need.

They have TV, phones and fully set up internet and so far appear pretty cheerful.

I'll be having this talk tomorrow with my 80 year old mother. Not only of the age to be vulnerable, but she has non hodgkins lymphoma and they drive all over the bloody country safely I might add as she will drive me weekly too
I'm pushing for cancelling all the mettings they have planned nationwide, I'm hoping are all cancelled for them, and just stay home for now. She'll drive over to my house and park by the front door and come to eat sometimes for a change of scenery.
They stay busy with TV, internet and crosswords most of the time.

The coach trip will be cancelled if there’s still a problem in May. Age Concern know what they are doing and will be taking appropriate steps. The other coffee morning may be dodgy if it’s not being run by professionals.

I think much though I love dh if we were stuck in doors for 3 months I might contemplate murder so might he (I had better hide the knives!) Actually we have decided that we will go out on long walks with camera or go to country parks where you can avoid people - we are lucky that we are fit enough to do this