Mum sick and abroad, what to do

[Minormiracle]

Hi all

My DM (75) who is in poor health has been diagnosed with coronavirus in my country of birth (Europe). I live in the UK with DH and two young DC. Have both UK and EU nationality in case that makes a difference. Work for the NHS.

My head is spinning with questions and I wonder if anyone has any insights. Mainly, do I go over?! Can I go over? I guess there's nothing stopping me really as neither the UK nor the country my DM is in have closed borders. But I guess I might not be able to come back to DH/DC/work. Plus she's supposed to self isolate so I'm not supposed to be with her anyway.

But what if I don't go over now and then she becomes very ill at a time when travel is banned?

I am very worried, does anyone have any words of wisdom?

What à very difficult situation for you. My advice is the advice that was once given to me when my Dad had cancer - go. It may be your only chance. I really hope it isn't and that she gets better, but you may not have time to wait and see.

Thank you

I would weigh up the potential consequences of going vs not going. In your case it does sound like the risk of your dm getting much worse and you not seeing her again (although hopefully this won't happen, of course!) is more serious than potentially being stuck in that country for a while and missing work so I'd probably go.

It all depends which country in Europe (some have closed borders) OP but if it is possible I would visit her.

It all depends on what country Im afraid.

Normal times gives an answer of course you go. These times what does actually going achieve - will you be allowed to see her (probably/possibly not) what happens if you get it in terms of self isolating etc when you come back

I am so so so sorry that this is happening to you in this time but yes she needs to self isolate by herself. Its awful

They don't appear to be preventing people from travelling- and certainly the U.K. doesn't seem to be stopping people coming in.
You'd almost certainly catch it, so need to think about the implications of that.
How long would you stay?
Is there anyone else there to support her?
What if you were stuck there for a long time because she was ill for a while and then you became ill too?

I know this is a hugely difficult situation but I have to point out that if you go you will in all likelihood also contract the virus and therefore you are committing to a) being ill and b) staying there until you're clear of it. If you are in a position to cope with that then go. But think very carefully first.
So sorry OP.

Ask yourself what she would want you to do. Because she'd want the best for you If she is lucid I would consider going, but it has significant consequences for your family. Jobs, childcare, self-isolation on return. My fingers are crossed that she makes a good recovery 💐

Thank you everyone. My dad is with her although I expect he will get ill too. They're both adamant they don't need me to come, they're generally the most selfless people. They seem in good spirits.

It's an awful dilemma. I don't think I would mind catching it as I am young (relatively!) and in excellent health so the symptoms ought to be mild for me. I worry about the DC and my work though.

I'm trying to find out the risk of either country closing its borders in the near future. It's Holland by the way but I think the chance to travel by train may have gone as I believe Belgium is going into lockdown.