Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

To cancel wedding??

83 replies

Doicancel · 13/03/2020 00:11

Due to attend friends wedding in Cambridge in 2 weeks with husband and our 11 month old DS.

I may be feeling over cautious but I have an 80 year old grandfather who I see very regularly. He’s in good nick for his age but he is still 80. And I hope to have him in my life for many years. I hate that people are saying “the elderly are most affected” like they don’t matter.

I’m concerned about going to a wedding with circa 80 people in attendance and especially with my son. Aibu to cancel?

I am so sad for our friend - such terrible luck - but does there comes a point where you have to make a selfish decision to protect yourself and your children/family??

Happy to be told iabu if that’s the case but would also be interested in honest opinions

OP posts:
Grobagsforever · 13/03/2020 06:06

@marnie76, bear in mind there are a lot of virus trolls on here, Hoomanmoomin may well just be bullshitting to shame the OP

Marnie76 · 13/03/2020 06:08

Grobagsforever

Ah, that hadn’t occurred to me. What’s wrong with people! Thanks.

Carrie7469 · 13/03/2020 06:42

The elderly are more affected. That's a fact. Nobody's saying they don't matter

Leflic · 13/03/2020 06:44

What does your Grandad think?
Or is his opinion not worth as much as a bunch of strangers.

BlueBobbleHat · 13/03/2020 07:10

'Are you also planning on staying inside forever?'

Oh for goodness sake, I'm sure the op is doing what we all are doing and just thinking how to reduce risk.

I wouldn't go op. Hard for your friend obviously but that's life at the moment.

Nquartz · 13/03/2020 07:17

Personally I'd wait & see what the situation is nearer the time. Advice is changing constantly (I had 3 briefings in the space of 4 hours at work yesterday) so it might be out of your hands by then anyway.

RoseAndRose · 13/03/2020 07:18

Unless you are practising social distancing diligently (or expect to begin soon) in order to protect your

Settlersofcatan · 13/03/2020 07:29

I think if you're still generally getting out and about, it's a bit of an weird choice to not go to a wedding. I would go and just be careful. But everyone has to make their own judgement of risk.

PersephoneandHades · 13/03/2020 08:22

Say you go to the supermarket to buy food for your granddad, how many people do you think touched that jar of pasta sauce before you picked it up and put it in your basket? How many people do you think are in the supermarket with you while you're doing your shopping? How many people do you think touched that food packaging while it was being distributed to the supermarkets?

YABU to think that you have thus far avoided being around 80 people since the virus became more widespread, as many others have said, you yourself carry greater risk by running daily errands and handling money/ cards/ going on public transport than you do going to a wedding and practicing good basic hygiene.

We were supposed to visit my uncle next weekend (who lives in Chester, not a different country), and he called last night to say he wasn't comfortable with us coming over since we're from a city. That's £140 pounds of our money down the drain due to paranoia.

DingDongDenny · 13/03/2020 10:33

You are a carer for your grandfather and so have different priorities to people who aren't caring for people who are at risk

I think it is very sensible not to go. The increased risk of travelling and prolonged contact with a larger group of people isn't worth it and I think in 2 weeks time the infection rate will be much higher

If you are in regular contact with people who are more at risk, either at home or at work then you have to consider them first, not yourself

Flamingnora2020 · 13/03/2020 12:12

Are you completely self isolating?

SVRT19674 · 13/03/2020 12:41

To be honest in this case I would go on my own and then not contact my grandad in person for 2 weeks.

Youdreamedmydreamforme · 13/03/2020 12:44

Go to the wedding, wash your hands, don’t see your grandad for two weeks after.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 13/03/2020 13:15

I think it depends on number of cases where you are, and where you're going for the wedding. There are certain places I'd avoid at the moment but lots more I wouldnt. On balance I'd probably go, wash my hands, sanitise, and avoid touching my face or hugging other people etc.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 13/03/2020 13:16

Also I think people say the elderly are most affected because it's a fact. Not because they think it doesnt matter

missperegrinespeculiar · 14/03/2020 00:42

well, nobody has quite said they don't matter, but our government's strategy is going for herd immunity, this basically means just let everybody catch the virus, yes, some of the vulnerable in our community will die, be ready for it, this is the strategy right?

sure, we are going to cocoon the vulnerable, but how? what actual strategies have been put in place to do that?

Onandonandons · 14/03/2020 00:47

Yabu I would go. Unless you're not going out at all. If you are, you're a hypocrite.

Kwkwjwkek · 14/03/2020 00:52

Just watched news night, and they did mention about going to weddings! They said that it’s fine as long as you don’t have symptoms and the other guests don’t have symptoms. Also, they said people are less contagious if they don’t have symptoms.

feelingverylazytoday · 14/03/2020 01:04

I think your granddad first here. I probably wouldn't go, to be honest.
onandonandons there's nothing hypocritical about it. Even people n lockdown go out sometimes. It's about reducing risk.

aroundtheworldyet · 14/03/2020 01:10

Unless you’re self isolating then yes you are being unreasonable

Because the risk factor is the same as going to the shops.
Don’t touch anyone. Don’t kiss anyone and wash your hands.

Do you really think you can stop getting it? I am not seeing my 88 year old father. I told him this might be for months. Because I am in a much higher risk area. And I have been away. I may change my mind. But currently I won’t.

aroundtheworldyet · 14/03/2020 01:11

@feelingverylazytoday
You know people who go out on lock down.

Then what is the point!! I mean WTAF

Bowerbird5 · 14/03/2020 01:24

In Wu’an they are allowed out to buy food every three days if necessary.

LouiseCollina · 14/03/2020 03:43

I'm very surprised the vote here is nearly neck and neck. To me it's obvious that the health and potentially lives of family members comes before a wedding celebration!

ThriftyMcThrifty · 14/03/2020 05:12

I doubt you will be the only ones, we had plans to go to a wedding and it’s been called off.

probablysue · 14/03/2020 05:25

Unless you, your DH and your child are staying indoors completely from now on then YABU. Are you still going shopping? If you are then you need to give your head a wobble. There are more than 80 people in close proximity in a large supermarket. Are you using a shopping trolley? How many people have touched that before you? They may have sneezed over it. Go to the wedding. Leave your child at home. Don’t kiss or hug anyone and use antibacterial hand gel. If you’re still shopping and going in to your grandfather then you’re still risking passing it on to him. Is he house bound? Is he still going out to the pub? Shops? Church? If you really want to stop him catching it then he needs to self isolate and you need to leave his shopping on the doorstep and not go in the house

Swipe left for the next trending thread