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Would you cancel relatives' visit to elderly mum?

4 replies

FlyingPi · 09/03/2020 11:46

Relatives are coming up later this month and while they'll be staying with me, they're really coming to see my 80 year old mum who lives nearby. They both work in hospitals, one of them in a hospital where someone has died of coronavirus although not the same ward/department. My mum is very worried about coronavirus but doesn't like to make a fuss. Now, she has always been kind of a hypochondriac so normally I don't take her that seriously, and I myself am not bothered about the virus (I figure if I get it, me and my kids will recover as we're all basically healthy). However I wonder if she does have grounds to put off the visit but - being very unsure of herself - if so I would have to intervene and tell them to postpone. My mum doesn't have any major health problems at present other than some gut issues and arthritis, but she's old and not strong.
Afaik, the relatives don't have any symptoms yet and I would assume they wouldn't travel if they did, however they're a bit ... insensitive. For instance my mum did try to raise the question and one just said, "Oh well, I don't worry about that, if you get it you get it," without realising that her getting it at 55 is different from my mum getting it at 80. If they don't come up now, they will probably not come again so my mum might never see them again, which would be sad for all as it's been years.
Should I intervene and tell them not to come?

OP posts:
MulaDd1 · 09/03/2020 13:29

Are you still going to work? Shops? Kids to school? Are you then still going to see your mum? Is she still going out? Same type of risk really, just a different set of people your relatives will interact with.

Ariela · 09/03/2020 13:42

I think it's fine provided the relatives follow the basic advice: don't visit if unwell, wash hands thoroughly, and don't touch your mum, then minimal risk.

I'd suggest to tell the relatives you mum is anxious about it, and remind them to do this to reassure her.

Springbubble912 · 09/03/2020 14:13

We were due to visit elderly relatives last weekend - they were clearly very anxious and didn’t want us to come , they were noticeably relieved when we decided to postpone although they wouldn’t ask us not to come .

2/4 of us have a nasty chesty cold - we went through Heathrow over half term - husband was into London last week . No concrete reason not to go and I think it might of been the last chance to go for months . It really wasn’t worth the anxiety it was causing .

I’d have a chat with your guests!

Writersblock2 · 10/03/2020 00:41

If you’ve got a couple of weeks to think about it, maybe reassess. I’m not visiting my parents and I’ve advised them to get online shops for the time being. They are in their late 70s and mid-80s. My mother has asthma and my father has emphysema, which makes him particularly vulnerable.

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