Just been introduced to the stiff upper lip mentality of the brits

[auslass]

I'm an aussie who has recently come to UK with my English Husband, and as part of my welcome to Britain induction I think I have been introduced to the “stiff upper lip” mentality. Hub's work have a suspected Covid19 case, HR send out an email, saying it’s ok to come in based on PHE advice, but if anyone isn’t comfortable they can work from home. Hubby's manager on the other hand called everyone (note not on email, so it's not "in writing") and told them to come in regardless, and basically to ignore “the fluffy HR advice” 😂

Is this stiff upper lip? Where does it come from? Why does it exist? Or is this guy just an a-hole?

Yeah this isn’t a British thing. It’s an arsehole thing.

Most of us are quite fluffy and love a drama.

I think most people are against "skyving off" hence massive focus on presenteeism in the UK.

No, not normal. I'm sure there are some employers like him in Australia too. Your husband can follow the HR advice.

Weirdly, his employer has offices in Australia too. They had a training course where the facilitator flew through Singapore.

The girl who flew in does not have Coronavirus, but anyone who attended the training is being told to work from home for two weeks! CrazyZ

The thing is, based on the PHE advice, it's safe for the employees to go into work (?) that's what the email says.

It is a bit fluffy to add a caveat "if you feel uncomfortable then don't come in" What does that mean? Won't everyone take that as a green light to have a few days off?

During colonial times, a lot of the middle classes had to send their children ‘home’ to boarding school while they stayed in India or Africa. My husband’s parents both experienced this, and for various reasons barely saw their fathers after they were eight or nine.

This was a huge emotional schism, but parents were told that they were doing their , for the Empire or for their country, or for the child. I remember my MIL telling me that once, when she was putting my then eight, onto the train to boarding school, 150 miles away, a widowed friend was upset at doing the same with her only child, also very young. My MIL told her that she had to do it for the sake of the child, it was just what was ‘ They had a great fear of children going to local schools and acquiring local Scottish accents!

All those professional class families for the best part of a century doing something similar—it had a profound effect. The children learned that open expression of emotions was almost dangerous. You had to button up and get on with it.

Useful during the Blitz. Not so good when you’re navigating close relationships.

Stiff upper lip would be your husband's work telling people not to come in, and people going in regardless. Actually not really but the best I can do using your example

Sorry, that was regarding the stiff upper lip.

I agree, "stiff upper lip" is not showing your feelings when upset or putting a "brave face" on. I suppose you could say the manager is taking a stiff upper lipped approach to coronavirus but from what you've said, the risk is negligible.

I think he sounds fairly sensible.

Interesting post @abraid2

Confirmed case at his work now, and the manager is still expecting everyone to go in! Crazy.

Okay that’s bizarre. Most places are closing for deep cleaning in confirmed cases!

You are spot on @Abraid2
Such a tragedy for so many families.

They're cleaning the section the affected person was in. That's it.

HR also have toned down their fluff and have said "if you don't feel comfortable, talk to your leader" the leader is an a-hole, of course he's going to make his team go in. Most of them have kids and or pregnant wives (I'm one of the pregnant ones).

I can feel myself getting sick already - probs all in my head but still!

I wonder if our DH's work in the same building, OP? Mine got an email when he was at home today. He showed it to me this evening, and I immediately said "well that's that then, you can work from home for the foreseeable". Because there is no reason why he can't work from home all week, rather than the 1-2 days he does now. Everything he does can be done remotely. I'm hoping his boss is not going to be a dick about it

(And I'm not planning on cocooning is all but right now if you can easily avoid the squashed hell that is the London Underground network why the hell wouldn't you?!)

I've stuck a pack of Dettol wipes into my bag to wipe down touchscreens but other than that it's business as usual for me. And will be until I'm forced to do otherwise.

So long as people keep up handwashing and door handles etc are wiped down often I don't see why any business would need to close.

Agree, thank Christ I can I work from home. It might be the same building. And yeah, keep off the tube as much possible. It makes sense to slow the spread as much as possible!

Hahaa
British born and bred and I agree OP

I hate the saying and the action of the "stiff upper lip".

As a PP said its certainly not all of us . Certainly not me.

His team need to get together to speak to HR, particularly if people are pregnant or have vulnerable relatives. They would be responsible if it spread through the workplace after giving advice like that. Besides, what's better? Everyone getting ill in two weeks and being off, or a well team working from home? Really shortsighted isn't it?

People don't just sit at desks all day, they would move around the whole building and talk to eath other/have meetings The building would need a deep clean at the very least, but chances are someone would just bring the virus back in anyway soon after. What a dick his boss is.

I'm British born and bred. I'm not being gung-ho about coronavirus but equally I'm not isolating myself. I bath daily (sometimes twice), wash my hands properly and try to minimise contact with public surfaces.puts hand gel back into pocket

Wanker.
I've told my team to ensure they are set up to WFH if there is a need to. With people using public transport to get to work in an urban area, and working in a large open plan office, the chances are that at some point one or all of us is gonna be affected and I l, as an asthma sufferer who gets chest infections every year, do not want to catch this.

RickOShay

I think there must have been so many of them who were emotionally stifled. ☹️

The problem is that a stiff upper lip can lead to a stiff bottom lip, and whole body.

So long as people keep up handwashing and door handles etc are wiped down often I don't see why any business would need to close.

But people don't stick to it.
Jabbing at the photocopier with the finger that have stifled a cough, infecting door handles, toilet flushes, cups, microwaves, phone receivers, with air con blowing it all around.. Not everybody is so vigilant, as i have witnessed at my place this week.