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Covid

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Original poster

What happens with the children...

35 replies

Lou573 · 04/03/2020 13:24

If both my husband and I are struck down with Coronavirus and unable to look after them? Either hospitalised or bedridden? Baby and preschooler, presumably family can’t step in if we’re all contagious? I assume lots of others are in the same predicament.

OP posts:

Langbannedforsafeguardingkids · 04/03/2020 13:52

I don't know, but this is my worry too. Get a few 9 year olds in to help (I think I'm joking)?

Scbchl · 04/03/2020 13:59

I dont see the point in worrying about what ifs. It might never materialise. And even if you did both get it, unless you are in one of the at risks groups. Chances are it would be mild anyway and you wouldnt be hospitalised and would be self isolating along with the children also.

Faybian · 04/03/2020 14:01

There is a good chance that one of you will be well enough to look after the children at any one time. Most people are only really ill for a few days. I wouldn't worry too much about the children catching it. According to the WHO only 2.4% of cases are under 18s and as far as I know none have died or been seriously ill. It is also very unlikely that both of you will need hospital treatment. Also children usually sense when parents are ill and be and are a bit less demanding.

damnthatanxiety · 04/03/2020 14:04

Do you ask yourself this questions every winter regarding the flu or a really bad cold? Of not, then YABU. If you do freak out every winter then you are also BVU

Original poster

Lou573 · 04/03/2020 14:09

No, I don’t freak out every winter, and I’m not freaking out now. But given that our odds of catching this are getting increasingly higher I’d quite like to have a vague plan for the kids and just wondered what other people had planned. It’s not really comparable to flu or colds - we all get our flu jab and in any case family would take the kids if it was any other illness involved, this is a bit different.

OP posts:

Isabellaswann · 04/03/2020 14:10

Why is it different?

Scbchl · 04/03/2020 14:14

The chances of being both hospitalised at the same time is very slim. By the time (IF) it is widespread, it will only be people who are seriously ill being admitted to hospital. Do either of you have any illness that makes you at risk?

My dh was in Japan for 7 weeks and I had influenza b and had to look after the three kids alone. It was horrific but I just had to get on with it. From what I have read, most people are getting a mild case for three days when they are healthy adults, so I doubt it will even be as bad as when I had the flu.

Northernsoullover · 04/03/2020 14:17

I'm a lone parent and I've been incapacitated a few times. Norovirus when they were 2 and 4 was particularly hard. My mother also had it so couldn't help. A kind lady from my local church came over to occupy them and gave them lunch. I don't go to church I just knew her from a playgroup.
Severe chest infection, got a local mum to take them to school. Phoned a friend to bring food around for the kids.
Last year I had a flu type illness and I ordered in food. You need money and a support network. I'd have been screwed otherwise .
My children are older now but its still awful if I get ill.

Original poster

Lou573 · 04/03/2020 14:18

@Isabellaswann because family could take the kids if it were cold or flu but not Coronavirus. Obviously notifiable diseases are a bit different. Glad to hear people think it would be unlikely to happen simultaneously, although I’m sorry if it’s apparently a question I shouldn’t be asking for some reason I can’t quite work out, it is the Coronavirus topic though!

OP posts:

Purpleartichoke · 04/03/2020 14:19

The same thing that happens if you have the flu. You just struggle to care for them through the illness.

Original poster

Lou573 · 04/03/2020 14:19

@Northernsoullover I think the problem here is that other people couldn’t come in to help if you’re in isolation.

OP posts:

DobbyTheHouseElk · 04/03/2020 14:22

This is something that’s worrying me. In normal circumstances you could ask people to help out, but if you are unwell with this virus I can’t see many jumping to help. Or they may too be self isolating.

sleepyhead · 04/03/2020 14:23

It's unlikely that you would need help. Nice to have, but not dangerous if you didn't.

Unfortunately lots of people just have to struggle through with looking after children if they feel rotten. Decamp to the sofa, stick on CBeebies, chuck all standards out the window until you feel better.

Roomba · 04/03/2020 14:23

It's not a very likely scenario, is it. But... A friend of mine is a single parent with no family in the UK. She was very ill and admitted to hospital - they had to contact social services due to no one being able to care for her toddler. Social Services placed her son in temporary foster care for a few days, until she was well enough to come home, and they helped organise a childcare place to help while she recuperated once home (this was a few years ago, so just going on what she told me afterwards).

I assume if you were genuinely unable to care for your DC something similar would happen? But the first people Social Services would contact to take your DC would be any suitable family anyway. Unless your family have serious reasons to refuse to care for them (going through chemo, other immunity issues, disability etc), would they really see them in temporary foster care than risk catching the virus themselves?

Noworrieshere · 04/03/2020 14:24

I reckon if one of us gets it we will just all stay at home together, there is no way we can isolate one member of the family within our home.

I'm counting on one of us being at the very least vaguely able to look after the kids. The chances of us both being in hospital or otherwise completely incapacitated at the same time have to be very very small.

I don't have a plan for that eventuality but by then maybe so many people around me will either have it / have had it / be living with someone who has it so maybe they could take another potentially infectious kid without increasing their own risk too much.

Lots and lots of cbeebies and sweeties and other things they are not usually allowed to entertain them. It would be shit but it would be okay.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 04/03/2020 14:26

I don’t have any family who would help, I don’t really have family. Apart from elderly DP’s. DH family are not any good, they aren’t nearby.

TheHagOnTheHill · 04/03/2020 14:30

The bigger question is what do you do if your parents get I'll as the illnes could cause more complications with them.Do you go in and help?

GameSetMatch · 04/03/2020 14:39

Me and my husband were really poorly last year, both running to the toilet and being sick all day and night, we had two boys aged 1 and 4 it was awful but we just got on with it. We had shifts in bed ordered some movies on sky and I have a box of toys that only come out when I’m poorly. You just get on with it, maybe you could buy a few new DVDs and a few second had toys just in case if you are really worried, only let them have them when you get poorly so they don’t get bored of them.

Purpleartichoke · 04/03/2020 14:40

Really, so many of us have had to parent through severe illness. What is really bad is when your child is sick too so they need extra help.

LondonUnited · 04/03/2020 14:44

DH and I both had what I believe was swine flu at the same time (not confirmed but it was during the pandemic and the symptoms matched).

I was pregnant and we also had a 9mo. It was really awful but we just had to muddle through, taking it in turns in bed. Didn’t want to risk anyone else catching it. Obviously it is different if you are hospitalised but unlikely that you would both be at the same time.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 04/03/2020 14:44

Even in an outbreak scenario, not everyone will get the illness. Even if you do, 80% of people get a mild version - and the majority of the severe cases are among people who are over 60 and/or with underlying health conditions.

The chance of you both being ill to the point of being unable to care for the children at the same time is absolutely tiny.

Yummymummy2020 · 04/03/2020 14:45

I hadn’t thought into this until you said it but I’d expect you wouldn’t both be severely ill and in hospital at the same time unless you were super unlucky or both in a high risk group as such. But you raise a good point, if that did happen, it would be a tricky situation for sure!

grizzlysky · 04/03/2020 14:47

the chances of you both being hospitalised at the same time is very slim

PeterPanGoesWrong · 04/03/2020 14:59

What would happen if you and Dh were struck down with regular flu, or a bus or hospitalised due to any other accident?

Talk to anyone you can trust with your children, be they near or far, friends or family. Rope them in to help, you obviously do the same with their kids if they get ill.
What do you suppose will happen to single parents? Any people who live alone? Old people?

Make plans now.

Skyejuly · 04/03/2020 15:02

Mine would have to be feral for a day or 2 in worst case scenario. But I have been a sick and single parent before just getting by each hour doing bare minimum and crawling around the house lol x

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