Please give me advice on getting pregnant

[waterloo51]

Hi Ladies,

Im new to mumsnet and have finally worked up the courage to post my problem. My husband and I have been trying to concieve now for a year and its just not happening. I have went to my GP and the ball is now rolling on getting to the bottom of my problem. I havent spoken with anyone about this only my husband and I just need advice and guidance of people who are in the same situation or have went through it in the past.
I feel better already getting it off my chest xx

Hi waterloo,

I'm no exspert but amd pregnant with dc3 so i will share all i do know.

Take vitamins, i personally take pregnancare.

sex every other day untill you get a poitive on your ovulation stick then everyday after that for about 5 days.

After sex bum in the air for about 15 mins of you can avoid weeing etc.

i would say night sex was the best then you are lying all night so better chance for the sperm.

Also i heard drink 1 small glass of pineapple juice a day UTILL you ovulate then stop, i did this was told its helps with implatation.

its so hard trying not to stress about it, and no matter what anyone sais you will but if for 1 month only you can think ok ill take abreak or something and try not to think about it, it will prob happen then.

good luck, hope that helps like i said im no exspert at all just what we did.

x

Agree with xkatyx - ovulation tests are essential. Also very cheap from the homehealth web site. Sex can become a little bit tiresome if you're at it every day trying to conceive, which isn't helpful!! With ov tests, you know when your fertile window is so you can really go for it.

Also, apparently orgasms help as the contracting muscles help push the sperm upwards. So make sure it's all about you!!

I had the free trial on the fertilityfriend website to get a really good feel for my cycle through charting my temperature each day. I also used the ovulation sticks (which you can get cheaply on Ebay and worked perfectly well). I bought cheap pregnancy tests on there too so that you are not paying massively each month for disappointments. Then bought an expensive one to confirm the positive result.

I also went for acupuncture. A friend told me that people having IVF have a greater success rate when having acupuncture so I thought it was a good idea to try it even though I wasn't having IVF. In 5 weeks I was pregnant!

I'm not sure I agree with the masses of sex idea (though I'm not an expert). I understood that it is better to target the fertile time (once you use the tests to find it). You wouldn't want 'old' sperm though so have a go the day before you are likely to ovulate to get rid of the older ones and restock!
Sorry if this all sounds a bit blunt,as you sound like a private person, but I'm afraid after having tried and then having two children, one's dignity has completely gone and it's all about the biology! Good luck. Do let us know how you get on or if we can help anymore.

xkathyx, Lolaknickers and Bethylou, thank you all so much so your advice. Finally I can spaek to people who can relate to what im going through I tried the ovulation tests last month but they came up negative should I be doing them at a particular time?

I think you start them at day 10 (depending on your cycle) and then at the SAME TIME each day until they go positive. You need a strong line, as thick and dark as the control line, for a positive result (unlike pregnancy tests where even the faintest line means positice). There's no harm starting them quite early (if you get the cheapy internet ones - they're just as good), just so you catch it in case you ovulate early.

Once you get a dark thick line it means you are positive for a surge of LH and that you will ovulate in the next 24-36 hours.

I'd say if you don't get a result for the LH surge next month, go to your GP to see why you aren't ovulating.

What has worked for us is sex three times a day from last day of period until about day 20 (by which point it's actually quite nice to 'just cuddle'... DH rather enjoys this strategy!!!

oooh and find a fertility reflexologist too - they can do wonders...

knitter - I'm impressed at three times a day for twenty days!!!

My advice to waterloo is to consider charting, as bethy said. OPKs will give you an idea of when ovulation might happen (but I have to tell you there are lots of people who think they're a total waste of time), but charting will familiarise yourself with your body and cycles so you know exactly when to start using ovulation tests, and you will also have an idea (if you don't get a +'ve) of when to SWI anyway ... and charting will confirm for you whether you did in fact ovulate in that month. If you've been trying for a year and seeking help, it's also useful to be able to take charts with you to the docs. To give you an idea, here are my charts on Fertility Friend. I use a Clearblue Fertility Monitor (which I recommend) instead of sticks, and you can see where the peaks (+'ves) correlate with temperature shifts. It's still too early to see if I did ovulate this month.

The other thing I'd say is its not all you. Your DH needs to do things to make sure his sperm is OK and it might be worth getting him to start taking vitamins for men. (My Dh was advised by a nutritionist to take these). Too much booze has had a proven effect on the quality of male sperm. Both of you, if you drink too much (as I certainly did) should consider 'sort-of' stopping or totally stopping. I no longer drink at home but will have a drink (if I am in first stage of my cycle) with friends out for meals etc which amounts to maybe a couple of glasses 1-2 a month.

Also with male sperm - knitters impressive approach could be derimental if your DH has a low sperm count. Unless you KNOW his sperm is OK, avoid being too intenisve until you've had more chat with a doctor. But it is known now that regular sex can improve male fertility so every second day is not a bad thing, or even once a day. However, if as a couple you are anything like my DH and I, even every 2nd day can get hard going with work and stress. DH is therefore under instruction to - ahem - masturbate on occasions we can't do it. That way his sperm is constantly replenishing itself and we have 'fresh' sperm on the days that really count.

(My DH had less than perfect sperm results so this is why I'm telling you this side of things).

Finally factor in TIME to everything you do - I'm nearly 40 so time is a BIG deal to me. It takes about 3 months for male sperm to mature from start to end, so if your DH offers to stop drinking/smoking (hypothetically) in one month's time, you'll only reap the benefits in four months time. It also takes several months before good diet and nutritional supplements kick in too - and of course, months of NHS waiting time for tests and appointments. Because of what I've been through, I suggest you really line up your ducks and do loads so you can get going as quickly as possible.

Very happy to talk through more of this with you if you want. x

It has to be said that the (now patented) 3-times a day aproach makes you end up feeling a bit awash with the little wrigglers but I suppose that's what you want....

With sperm you want quantity going in so that the quality (i.e. the one best able to wriggle it's way up to your egg) can exert itself...

Sex frequently but not timed. Eat foods rich in vits . Nuts n seeds. Accupuncture. Exercise.

Get dh to take a zinc supplement. Cut out ALL caffeine.

I've been strongly advised frequent sex but not timed paticularlybto ov but I think jury is out on that.

Hi - I couldn't get a positive result with an ovulation kit. I read loads on here about how they can be unreliable and I wanted to believe it but unfortunately a blood test that my GP organised has also come back indicating no ovulation. I've now got a referral to a fertility clinic and my OH is signed up to do a semen test. TBH I was a bit shocked when I got the blood test result back but I'm glad that I went to the GP and feel positive about the referral. Good luck to you.

Well I have irregular cycles and couldnt bothered with the faff / expense of ov tests. We had sex every other day pretty much from the end of my period until the start of the next. It was strictly every other day too conceive ds (5 or 6months) and was about 3 times a week usually to conceive this time (7 months)

gd luck

Ovulation tests don't need to be expensive - home health sell them in various pack sizes, but the biggest one contains 75 tests and is only £11.20. They would be very expensive if you bought the overpriced clear blue etc ones from Boots!

I think they are also a useful aid as to whether you are actually ovulating - if not it saves months or years of waiting before being referred for fertility treatment.