Agghhhh - I have no patience!

[Brewster]

So.... we are trying for our 2nd baby and I have very irregular periods since coming off the pills.
I think I know when I was ovulating so we did it lots and the other week I had terrible tummy cramps which I am so hoping was implatation cramps.
If we go by what happened last month period wise then I am due nowish.
I have done 4 tests in the 2 weeks and all negative.
With my last pregnancy I had a neg test and a week laster a positive one so I know that I just need to wait a bit longer to test again but I am soooo impatient and want to know NOW!!
I have weird feelings like the tummy cramps, nausea every now and then, other times very hungry, weak every now and then, lethaagic and I am sure my tummy looks different (?) but I just dunno.....
I have mild fibromyalgia so most of those symptoms could be explained away with that.

Help....I know I need to stop doing the tests. Aside form getting me down it is a waste of money!

I cant really talk to anyone about all this as not that close to any of my friends, Mum doesnt know for sure we are trying at the moment and it gets hubby down a bit if I keep tellinghim I have neg tests and just tells me to wait (which I should!).

xx

I have no patience. I've spent 18 years trying NOT to be pregnant and now I've decided that I want a bloody baby I want one NOW!!! DH is so laid back about it all and my friends are mostly single so can't talk to them. it's breaking me!!

I know.... the one friend I would want to talk to has had loads of miscarriages and wants a baby herself so I cant be insensitive and talk to her about it all. most of my other friends are pregnant at the moment so dont feel can talk to them and we arent that close anyway.

aggghh - so annoying have to wait so long to find out and then have to try a whole month before can find out again each time!!!

Good luck to you
xx

Brewster,

If you have very irregular periods it is unfortunately unlikely you are ovulating regularly if at all. You need to seek medical advice sooner rather than later.

What the pill can do in these cases is mask symptoms of an underlying hormonal problem (which the pill did not cause).

Blood tests can be done to see what your homrone levels are like (common causes of irregular periods include polycystic ovaries and problems with the thyroid gland).

Do not keep testing if you see a negative result; seeing repeated negs can be very disheartening. Do not tell anyone within family either you are ttc.

It is in your interests to find out exactly why your periods are irregular. Do not be fobbed off with platitudes, seek proper answers.

Hi Brewster.
As a lady who also spent 15 years avoiding getting pregnant I am now five years into tryign to conceive baby number 1. I've been told I have uneplained infertility (sometimes also referred to as unexplained subfertility). I think I've had most of the tests going. I did have a large uterine fibroid removed from my womb in March 2004 which has apparently left some scarring on the wall of the womb. This scarring seems to me to be the reason I don't conceive. I have regular periods and my husband's sperm count is normal and motility is also normal. I am 36 years old and personally I would rather my close female friends and relatives know because they are less likely to presume that you just don't want children. On Saturday my good friend asked me how i was and i told her I'd just argued with my husband about something petty. I lost my temper because he was going on and on about the fact that I had almost let a white van man run his van into me when I was reversing onto our driveway. The van driver was doing about 45 mph in a short side road, where i live and it was him who was in the wrong but it was apparently my fault that he nearly ran into our car. Anyway, He wouldn't let it drop and I lost my temper and inadvertently grabbed the shopping from the kitchen worktop and threw it on the kitchen floor at his feet. you could say I saw red mist and flipped out. Unfortunately one of the thinsg i grabbed was a glass jar of tomato pasta so it smashed on the floor and boy did it make a mess. He shouted at me for throwing it on the floor and then stormed off upstairs. It took me almost an hour to pick up the glass ans clean everywhere the sauce flew! That stuff really flies let me tell you. Anyway, what I want to say is that trying to conceive is horrible for the woman. The man just doesn't FEEL IT like us. We've been through three IVF cycles together but it's the woman who injects herself with drugs and hormones every day and feels the side effects. My husband doesn't believe me that hormones do things to your brain that are not controllable. If you are tearful then you just are. If you are feeling sad then you just are. If you keep seeing nappy and baby milk/food adverts and you find yourself wondering why the whole world seems to reproduce like rabbits and you can't then yes that does make you feel like a failure and him telling you you're being stupid for being tearful doesn't help.

I don't advocate testing every day as sooner or later you'll know one way or the other. Believe me the money I've spent on OP Kits and pregnancy tests could have been better spent. I'm now waiting (and still trying to conceive naturally) for my fourth IVF attempt. They are expensive. The first three were NHS funded. Make enquiries of your GP and local Primary Care Trust to find out where you can get some blood tests done on your next cycle (if this one hasn't worked) to check the hormone levels on Day 2/3 and again on Day 20. This is very simple and your GP may need to refer you to your local NHS fertility unit/hospital. As someone has already said don't delay and don't be fobbed off. If and only if there's something not quite right the sooner it's noticed the better for you and your DH/DP. Good luck my dear.

Attila - why shouldnt I tell for instance my Mum that we are ttc?

This same irregulatrity happened iwth my last pregnancy - I have a very good private gynae who I saw last time and just as he was about to prescibe blood tests and drugs he had a look and said i was ovulting right then so off I went home and hey presto - prgnant!

I have so many odd twinges etc in my tummy but I just dunno what to think - I am so impatient but have to wait till sunday to do the next test.
Today wa svery hard for me as two of my friends are pregnant and it was just teh thre off us out with out children and they spent the whole time talking pregnancy and scans etc - very depressing for me!

Hey Brewster Any news ? Hope you're ok.

I got AF today so roll on next month for me and DH. Try again...

It is hard being with friends with young babies. I'm sure they want the baby to come along for you just as much as you. Most people have tact and they tread carefully. It's natural that they will be proud of their new baby as will you in the near future. Look for some fertility books on amazon.co.uk There are usually second hand books for half the price which means you can buy twice as many. might not help me/you conceive but it occupies the brain.

Hey,

Got my period today!!
Oh well.
At least things have become a bit more regular in that department so that is encourging.
Going to get those ovulation sticks now.

No one knows we are trying to get pregnant so can only discuss it with my husband.

Good luck to you
x

Good Book by Michael Dooley is Fit for Fertility

Soooo.. turns out it wasnt realy my period. I keep just sorta spotting.
Aggghhh - it isor isnt it???

Hubby says need to wait notehr 2 weeeks to do a test but my goodness I cant keep waiting but I keep gettig negative tests!

I keep getting these weird twinges very low down like I did later on in my firts pregnancy and other symptoms but still teh stipid neg tests!!

Hurry up 2 weeks!!!

Fingers crossed for you Brewster - any news?

Bloody period came sunday night!!

We havebought a fertility monitor though so will start using that asap and finger scrossed for next 2 cycles!

what about you sunshine? any progress? got a plan?
xx

brewster Sad that you didn't get the result you wanted this month. What does the fertility monitor do? I don't think I've heard of them.

I'm an emotional wreck at the moment. I recently watched the film Marley & me and cried near the end (because the dog had to be put to sleep in the film) and this morning when i realised we'd run out of tea bags i got all tearful. This is horrible. I get choked up very easily when i'm upset and my DH says i cry too easily and that I show my emotions too much. How do I stop myself welling up?

I am having a hard time at home at the moment. My DH wants to do all the DIY and electrics and plumbing etc himself but none of it really ends up getting done. So I'm permanently waiting for a baby and permanently waiting for a DIY job to get half finished. There must be more to life than this. My job is ok but I need to bring in more work so that I bill more each month and prove to my bosses that I am still worth while having here. I am trying to bring in more work but it takes time to establish contacts with people who would need to refer work to you and then you have to prove that you can do the job efficiently so that they continue referring you. A job/case can take 3-4 months from start to finish. I want to work hard and try to reach the target set for me so that I can feel more secure in my job.

congrats Penguin - i don't think i'd remembered to say it before. You must be thrilled. Had you been trying for long? apologies for not knowing your history.

Not really got a plan - started reading loads about it all when I first came off the pill, did temperature tests and fertility testing etc but then I was away working for a couple of weeks and it's all sort of gone out the window. Am trying a more relaxed approach this month!!

KC11 - sounds like you are one stressed out bunny which can't help. Have you tried talking to your DH about how upset you feel?

Brewster - any ideas / what's your approach?

KC11 I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I think Sunshine is right - you need to talk to your hubby.
If you cant talk to him about how hard you are finding things now then you will have problems once a baby does arrive.

A fertility monitor is a little device that basically plots you entire cycle (you pee on sticks when it tells you to ) and it will tell you your 5 most fertile days. so that is the few days leading up to ovulation as well as ovulation.
It is supposed to increase your chances by 87%!!
Just started using it but I am hopeful.
Better than ovulation sticks as they just give you the day you are ovulating.

They are expensive but cheaper on amazon!
xx

Hey Brewster. Thanks for the info on fertility monitors. I've learnt something today. On the DH front I had a bit of a heart to heart with DH and told him that I know he's involved too but his body doesn't crave the preganancy like mine does. He said he would try to be more aware of how i feel. It doesn't help matters that his sister is nearly 7 months PG and she's leaning on him for moral support as it was not planned and could be better in the financial department. He's putting money aside for her to give her when the baby is borne, which is a nice thing to do. I admitted to him that a brave face is sometimes very hard to find when your tears just have a life of their own. the trouble is that even talking about the upset upsets me! He like many men is not very emotional. He's not romantic and he never treats me to a little treat just because he wants to make me feel special. I have very high expectations of myself and of him. It's not surprising that he doesn't live up to them. We're like chalk and cheese but we've been married 10 years nearly so something must cement our relationship.

I used an OP kit this month and got the LH surge when i expected to so here's hopinh that 31st July does not bring AF. I am ever hopeful.

Does anyone know if mild dehydration causes problems for implantation of an embryo? does that make sense?

brewseter and kc11 So sorry to hear all you're going through. If you're using the CBFM (clearblue fertility monitor', come join us on this thread. kc11 I really felt your misery. I might be embarking on my first round of IVF soon but will have to go private because of my age. I've been feeling so miserable about feeling as if most of the pressure is on me. It seems so unfair.

hiya, can i join your thread please? the other ones are so long and dont feel i can join them as i dont 'know' the other people on there and feel like i am barging it.

dh and me are ttc no.2. well its been 2 weeks thats all and i think i missed the slot to ttc and AF came yesterday. i know its stupid to expect to get pg in that time, but was quite dissapointed.

i am at work at the mo, but can post more, later.

Hi Lizandlulu,

I am worried I ahve missed the right time too - agghh..all this waiting and wondering!

Good luck

i know, like someone has said, you spend your whole pre married life not getting pregnant, then when you do finally want a baby, it dont happen! it took 6 months to get pregnant with dd, although i came off the pill and started trying straight away so spose we had to wait for the pill to work its way out my system.

but at school we have it drummed into us that unprotected sex results in pregnancy. i have been off the pill for nearly 2 years now as we were ment to be ttc a while ago, but certain things stopped us from trying, then i couldnt bring myslef to try for another cause of all the hard work! but reasoned i have got to do it sooner rather than later, so here we are!! think i have got totally mad for trying for another

I totally am in the same boat Liz!!
all the hard work and how do you cope with 2 .
To be honest I find babies a bit boring but I want another 18month plus toddler you know?

i want a big family but the fisrt year and a bit are soo difficult and the whole stress about getting pregant!!

I have to go see my gynae tomorrow as have
encounter some problems that are causing us all a bit of concern so ...fingers crossed!
x

hope you get the news you want to hear tomorrow brewster, hope everything is ok.

i am the opposite to you really, i want the baby, but not the toddler!! babies are easier i think although as sure i didnt think that at the time and i am sure my memory is cloudy!

well... had to see my gynae today and seems I may have either endometritis or an ovarian cyst!

Gotta have a load of tests ....watch this space!!