Feeling very old and down

[Prinpo]

I was 39 yesterday and AF turned up this morning. So, we'll shortly be starting cycle 7 of ttc. I had 2 mcs last year, each time took quite a while to conceive (10 months and 5 months). I feel as though we've been trying for this baby for a very long time now - over two years - and turning 39 has really made me think that perhaps it's just not going to happen.

I'm feeling very, very down about the whole thing. Life has been ticking along for a while with me trying my best to be patient and positive but all of a sudden I'm starting to think that perhaps it's just not going to happen.

Bugger bugger bugger. Sorry, ladies, I just needed to have a good old rant and feel a bit sorry for myself.

Prinpo

Would you now consider seeking medical advice from the GP with a view to getting a referral to a gynae?. Ideally you should have a referral to such a person to discuss this further. At this stage it is likely there is a problem with either one or both of you equally which is currently preventing conception.

Attila, I've thought about going to GP but I've wanted to avoid going down that route as I see it as just a natural consequence of my age. Why do you think that it's likely that there's a specific problem, other than age?

Hope that doesn't sound confrontational , I'm just wondering if there's information that I haven't come across.

It may be age but equally it may not and there could well be a problem with either one or both of you. You still have time on your side at 39 but would not unduly delay a visit to the GP.

cross posted.

No you did not sound at all confrontational; I think you just want to know why. This may not be applicable to you but for instance if the nature of periods change this is always worth a visit to the GP.

Have you had any tests? a simple blood test could just ascertain if you were ovulating every month. I had DC1 at 30. 9 years later TTC for a year and nothing happened. Turns out from a blood test and then a scan that i had developed polycystic ovaries and wasnt ovulating every month. I was prescribed clomid and conceived the next month. I have since had 3 DC in my early 40s. Don't give up hope yet.Visit GP and ask some questions.
Good Luck

Hi Prinpo just wanted to support what your other two posters had said about going to the doctor.

It is worth getting everything checked out.

I know someone who miscarried due to diabeties, now her diabeties is under control she is doing fine. It is prbably NOTHING like that but it just shows that fertility problems can be connected to other things and at least the GP can check things or refer you on to get them checked.

I know how you feel, it is not nice to have to go down this route but if you need to then the sooner you get started the better, in terms of help, timings etc.

I have just posted this (below) to someone else, I hope it helps you.....

The fertility advice is to have sex every other day for as much of your cycle as you can and not just when you think you are ovulating. Also, the sp8rm is stronger when hubby fancies sex so if he is a morning person go with it, if you can, because his swimmers will be at their peak when he initiates it all! I would also say, after years of fertility treatment and a hubby who is keen for another child but not keen to 'know too much' that it really helps to keep it all about sex and not about trying to conceive! So if you can manage it, make it sexy and romantic and don't initiate anything with the words 'I think I'm ovulating' or 'this is a good time' or whatever! If you are looking into it from a medical point of view it will help DH to feel it is all still normal. I know my dh didn't want to know to much - but yours may be different!

All the very best.

Thank you all.

I have assumed that I'm ovulating every month as I get EWCM and ov pain. I don't do opks as they haven't been much use in the past (used one once and it didn't show ovulation yet I got BFP that month).

When I had a scan for my last mc they said that there were some cysts on my ovaries but that they were nothing to worry about. Perhaps I need to ask for a bit more information about that.

I think I've been avoiding going to the GP as I don't want to go down an intervention route and I'm sure she'll just tell me to lose weight (which is fair comment). Also, we have two dc already so, presumably, there's nothing fundamentally wrong. That said, perhaps with age we need a bit of tweaking for it to happen.

OK, I'm convinced. Thanks for talking me into it. Will 'phone for an appointment tomorrow.

Does your mucus visibly change when you think you're ovulating? getting thicker, stickier and more stretchy? some months i dont see any change and i now know those are the months i dont ovulate.I started off with a couple of cysts on each ovary. Now i have loads. They dont mean i cant ovulate but i'm not doing so monthly.
My other tip TTC is to make sure you orgasm after DP to give his little swimmers a better start on their long journey!

Mucus definitely changes - pretty much nothing, then noticeable for about 5 days (stretchy), then I get ov pain and then it clears up within 24-48 hours.

We've had lots of months where I know we've had SWI at the right time (ie in the few days building up to ov, then on the day of ov itself), I've remained horizontal afterwards, have had an orgasm after DH, the full shebang but still nada.

Italian, you're absolutely right about it being better if DH doesn't know when it's 'the time'. The male ego, I have found, is a delicate and fragile thing and if he thinks I'm jumping his bones for anything less than pure lust then it really puts him off.

I would apologise for TMI on everything from mucus to my sex life but I know that on the conception boards pretty much nothing is out of bounds .

Hi Prinpo,

Sorry to hear you're having problems. I totally agree with the others advice, you should definately go to the doctors. I had a cyst on my right ovary, and after having a laparoscopy they found that I had endometriosis - it was an endometrial cyst. Endo can't be seen via a scan so can be difficult to be certain about. I was convinced I wouldn't have it, but was wrong. I conceived the cycle after the lap.
Also, just re-read your last post, I was having OV pains, stretchy CM, orgasms at the right time etc, and we didn't have any luck while the endo was still rife. I got really down about it, convinced it would never happen, and it was a relief in a way to find out there was a reason for it.

Wishing you lots of luck, and try to make sure you get your GP to refer you to someone specialised, rather than just poopoo you away. Please let us know how you get on!