my first ever post

[sheenbeen]

so please bear with me for not knowing all the abbreviations...

for 10 years my hubby has said he didn't want children and I felt the same. I fell pregnant accidentally a few months before we got married - 3 years ago this month but miscarried and it seemed to make us more determined that we didn't want to go down that road...you can sense a but coming on can't you on and off over those years I have had various broody moments but they've always passed...except for this last one which has been here for 6 months or so.

I had a chat with hubby last week and explained how I was feeling, that I knew 10 years down the line when it was too late I would regret never having at least tried and to my surprise after a couple of days of thinking he agreed.

Now I'm in panic mode, I'm 38 and it could well be too late already, I've been on Depo for just over a year and I've read all the reports that say it can take forever for your system to completely clear and your hormones to return to normal and I'm now kicking myself for leaving it too long

I suppose I'm really wondering if anyone has a similar story to mine and for a few encouraging words.

oh, and hello

Hi sheenbeen!

No personal experience of Depo or ttc in my 30's (I'm dead keen and got down to it at 24... I'm sure I'll be told I'm wasting my youth!) but there's a thread on here titled "Who's the oldest one to conceive?" and there are loads of mums having babies at 46 etc so be hopeful .

I think the guidance is to see your GP after 6 months ttc at age 35+ for initial tests.

It would be a good idea to keep track of your cycles to see if they are regular, of usual length etc to either reassure you or give you the info you need to enable you to seek help asap if there are issues.

Hope it happens quickly for you.

Thanks for the welcome spilt Have a good old browse through the threads here and there's lots of useful information.

I suppose there's no point getting too hung up until the Depo starts to wear off

The fertility advice is to have sex every other day for as much of your cycle as you can and not just when you think you are ovulating. Also, the sp8rm is stronger when hubby fancies sex so if he is a morning person go with it, if you can, because his swimmers will be at their peak when he initiates it all! I would also say, after years of fertility treatment and a hubby who is keen for another child but not keen to 'know too much' that it really helps to keep it all about sex and not able trying to conceive! So if you can manage it make it sexy and romantic and don't initiate anything with the words 'I thinkI'm ovulating' or 'this is a good time' or whatever!

All the best, it is not too late, you are still young.

Blessings for this exciting time.

good advice Italian - thanks

And chart! Chart chart chart! Willl tell you lots!

I was on Depo for years....decided on TTC when I was mid thirties. My periods returned after a couple of months and I was pregnant a couple of months after that. Good luck!!

ooh, that's good to know Pinner, I was only on it for just over a year and prior to that had 4 years nearly on just condoms so here's hoping.

Chart? I'm guessing you mean chart my cycle....unfortunately I've had nothing yet so nothing to chart

My friend was on depo for years and got preg at 35 in about a month ! She thought it waould take longer and was shocked - and over moon!

Good luck

hi sheenbeen, and welcome to mumsnet (MN). I started trying to conceive (TTC) when I was 38 and have managed to achieve big fat positives (BFPs) twice. Unfortunately I've had two miscarriages, but that's just my bad luck and not necessarily going to happen to you!

The one thing I wish I'd been told at the outset is to not be too meek in the face of the NHS. I had expectations I would be guided and advised, and really, it's important that you know that it's up to you to push and shove and insist you get what you need. It took me a while to understand that (I'm not British, so didn't know) and so many delays and waiting as a result.

The time it takes your Depo to clear gives you a solid space to line up your ducks and get things ready for full on TTC.

I suggest you go to your GP now and ask about how long it takes to get depo out of your system, and while there get any basic tests out the way. e.g. an up to date smear test and possibly rubella if you haven't had one already, and anything else the GP says you might need. My smear test happened after the 'Jade Goody' impact and took me 3 months to get the result (during which time I was told not to TTC) and I wasn't immune to rubella so had to wait more months after the vaccine - so it might be good to get this done while waiting for depo to clear your system. I was kicking myself over those delays.

I echo silver - charting is really really useful to know your body (although it took me a while to get my head around the discipline of it). I also use a Clearblue Fertility Monitor (CBFM) - both my two BFPs happened using that.

Very very important, especially at our age, is make sure you're taking folic acid every day. The sooner you start the better - give your body time to build it up before you get PG.

With hindsight, I also wish I'd gone to see a nutritionist at the very beginning to get advice on vitamins and supplements. And I wish I'd been better about exercise and felt properly healthy. (But I think I only think that way because I've had bad luck and wonder if my previous sloth-like ways contributed to it).

Hope this helps and doesn't intimidate - it's just a few things I wish I'd know when I'd started out . Also, MN is a brilliant place for real-life honest advice.

A slight hijack but v good news about the depo-mine runs out next week and was feeling a bit down (never google!) that I'd ruined my chances by having the injection. Good luck OP - have fun trying ;)