Trying For First Baby At 34 - Advice Please

[SadSam]

Hiya, I wonder if anyone can give me any advice. I am 34 and have no children of my own but live with my DP who has 3 from a previous relationship. I have finally persuaded DP that I would love a child of my own and we have decided to start trying. I have been on the pill for 13 years and just wondered if anyone can help with where do we start? Does it take a certain amount of time to conceive when you have been on the pill for so long? Do I need to wait for a while before coming off of it? Is there anything that I should know at my age? Also, although any healthy child would be great, I would desperately love a girl. Mainly because DP's youngest son is very clingy and possessive and I think us having a baby would not hit him so hard if we had a girl. DP would also like a girl as he has 2 boys and a girl but the girl is a real mummy's girl and doesnt have a lot of time for daddy! Any advice you could give would be greatfully appreciated by a total novice!

Just start having sex. Lots of it!

Wouldn't worry about your age - 34 is not old. Don't know about trying for a boy or girl - supposedly sex before ovulation = boy, at and after = girl.
Or is it the other way round? Anyway, wouldn't set your heart on a particular sex if you can help it. You'll love whoever you get and a girl wouldn't guarantee less problems.

I was 35 when I was TTC for the first time, and we wanted to "get on with it" so to speak!

I found the ovulation test kits (think mine were clearblue) really helpful as the times I was ovulating were quite different from the times I would have expected from what I had read.

You may not feel you need to bother with the kits, but just thought I'd post in case you might be interested.

You need to start taking folic Acid or vitamins specially for conception pregnancy and after. This reduces risk of spina bifida. It can sometimes take a while for your cycle to settle down after coming off pill, so i would come off straight away. There are a few TTC threads going that might be helpful to you.

Good luck

Tinker, it's the other way around re boy/girl thing.

My husband reckoned that if you lie on your right side after doing the business you'll have a girl! He may be wrong (duh!) although I have two boys and was certainly pissed the first time but he says he ensured I was left side as he already had two girls. Olden day stuff! And 34 definitely isn't old. There's millions of us oldster mums around these days.

Um, have sex. There is not other trick to getting pregnant, really. As for girls and boys, you pretty much get what you are given. Good luck. Bet you get pregnant really quickly!
Oh, and you just stop taking the pill and have sex - no waiting.

Oh, yes, start taking folic acid asap - or a pregnancy multivitamin like Pregnacare.

I was 36 when had dd my first!!

your not old at all

good luck
xx

Thank you all so much for your help and advice, very greatly appreciated!!! I will let you all know how I get on

Hi SadSam your age is fine honestly. There is a 16 week test during pregnancy that is on offer for your risk of downs syndrome and also tests for something else but cannot remember and you can take this if you want. Not sure about the pill, I have heard you have to give it a year before you are fertile again after coming off the pill, but everyone is different and you could come off it and fall pregnant straight away it all depends on your body. For a girl well I have heard making love a few days before your ovulation is the best time for a girl. Most of all, try not to worry about it so much, maybe go and see your doctor/local midwife and ask their advice, and above all enjoy trying to make your baby........good luck

Hiya SadSam, you and I are in a very similar situation, in that I am about to start TTC my first, and I too am 34. I've been on the Pill for about 10 or 11 years I think. My progress is being hampered by the NHS - I was behind with my smear tests, so like a good girl I went to get tested before TTC. The nurse advised me to wait for my results before starting, as if there were any abnormalities they could be addressed, but not if I were pregnant. I am still waiting for my results to come back before starting to try for a baby - 6 weeks waiting, and counting.

If you're planning to have a baby, start taking folid acid daily now. 400mg per day is recommended - you can get this in Boots and similar places. This will reduce the risk of Spina Biffida and other tube defects. I've read things that say you should take this for 3 months before getting pregnant, and other sources say you get benefit even taking it for just a month before getting pregnant.

The doctors will recommend that you wait for one natural period after coming off the Pill before you start TTC. The only reason I can find for this is that it makes calculating your due date easier, so I never saw any real benefit from doing this. Had it not been for my smear, I'd have been trying from the first opportunity

Coming off the Pill is interesting. I came off in July, and I have been watching my cycle carefully by charting my temperatures on fertilityfriend.com. My first cycle off the Pill was short (23 days ish), and I ovulated late (somewhere around 18 days). This cycle my ovulation was better (about day 13), still waiting for AF to see my cycle length. It looks like its going to take me a few months for my cycle to settle down. It all varies - some people get pregnant the month they stop, others take a few months or longer.

About the boy or girl thing - apparently boy sperm swim faster, but girl sperm live longer. So if you have sex right near ovulation, it's more likely to be a boy, whereas sex a few days before ovulation will probably give a girl. As with all things there are no guarantees of course

Hope this all helps,
Hugs,
Artoo.

Hi SadSam, 1st time I came off the pill it took 4 months with taking my temp every morning for the last 2 months to get preg.

I went to see the doctor before coming off the pill and was told I had to get my German Measles immunity checked out first (3mths before start trying) incase I needed a booster!! Don't know if you have been told that. Then the folic acid taken before start trying.

Apart from that on the 21 day on 7 day off pill you have to take the pill till the end of the pack and then stop.

Hope this helps, good luck . I'm counting down to ttc in November, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to butt in, but I have heard that you can be extremely fertile immediately after you come off the pill - one of my friends took advantage of this, and got pregnant twice straight away. I wish I had known about it ...

I had my first (but dp's 3rd) at 34. Had also been on the pill for years. Had come off it a few months previously and we got preg soon after we started trying. I went to the Dr and his only advice was to have lots of sex! He said to not fuss around dates etc, just have lots of sex. He wasn't wrong!

Not sure about the gender issue. I wanted a boy as dp had 2 girls but we didn't set out to do that. I think there will always be issues regardless of the gender. We had a really hard time from dp's dd2 who was 16 when I was pregnant, but she absolutely adores her baby brother now. They may surprise you.

Don't worry about your age. The cut off point for all the tests and medical people worrying is 35 so you will escape all of that. There are thousands of women who have had babies much older than us.

Very best of luck to you and I look forward to hearing about how you get on!!