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Conception

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the difference between 2 and 3 children....

6 replies

missytequila · 14/06/2010 16:43

my husband and I seem in agreement on ttc number two right now.. but I am keen on having three children.

three children seems to get him upset as all he can think of is the costs.. i too worry about the financial implications, and also that it would probably mean me not returning to work for a long period and hence more pressure on him to make money..

has anyone else made the jump from 2 to 3? how did it change things? was money an issue?

anyone else in this debate?

OP posts:
rainbowdays · 14/06/2010 17:57

I have 3dc. It is harder having 3 for several reasons. Some examples of things that have become much more difficult now we have 3 children:

Going swimming - it is hard taking two children by yourself, but virtually impossible to do safely with three small children.

Going to the park/playground. - watching two children is ok, you can position yourself so that both are in line of site, but with three, it is inevitable that one goes out of line of site when they all go off in different directions. It was only when the third child was mobile that I found that out.

Hotels and package holidays - all cater for two adults two children. Fine when the smallest is a baby, you can use a cot, but then once they are out of a cot, the cost of going to a hotel is extreme as you need to book two rooms rather than getting away with one. We never did the holiday thing before, but occasionally do stay in a cheap hotel when on-route somewhere or at a wedding for example.

food Packets - (eg yoghurts etc) they come in 4's often.... (hence one reason I have decided to go for dc4!)

more childcare difficulties. Finding someone to look after two was never an issue, finding someone for 3 for babysitting overnight, not so easy.

childcare expenses if going back to work.

One big one..... CAR SEATS in car, many cars do not fit 3 car seats across the back. Many many people caught having to buy new smaller carseats or a bigger car.

OK so having given loads of reasons why not.... Yes I would never be without my mumber 3, he is fantastic, and now we are hoping for a number 4 child.

Really, it is a tough one. Every couple has to work out the best for them. I would never put money directly as a reason to not have another child, but there are plenty of other reasons.

I hope you work out what is best for you!

Loopymumsy · 14/06/2010 21:19

This reply has been deleted

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withorwithoutyou · 14/06/2010 21:21
princessdaisyboo · 14/06/2010 21:29

i was just about to post exactly the same question!! i have 4.5 dd from my first marriage and 18mo ds with my partner, he would like another and i think we will go for it nearer the end of the year, my partner is more keen than me, i think this is because I have to children but in a way he only has one, plus its me that does everything as he works long hours. Im in a quandry so im keen to see peoples pros and cons of having 3!!!

happynappies · 14/06/2010 21:53

Am pg with #3 - we really need a bigger house, and could do with bigger car, but will manage... Am sure our food bill will go up considerably, having to buy three pairs of shoes at a time, and once you have to pay for the youngest when you go to attractions like the zoo etc a day out will be very expensive, and eating out too... But on the whole these expenses can be managed - you could have two children and spend huge amounts on christmas and birthdays etc, or you could make the same amount stretch for four children if you know what I mean! We holiday in the UK in a rented cottage so don't have the room dilemma. Yes I'll be off work for longer, but in the big scheme of things, its a small amount of time compared to your whole working life. I'm from a family of 3 children, so didn't want to just have 2, really love having two siblings particularly now I'm older... I didn't want to get to old age and look back and regret not having more children. You can always make more money in some shape or form, but you can't always have children if that makes sense!

Jemz · 25/07/2010 19:04

thanks happynappies. i too dont want to look back in the future wondering what if and imagining 'the child we never had'. we are mostly worried about money (with another 17years left on the mortgage :-( )and a little about coping with 3 (have a 4yr old and 2 1/2 yr old), but as you said, you always seem 2 find ways 2 cope the money that you have, or get a 2nd job to get more.
another issue for us is that we live with my mum, she has the floor above us, so though we have seperate kitchens etc she would still hear baby crying. but i dont want to talk these thoughts through with her, as i'm sure with our 1st 2 she would have said "no" to us wanting them (though she loves them to bits and obviously enough to live with them). - i have 2 children, want a 3rd and am still scared of my mummy!!! i dont like any bad atmosphere in the house though.

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