Hi Red, sorry for the delay in replying.
I guess my situation is a little different. I was diagnosed with RA in my teens, so have been medicated for about half my life. By the time the decision to TTC came along, my condition was pretty much in hand. yes, pain and stiffness was part of every day life (I can't remember when it wasn't), but I was able to live a "normal" life. when not on maternity leave I work full-time, with some extended hours, keep house, walk the dog etc etc. Of course, I don't have a job that involves physical activity or participate in any sports or other active hobbies, but that's not a problem because the RA came before I made any big decisions about my adult life. I've never had to give anything up, so to speak.
Anyway, when I did come off the drugs, I was prepared for the worst. I was terrified that my body would fail and I would not be able to do my job. But I didn't suffer any more than before! I was amazed. I had three months to clear the drugs from my system, then three months TTC before I got pregnany, and all the while it was almost as if I was still DMARD medicated. The usual amount of disease activity, but nothing that got in my way.
It might just have been a good phase. Some would say it was a result of a positive mental attitude. I'm not sure I could have taken the decision to ditch the drugs if I hadn't been well, in RA terms, at the time.
I cannot advise you. But I do know that, looking back, I did have some level of remission from RA during pregnancy and for some weeks after. It is returning at the moment and I have spent the last week switching my baby to bottles of formula. My milk supply has nearly dried up - which means it's nearly time to go back on the drugs.
You can only do what you think you can cope with. I was fully expecting the worst - but not prepared for it. I had no plan for what I'd do if my arthritis became unbearable. When I did have the infection-related flare in pregnancy, I was a mess. I was signed off work and my boss was very understanding. But I'm not sure how that would have panned out had I been ill longer term and they knew it was because I had made a decision to run that risk. I doubt it would have gone down well.
TTC plans aside - you might find that the change of jobs is better for you anyway, long term? But then, I guess you have to weigh up the money thing - and also maternity leave etc. It might be better to stay somewhere where you have worked for longer.
I can see that you'd really like to have your baby before starting on the DMARDs, so wish you every bit of luck with getting pregnant. (although OPKs are the work of the devil!)
I used fertility friend to check temps and other signs. And had a great deal of support from the BESH thread - a group of women in their 30s, each with a personal TTC struggle (mine was ditching the drugs) and a wonderful black sense of humour that can raise a smile through even biggest floods of tears!
REMEMBER The most important thing is to try not to stress, as this can make your body worse.
I'm not sure there's anything that will help you in there. But if you want to vent, I am here. (not always finding it easy to reply though - both computer and child seem determined to get in my way!)