About to start trying at 39

[surrogateauntie]

Guess the subject line says it all. I've had a history of ovarian cysts (which means I have about a third of my right ovary remaining, the left one is A-okay thankfully!)I'm about 2 stone over weight and am working out regularly....any tips to a non mum on mumsnet?

i had a book called getting pregnant faster, absolutely fascistic about lifestyle, only managed it properly for about a month, but conceived three months later and am convinced that the egg i laid was all shipshape because of it (three month preparatory cycle for eggs, apparently). also pretty good for weightloss... i was 39 and a bit when dd was born.

also, there's a sperm friendly lubricant called preseed, helps the swimmers with the swimming, apparently. good luck

aww hope it goes well for you. I am trying at 38, and am on cycle 8 now (Grrrr). Took 6 months at 33 years old so thought it may take a while. Feel reaaly desperate now .

hope you get lucky first time. Loads of people do. They say they best bet is to bd every other day from start of cycle to finish to be on the safe side. I try that but sometimes lose interest at about day 20!

I got pg at 39 first time of trying. DS asleep upstairs. Tried again when he turned one, got pg first month again. Sadly had a MMC at 13 weeks. Have since had a second MMC. So still trying for #2, have just turned 42....

My advice would be have sex regularly but not on a schedule. Relax. Be aware of your cycle and the key criteria to conceive BUT try not to stress or obsess. Good luck x

surrogateauntie lots of luck. I had my dd at age 39 but we did end up having IUI after lots of investigations.

My advice is to echo what others have said, regular sex, ideally every 2 days, but try and not let your dh/dp know that you have this in mind as the men folk tend to feel a bit un-turned on by the prospect that 'we' are out for their essence! (Just speaking from personal experiece.)

I would recommend getting some Zita West books and/or tapes (I am sure you can borrow some from the library).

I have heard that good things about ?Taking Charge of Your Fertility? by Toni Weschler. I can?t really recommend this book as I have not read it but, as I say, I have heard good things about it.

I met Zita West briefly at the fertility show last November and she was very nice. I heard her speak in a seminar and one thing she said, which really stuck with me, is that men?s sperm is more ?fertile? at the time when they are really up for sex. In other words if they (dh/dp) fancy an early morning bit of lurve making, then probably their swimmers are fit at that time, so a good time to do it, if you want to.

I generally heard negative things about charting/temperature taking etc, although if you need to go to a clinic to look into assisted conception they may wish to know this type of information.

At your age I think you are recommended to seek help if you do not get anywhere within 6 months.

I would be very positive, try and get fit (hark at me telling you ? I am overweight!) and I would try and enjoy this time of trying!

One quick thing I would also say is that I have been doing this 'mindful eating' thing, where you eat slowly and thoughtfully. This helps me with my weight loss and I would recommend it, but I only found out about it by visiting a dietician for my irritable bowel.

Long post, apologies, all best wishes for your attempts, may they be fruitful!

Am feeling very humbled by the very helpful messages. Italiangreyhound, that was a long but incredibly informative reply - so huge thanks!
off to find some Zita West books tomorrow - to be hidden from other half so he's not put off!

Good luck! I'd also second the advice of seeking help early if you don't get pg - I went to my GP having had a mc and then been trying for about 10 months and was under 35 at the time and we were referred to assisted pregnancy unit straightaway - then got pg naturally just before the appointment
And an obvious one really - don't forget your folic acid.

me too - had 2 mcs and one ds. ttc no.2 at 39 . its not easy is it? i have started excercising to get my stress levels down.

want to hold hands?

I had my first mc aged 39 and conceived again straight after, without even a period in between. Despite expecting the worst, my baby is due on Tuesday. Please don't give up hope or faith: nobody was more convinced than me that I'd never get pg, and here I am. The best advice I can give is to believe it will happen - I know it's hard but I hope you read this and feel a bit cheered up. Me, I tried not to chart, obsess or have sex to some sort of schedule, but keep it relaxed. There are so many doom and gloom stories in the papers but it CAN HAPPEN and it will. Very best of luck.