Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 5 - all welcome

[Cerubina]

Time for a new thread as part 4 is now full!

This calls for a new packet of biscuits I think - I'll just throw out those horrible rice crackers someone left lying around...that's better.

Dueling that is amazing news, you are in great shape now for ET on Thursday. Are they planning to put back two?

Kiwi also great news that the blood test confirmed you were not seeing things! I know what you mean about milestones, there are so many little individual steps to getting to the end goal that you don?t dare get ahead of yourself, but you have just managed to leap the biggest hurdle of all so you are doing brilliantly.

Now sorry for a bit of me me me but I am having a hard couple of days. I think I was doing really well with things but it?s just catching up with me a bit. I?ve had about 10 days since the bleeding stopped, so I thought I was mid-cycle, but then yesterday evening it started up in earnest and I had a really heavy night of it. Since this would only be about day 21 (if we are counting from when I think the m/c started) then this is really early for a period. I know there are probably no rules when it comes to the post-m/c cycle but I am so hacked off.

I think it might be a period as I feel totally tearful and emotional, as if the hormone levels have crashed, and last night as I was lying in bed I had a wave of feeling unable to cope with the stupid mundane things I had to do today ? like wrapping up a birthday present and taking it to the post office, for Pete?s sake.

I just miss my baby and I feel really hard done-by today. Have been welling up at my desk. I'm also a bit concerned by the stupid cycle and it reminds me how hard it is doing all the monitoring, trying to keep up the ?trying? and dealing with the uncertainty, disappointment, jealousy and all that plus working and living as normally as you can do. Thought I was doing better than this...

Hello ladies. I wonder if I could re join you.

cerubina I'm so sorry you are having a horrible time. I'm not sure whether the bleeding is a period or not but I'm sure your hormones are all over the place and I think it is completely normal to be feeling like you do. I hate to think of you welling up at work. It is so hard trying to hold things together isn't it. You need to give yourself a lot of time to come to terms with the loss of your baby. That's something that is never easy and even more so if their are problems getting pregnant in the first place. Can you make some time to spend doing something you would enjoy with your DH? Any chance of some pampering and treating yourselves at the weekend? I know nothing will take the pain away. Maybe just letting it out on MN will help a little.

I have been away for a few months I'm afraid but I have been checking in occasionally. I think I just needed a break from even thinking about getting pregnant to be honest. For those that don't know me my DH and I had unsuccessful ICSI in October last year. It was our first attempt and considering I have a low AMH I responded quite well so our consultant has encouraged us that it would be worth having another go. Since then I have started a new job which has been pretty busy and kept me distracted. Now it's time for another go and I am waiting for AF which I reckon will start tomorrow. I am on the short protocol so it could all be done within 15 days or so and I could be on the 2WW! I thought I would feel excited at the prospect of trying again, but now it's here I am dreading it. I don't mind the physical stuff although it's not nice but it's the emotional stuff I can't face. I am just dreading another failure. I don't think we can afford to do this again so it may be our last shot. I have been feeling emotional all day and now I just want it all to go away. I know my DH really wants to give it another go but my heart is not in it at the moment. What do you think ladies? Am I just being a bit cowardly? Is it just my PMT hormones on overdrive? Would I regret it if I chickened out and gave up on the whole thing?

On a positive note (and sorry for being so self absorbed) massive CONGRATULATIONS to bumpless or one of your new names! Lovely to hear good news from people I remember from before. And also to kiwikat - it's so good to hear postive stories.

Hello to everyone else.

Evening! Woo - new thread, new biscuits - my kind of thread!!

Firstly, Cerubina, you poor thing (big hug and hairstroke). so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down, although if it's any consolation I think that how you're feeling is probably completely normal and part of the grieving process. Does DH know how you're feeling? Don't go through this alone (of course you're not alone with us, but you know what I mean) xxxx

Gingerwine, I wasn't around back in October, but welcome back! I hope we can all help you here. FWIW, I think that if you're up for it it's worth one last shot - I'm not sure I could live with the "what ifs".

Italian! How ya doin' Senora? Glad to hear that you've had such a good (if somewhat busy) day. That radio prog sounds really good (I love radio 4!) - I think I might look it up! The experiment with the raisin sounds interesting - I have a habit of wolfing my food down. I'm at your self-diagnosis of your oestrogen levels for the nurses, Dr. Italian!!

I didn't know that bad gums could be detrimental to pregnancy - in what why? And also, what do you mean by bad gums? (I'm always looking for things to add to my worry list!!).

I am still being a very "Wonderous Woman" - my bleeding / discharge is relentless (as in not stopping rather than particularly heavy) and no amount of Microgynon is going to get in its way! I called the clinic and they were relatively unconcerned, but I'm not very happy that I'm still bleeding at day 14 - esp when I'll probably have another period in about 2 weeks time (BTW - I'm getting the full "period experience" - cramping and v. sore ).

I have come to the conclusion that (re: IVF) everyone knows what's going on with them, but get confused when they read about other people. I suppose that because we're all at different clinics that's going to give some variance of treatment to start with, and then when you factor in individual "issues" you get a huge range of different treatment & drug protocols (or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better ).

I like Easter for quite a few reasons (and yes, many of them do involve chocolate bunnies...). I'm not particularly spiritual (although I did enjoy telling the Easter story to a Muslim colleague the other day!) but I like the fact that the weather is getting better, the days are getting longer, nature's waking up and I always seem to get to see lots of my friends and family! I'm also quite fond of the limited edition Mr. Kipling Easter orange and lemon mini battenbergs . Yes, you've SO got my number!

KiwiKat - how's your litter? Pleased that your blood test confirmed How is your DH reacting now?

Dueling - congratulations on your 6 little embies! That's brilliant news. Good luck for Thursday and make sure you look after yourself until then .

Hugs, kisses and choccy biccies to all other ladies xxxx

~~~~ DO NOT POST HERE - POST ON THE VOLUME 5 THREAD ON THE LINK BELOW ~~~~

Blame me for jumping in starting a new thread when one had already been started!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/934157-Assisted-Conception-and-the-bits-in-betwee n-Volume-5?msgid=19033884