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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

I cant call it a day i just CANT....

11 replies

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 12:36

I cant stop, i should and i have had HUGE hints from mother nature that its all over and done with for me, but i just cant do it.

Its fighting off natural instincts isnt it at the end of the day?

Have you had to make this decision and what helped you?

OP posts:

Original poster

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 12:37

I admit it, i am selfish and ungrateful

OP posts:

Prinpo · 17/03/2010 12:51

I'm not sure I've got a handle on what you're saying but it sounds as though you're facing making a decision to stop ttc. Is that right? If so, you have my heartfelt sympathy. It's something I'm getting to the stage of thinking about and it's heartbreaking. Can you say a bit more about what's got you to this stage? Why do you feel selfish and ungrateful?

Sending ((((((((((())))))))))))) because you sound as though you feel utterly crappy.

Original poster

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 13:18

i have a 6 year old, i have a child some bpeople dont even get that do they.
i am 40 this year.
i had 5th mc in december so mother nature really telling me that its all over but i just cant accept it, i need another baby i just do, i do, i cant help it.

OP posts:

sgibbo · 17/03/2010 13:27

Meatntattypie - has the hospital / GP started any tests or any investigations? This would then surely make the decision easier to make. It could be something that is simple to fix for example you need more progesterone or something similar so this wouldn't necessarily be mother natures way of telling you to stop.

If that was the case i should have given up a long time ago we have been TTC1 for over 4 & 1/2 years without success

Original poster

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 13:40

blood tests galore, all normal.
progesterone levels low day 21. suggested clomid.
not really sure if this would help me, i get pregnant, just dont stay pregnant.

OP posts:

DUSTIN · 17/03/2010 13:57

I turned 40 in November and had my 2nd child 10 months ago. It has taken me 10 years and 3 mcs to be blessed with my 2. Like you I did not want to give up. I went down the alternative therapy route. I used pregnancy self hypnosis c/d's, had reiki and made sure my diet was really healthy(look at Marilyn Glenville website).

Good luck with whatever you decide and take care.

Original poster

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 14:06

ahh thats really really reassuring DUSTIn, after your battles you finally got your 2 babies,

Im going to keep trying...without trying iyswim.
iam dieting, high protien, low fat, cut out caffiene, alcohol, tke vitamins and have done this for going on 5 years now.

I still had 5 mcs despite this.

I feel hopeless, i feel helpless, i feel that i cant do anything right.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 17/03/2010 15:10

It can be so hard can't it?

I haven't made the decision. Have been TTC for #2 for over 5 years now. I already have a 7y DD. I am 37y. Have had two ops, clomid and other hrmone treatment. All test have come back normal. I just can't get pregnant, not a hint or anything. DD took a fair while to concieve, but nothing like this.

I know in my head that it is not likely now. Not after all this time. But in my heart I can't give up adn call it a day just yet.

MrsGokWantsatidyhouse · 17/03/2010 16:22

It took me over 5 years to get DC1, with me MCing 3/4 sometimes 5 times a year, I was 37 when he was born.

It took 2 1/2 years to get DC2 again same rate of MCing, I was 40 when he was born.

DC3 just happened. I was told I wouldn't have any more children and we had resigned ourselves to that fact. I was still breastfeeding DC2 (15mths) and had been ill for a couple of months so took myself to a Dr. who told me I was pregnant ,I was 42 when he was born.

So the moral of the story is don't try

Original poster

meatntattypie · 17/03/2010 17:45

what lovely hopeful stories.
We are not timing things, not doing opk or anything like that. All i am doing is writing down the 1st day of my period.

It is so hard.
Thanks girls for your kindness x

OP posts:

Prinpo · 17/03/2010 18:41

Meatntatty, it is really, really hard. I don't know if you've been watching the One Born Every Minute (which has me in floods of tears on the edge of the sofa every week) but one of the midwives said something which really helped me. She was speaking in relation to a 40 year old woman who had tried for 5 years before she'd been successful. The midwife said how much she admired women who showed such perseverence. I don't know why, but that helped me. I suppose because if things don't go smoothly one feels like a bit of a failure, whereas she was re-framing it and recognising the determination that women (and men) show when they have to try so hard for a baby.

Do you feel as though you've had enough and you want to stop ttc, or do you feel in your heart that you still really want to keep trying? (For what it's worth, I don't believe nature is trying to tell you anything. I believe you've had a heap of bad luck.) In terms of feeling guilty because you already have one child, I agree that it's good to cherish what you have but that doesn't discount the longing you feel for another child. I have 2dds and we've been trying for 2 years for dc3, with 2mcs along the way. The longing I feel for dc3 is as strong as the longing I felt for our first.

Best of luck however things turn out for you.

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