FTC and crying in public.

[queenoftheslatterns]

have been ttc for 4.5y now and had 10 mc's and 1 ep. I tell myself that Ive had enough, we should focus on ds and ourselves now. after all, how much more can one family take? but i get this craving. I cant explain it but I NEED another baby. Its harder because ds wants a sibling. all of his school friends have brothers or sisters and he wants one too.

I cry at the most random moments, today I was dropping ds off at school and started talking to another mum who was trying to take her dd's coat off and hold a new baby at the same time, she asked if i would hold baby. I must have looked terrified coz she laughed and said "dont worry, he wont break"

i took him and looked at his tiny hands, eyelashes, and little scrunched up face and burst into tears. proper hysterical gulping sobs.

I feel so stupid now, who wants to speak to the madwoman with no social skills and a tendancy to sob?!

Poor you, sounds like you've gone/you're going through hell. If I'd been the mum in question I'd guess it was something like that, but maybe calling her aside and telling her something of what has gone on may be an idea? No one, but no one would make you feel stupid I don't think. Do you know the other mum well?

TBH the other mum probably feels terrible too for upsetting you, she must have known by your reaction that something was terribly wrong. Next time you see her alone just say sorry for bursting into tears and explain that you've been trying for a much wanted baby for a while and its not happening. You're much more likely to make a sympathetic friend.
I hope things work out for you x

she was lovely about it and I suppose must have guessed, I just feel a bit daft. most of the time I'm ok, but some days Im very delicate.

Please don't feel stupid, that's an awful lot of grief and it's not surprising that it spills out occasionally. No one with half a brain will think you have terrible 'social skills', they'll just realise that something has made you very sad and most mothers will guess what it relates to.

aw, thank you. I think I will have a quiet word with her this morning.