TTC- wanting to be a young(ish) mum!

[rosietoestoo]

Hi there,

I'm new to mumsnet & am quite excited to be part of a web site with 'mum' in the title as that's what I want to be!

I'm 26 & my husband & I are going to start TTC in the next few months. I'm very excited about all of this but have very few friends at the same stage & i'd love to share the exciting bits & bobs about the whole process. Have seen a few similiar threads but they all seem to be quite full so thought I'd try strating a new one.

As I said very excited about TTC. Have been off the pill for about 4 months & using persona- at the moment for contraception but soon for conception! Going to start taking folic acid soon & cutting down on vino. Do love a glass with dinner so may be abit of a challenge!

Is anyone else feeling very impatient about trying to conceive? I feel I just can't wait... but then sometimes I get a little flash of terrification. It sounds amazing to be pregnant & have a wee baby at the end of it but then there is soooo much responsibility. I wonder if I'm up to it. Anyone else feeling this?

Hope this hasn't been too long a post. Look forward to hopefully hearing from some people!

Hi, I'm the same age as you been married for 19 months. I'm desperate to be a mum too. We were waitig to ttc but now seem to be trying for an accident this month. I'm thrilled about, dh still a little scared! Now on my first 2ww which is the most frustrating time ever hoping my age will work in my favour and won't have to go through to many months trying but who knows. I just can't handle the not knowing! I have a best friend who had her children really young so she has 2 and we have some older friends who are about to have a baby. Quite a few of our friends I think will start in the next year or two so hopefully we won't be the only ones with kids too long!

It must be exciting that you could be pregnant, but a wee bit frustrating not knowing- good luck! Wondering how long it will take us... bit scary thinking it could be years. As you say hopefully age will help, though i remember hearing a womans optimum age for fertility is late teens or something crazy like that!

LOL at 'trying for an accident' DH is pleased to be starting to try but I don't think quite as excited as me. Maybe thats usual though...

Hi - Im also 26 (just!) so just wanted to say that I know what you mean about not having many friends in the place as you.. I dont think many of my friends are thinking about babies just yet so its great to come here and talk all things baby related!

I actually came off the pill last summer but have only been properly 'trying' since Jan. I kinda hoped I would just 'fall' pg without having to try too hard but that didnt seem to be happening. I actually got that elusive BFP this month but then sadly got a really late period which I guess was an early mc. Am (weirdly) glad that this happened as this means I can get pg (which was something I was worried about!) .. so it's back on the TTC wagon for me this month..

Hoping you guys both get speedy BFP's! I think it's natural to wory about it takling a while when you first start trying, but I'm trying to stay chilled about it all.

My DP is on board but not half as enthusiastic as me about it all! Like you say I think thats pretty normal, and I know he'll be happy when it finally does happen which is the main thing. Are you DP's/DH's the same age?

Hi ladies, have a look at this thread, it's great for talking through everything TTC related with likeminded people. Be warned though, you may become Crazy Baby Ladies too!

Yay it's so exciting hearing from other people!

Sorry to hear about this month gembay but that's so true that at least it shows you can get pregnant, that's wonderful. And like you say staying chilled is so important- may as well enjoy the ride (excuse the terrible pun).

Funny I'm just off the phone to DH & said to him about the fact I'm super dooper excited & he's not so much. he says he will be really excited when we are preggers but just isnt at the mo, which is just what you said gembug. Maybe there's some hormonal thing women get when preparing for conception that men just don't. Yes my DH is around the same age- is yours?

I'm off work with norovirus (yuck) & have been having a real binge on conception info today. I thought i pretty much knew everything but it appears not- apparently you shouldnt use lubricants like ky while TTC as it harms the wee spermies. Have ordered a friendly sperm lubricant instead. sorry if thats TMI but thought it was interesting! Also just starting to think how to get myself in the best possible shape for pragnancy. Eat fairly healthy & exercise abit anyway & dont smoke. But do like wine...guess that'll have to go. Anyone got any other tips/ things I might not be thinking of doing? planning to start next month so just gearing up !

Rosie, I know what you mean about none of your friends being at the same stage. It's strange having no-one to talk to. MN seems like the place to let these things out!

I'm nearly 24 and desperate to get started TTCing. DP wants to wait until next year, but for various job related issues I don't think waiting would be the best idea.

DP and I have a house and financial stability. I think his reasoning is that he wants to spend a bit more time with just the two of us. He also seems to think we'll get pg immediately It's difficult to overrule my hormones though!

Hi all! My DP and I are also (finally!) TTC after 10 years together. I've been ready for a family since we were left school- but it's taken us a long time to both be ready to stop TTnotC!

At 27, none of my friends are at this stage either (and it's definitely a big taboo in my current work place!). It feels fantastic to finally find a forum of people who will understand the way that this can consume you!! I thought I must be a complete freak to be so obsessed by it, and having no-one to talk to makes it so much more intense! Sooo thankful to find MN!!

Rosie- i too didn't know about ky not being sperm-friendly, was a big shock (and rendered last months 'efforts' somewhat redundant!)- i'm starting to worry that there are loads of things that we're doing that could be inadvertently harming our chances..!

Best of luck to all of us - BFPs all round, please mother nature!!! xxx

Hey, I'm 27 also and have been married 1 year. My DH and I have been trying for 10 months with no success so far.

I'm a wee bit different in that most of my friends already have kids and all fell pregnant 1st cycle so don't really know what I'm feeling.

Am totally caught up in the TTC obsession and am starting to feel really worried and frustrated at lack of pregnancy.

Joined MNet to talk with likeminded people and seems to be plenty of us, it actually relieves pressure a wee bit knowing there are others going through same thing.

Good luck to everyone this month and looking forward to hopefully sharing our pregnancy experiences!!

p.s. I've been using Preseed sperm friendly lube for few months and it is really good. Got it from a website called Access Diagnostics, really good service. I have just ordered a new product from them called Zest which supposedly increases sperm mobility, worth a shot!

Hello again!

I'm becoming more TTC obsessed...stopped off on the way home fromwork to buy a wee thermometer for monitoring body temp- not entirely sure what should be looking for at the mo, will have to do some research! Also bought a mum & baby mag which DH thinks is haliarious considering we aren't starting to try til next month. Ah well, I can't help feeling excited about it! I totally agree with you thoroughlymodernmilly its sooo consuming! These hormones are so powerful. DH's just don't get that part of it me thinks!

I so empathise with you saoralba about DH/P's thinking it'll happen immediately. If only eh?! There'd be no need for temp charts, friendly sperm lube, ovulation kits, CM analysis etc etc! As for your DP thinking it's good to be the 2 of you for a while I understand what he's saying but it's soo all consuming wanting to get pg! I've actually had a few wee spells of wanting too TTC in the past which have been so powerful. But DH has always been the sensible voice of (non hormonal) reason. But now we are more settled with jobs, nearer family etc. & it's the right time for us. Sounds like it's a good time for you too so good luck with persuading DP

I imagine it's so natural to be worried boba82 & frustrating- fingers crossed for the next few mths. It's funny how we spend so much time TnotTC- we could have been frolicking away!

It's so great to be able to share all these thoughts & emotions with people going through the same thing. Good luck to everyone this month

Saoralba - my dp said exactly the same thing about wanting time for just the 2 of us etc etc - even though we have been together for aaaages and have had plenty of couple time! I actually think the fact that it is taking us a while to conceive means that he will be even more excited when it finally does happen. I'm sure if I had fallen pg immediately after coming off the pill he would have been a bit freaked out (at least thats one positive of this TTC lark taking its time!)

Boba - I just wanted to say I know how difficult it gets going month after month and still nothing. I think we are often told that getting pg in your 20's is easy so when it doesnt happen quickly its so frustrating! This is definitely something none of my friends can relate to so mn is a good place to come to find people going through the same thing/pick up any tips...

gembay & Saoralba
Totally agree about the TnotTC. I laugh now when I think about all the times I have sat on toilet praying for BFN and now I wouldn't mind if I never see one again!

I'm also trying to look on bright side of just being two of us at moment. Means we can still go foe meal, cinema etc whilst all our friends with kids are always complaining that they never get to do anything together anymore.

We should all make the most of the vino while we can this weekend.

Hope everyone has a good one.

I'm 23 and we're moving towards it! If you get scared by not knowing what the hell is going n and just plan on shagging lots looking out for the thread with lots of scary acronyms and 'we're just not using contraception' in the title.

Milly, Do you think that every couple who are TTCing are doing things like charting and the dreaded 2 week wait, and it's just that nobody talks about it? Having read a number of the threads on here it seems like everybody's obsessed. It's clearly some kind of secret society...

Rosie I've decided I'm going to try to avoid charting. I'm so into stats etc that I feel it would probably drive me completely over the edge. The amount of time I spend on MN is bad enough without adding Fertility Friend into the mix as well. I plan to count days and that'll do me. I'm a bit worried though that my cycle will take ages to settle down as I've been on various types of contraception for so long. But no point fussing about it now, we'll just see what happens when it happens.

Gembay I think DP/H's all experience FOF (Fear of Fatherhood) and they'll all panic slightly however long it takes. I'm fully expecting my DP to lose the plot somewhat when we start TTC and eventually get a BFP!

boba There was a phrase used on 'One Born Every Minute' the other night that I thought was nice. The midwife said 'remember, you're still a couple, what's changed is that you're now a family too.' I've decided now that I'm not going to worry if I miss a pill. Partly because i want a BFP anyway, but also because it's clearly almost impossible to get pg from just missing one pill. All those scare stories that went about convincing people to get the morning after pill were clearly just scare stories!

I'm thinking about bringing it up with DP sometime soon. Unfortunately he's working this weekend so there won't be a session after a fair few beers when I can drunkenly blurt it out bring it up. He doesn't know about MN yet. I keep minimising it when he heads towards the computer cupboard (it's under the stairs).

I've had two days in the house already this week as my work has irregular hours and I've got another day at home tomorrow and two next week. Too much time at home makes me overthink about DCs. It doesn't help that we're down to one car at the moment and DP is taking that to work. We live in a village, so not that much within walking distance.

Hi everyone, i'm 26 too! sometimes i feel like MN is full of over 35 yr olds who have been either trying for years/are injectng themselves with fertility potions/have had MCs/or who already have kids, sometimes i feel like im not qualified to be on these threads as i dont have kids, have never had a BFP of any kind, and TTC is too complicated to keep stats. Although i did start 2010 as cycle 1 hahaha!

All our parent friends either had them quite young or aren't even thinking about kids. I work as a child minder (which usually puts people off) but it just makes me want to start a family of our own even more.

Anyway i feel a bit like i dont want to tell too many people that im addicted to MN because a) im not a mum and b) i cant really officially announce that we're 'trying'.

So just some advice if you're just starting out, first learn all the mumsnet acronyms, then, on ebay they sell packs of tests, i got a pack with: a tube of Pre-Seed, 25 ovulation predictor tests and 15 pregnancy tests. Can't remember how much it cost but it was good value. Abstain from s.e.x. until around cycle day 12 (day 1 being the 1st day of period starting) then do it like rabbits til day 17 ish. Keep up the romance lots of kissing, cuddling and massages til CD12ish, and don't tell DP this plan or the exact day that you're ovulating. You can take folic acid up to a year before falling PG so start now. From reading a lot of threads, temperature taking and charting seems to put more pressure on people. So 'trying to have an accident' is the best mentality!

Good luck to everyone, hopefully see you on the 'pregnancy' topic soon

I've been tempted by charting too but just know I would become completly obsessed by it so trying to avoid it for now. I do have an app on iPhone though which predicts when I'm fertile which is quite handy. I've become completly obsessed with wanting to get pregnant!

Saor there is a thread for those not charting etc just not using contraception and having fun. Come join it!

Hello! I'm not TTC at the moment but I'm mum to two DSs aged 2 and a half and 7 months. I was 26 when I had DS1 and 28 when I had DS2. Not many of my friends my age were having babies when I had DS1, although older friends were (and I made lots of new ones when he arrived!). Loads of friends have had their first baby around the same time as DS2 though which has been nice.
Just thought I'd share my experiences and say good luck!

Agree charting could become abit OTT. Think how you go abt TTC is really personal & hopefully we'll all find our own best way whether it be charts & thermometers or just lots of good ol' shaggin!

saor- like that thing from one born every minute. what a cool programme- depite the obvious pain etc it makes me sooo broody & DH too which is good! through my job ive been at a few births & it truely is amazing when a wee baby is born. i cried every time- goodness know what ill be like when it's me (fingers crossed...eeek tempting fate!). I was doin the whole minimizing thing with MN too, case DH saw what i was up to but he got way too curious so told him. he was a wee bit freaked out by my obsessive levels but also thinks its funny (i hope!). good luck with introducing the idea to DP. i think they may all be a little freaked initially but come round to the idea alright, all bein well .

Laragazza- LOL at your thoughts on MN threads- so true! It freaked me out abit when i first popped on here the other day...but now even more freakally im slowly getting sucked into it! gd advice abt TTC by the way.

Florin- like the idea of that iphone app...know youre ovulating anytime, anywhere... is there anything the amazing iphone cant do?!

thanks for the luck littlemisslozza- good to know you had a good experience despite being abit younger than what the usual seems to be these days.

While I'm keen to 'casually' keep TTC at the moment, I know that another BFN this weekend will undoubtedly lead me down a more robust route! frakkinaround, thanks for the heads-up on that thread, I'm thinking I might join in the hope that it will keep me from trying to order my body weight in fertility boosting drugs!

Currently, my biggest pre-occupation is thinking that any change in the way I feel might mean success.. The amount of things I've googled followed by 'symptom of early pregancy' is getting ridiculous! And did I really stop eating that sandwich because I can no longer stomach tuna or because I'm so desperate to be pregant that I'm creating food aversions where there are none..

Like all of you, MN is something I'm having to minimise at the drop of a hat (both here at work and at home!)- my DP is very lovely, but I do think he'd be at best non-plussed by the amount of time I spend thinking/reading/ daydreaming about starting our family. Haven't dared watch One Born Every Minute with him- partly because I'm scared he'll weigh in with some top birthing facts (he's a doctor & had to deliver a quota of babies before he could qualify!) but mostly because I'm pretty sure I'm pulling an if-only-it-were-me face throughout the whole thing..!

Milly xx

ps- LaRagazza thanks for the brilliant advice for us new to MNers!!

My DP refuses to watch One Born Every Minute with me because he says it makes him nervous to think I will one day be the screaming woman off her face on the gas and air!!! But to be fair to him he has already witnessed the joys of childbirth with his DS! I am just fascinated by it - doesn't put me off in the slightest.
I'm 27 and TTC#1 on cycle 8 now and getting impatient, I'm veering between trying proper with charting etc etc and then just going with the flow! Can't make my mind up - I just know I wanna baby and I want it yesterday!! lol

MN makes me feel good about the fact I am not the only crazy insane person obsessed about ttc tho!!

Still haven't plucked up courage to speak to DP about bringing forward TTC. Maybe tonight.

MrsWajs I've been watching OBEM on the pc when DP's at work. He's blissfully unaware of my MN addiction or my OBEM addiction.

I've definitely got too much time not at work at the moment. When I'm in the house by myself I think far too much about TTCing. Can't imagine how obsessive I'm going to be on my first 2 week wait.

Aww SaorAlba so are you not officially TTC yet?? Sorry did read upthread the other day but my memory is like a sieve!! Apparently set to get worse when I do eventually fall pg!!
The 2ww is the pits, some better than others but this one is doing my head in! Dunno if it's since I joined here cus I'm compelled to check every half hour day to see what's being said, whereas normally I would just be trying to forget about it and get on with things!!
But I know what you mean about having too much spare time, I've just had 6 days off and my MN obsession is getting outta control haha!

Hey there,

I've only been on mumsnet a couple of times before (got a deserved pasting on the AIBU forum!) but I'm 27 and I have one month left on my pill. I have one pregnant friend and a couple of others who have babies, but none of them live close by so it's a bit scary!

I'm so excited about the whole thing - my DH can't wait for a baby, and we both just feel ready. But things are really complicated - we bought our house in August 2007 (most expensive month in history) and it's worth less now than it was, but we have to sell it because my job has moved over an hour away from where we live, and I'm really worried that commuting with a baby will be a nightmare (nursery where I work). Which means my DH, who is a teacher, is looking for new jobs in the area, our house is up for sale, we've had to take out a loan to cover the negative equity and the moving costs, and we're going to end up in rented. We have great degrees and good, stable jobs with decent enough pay, but it feels a bit mental to be doing all this! Our friends and family think we're mad, but I just don't want to be an old mum!

Good luck to everybody on here - fingers crossed for a BFP for someone soon!