Fertility investigation again, but with different partner

[secondtimeheregoes]

Hiya, ive name changed because I'm really paranoid about this, all my own stupid fault though.
I need some advice as I have no one to talk to in RL about this as no one knows we are trying and I like it that way.
About 10 years ago I was with a different partner and after trying (half heartedly if I'm honest) for 12 months I had bloods and HSG and he had SA. All came back ok, however we split before the appt with the Consultant so I never really felt that I had any definite answers. He went on to have 2 children with his new partner and I am now with the love of my life and have been desperately trying to have our own baby for the past 14 months.

He has a child with his previous partner.

I am 37 years old now.

Last weekend, Dh asked me to think about getting some tests done, he said he's happy to do what he needs to do etc.

The problem here is, I have never told him about the previous investigations.

I know I should have, but its too late now. I have appt with GP on weds and will ask if the previous investigations will be included or mentioned but can I ask that they are not?

I'm sure after 10 years they will be irrelevant anyway?

I've been using a CBFM for 4 months and have a regular cycle and regular ovulation, although a short luteal phase of 10 days.

I'm so scared that its my fault and i'll never have a baby and its really hit me hard now DH has discussed getting tested.

I cant think about anything else. I'm also due on tomorrow and had slight pink spotting yesterday but nothing since.

Your advice will be appreciated and thanks for reading this - bit long winded sorry

Hi,

I think you should mention them to GP but no need to mention them to new partner as am sure if they are 10 years old you will need them all done again anyway.

Actually to revise that - in the spirit of openess you might want to tell your new partner, buy given you had no conclusive answers there isn't much to tell is there - unless you don't want him to know you liked ex partner enough to consider having baby with him, in which case don't mention it.

x

hi yellowflowers, thanks for your advice.

As you say, I would think after 10 years I'll have to have them again. I just want to know if there is anything wrong.

As DH has a child already we were are not eligible for any NHS fertility treatment anyway , but at least we'll know one way or the other.

All it will initially be will be blood tests (day 3 and 21) and over ten years your hormones may well have changed so really there is no need at all to mention them.

They might not even need to know if you have had an HSG but it will be there in your notes anyway I am sure.

I'd just go in and ask for the blood tests and let them know how long you have been trying so that they can see how important it is given your age that you get tested soon.

Hi duelingFanjo thanks, I'm sure it will be ok, I am just scared of "previous investigations" being blurted out at an appointment when DH is with me.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that bloods come back ok and SA comes back ok.

I was prescribed Clomid last time for 3 months, however I'm using a fertility monitor now thats telling me I'm ovulating?!

I've got my charts all ready to take to GP appt and I'll ask her re the privacy issue.

I would love to tell DH but I know how he'll feel and I dont want to make him feel like that.

I've also tested FSH with an internet cheapie and that came back ok, so I'm not too stressed at the moment.

I've just been hoping for so long now and thinking its just timing and we'll get it right one month! Then I hear the boom boom of my body clock ticking

Once again, thanks for your reply

Hi 2ndtime I think you should tell him. Maybe not give all the details, just that you had some bloods done, just in case it does crop up? its stressful enough without having that on your mind. You never know, he's a man - he'll probably just shrug it off!

I've also made appt to see gp later this week and am not sure what to expect, so I'll let you know how I go on.

Good luck x