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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Do you think TTC 1st baby at 32+ is v v late?

38 replies

Pinkflipflop · 12/02/2010 18:48

Basically what do you think? Have heard and read so many horror stories about older mothers and probs they face and basically am starting to worry (sad)

Won't be financially ready until I have a perm job to have a baby, but I know I would love one at some stage (I know, I know, a baby is not a commodity and I would be very very blessed to have one, but have to be able to provide for it also)

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 13/02/2010 23:37

phd - ELDERLY? I love it.

BabyBecks · 13/02/2010 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phdlife · 15/02/2010 10:32

yes, those were here exact words! to my face!!

and then she was completely flabbergasted when I demanded asked to speak to her boss

Hobnob76 · 15/02/2010 11:27

I'm 33 and pregnant with my 1st child and I certainly don't feel its too late. Unfortunately circumstances kind of dictated when we could start TTC, but I fell 1st month of trying and apart from a bit of morning sickness so far its all been good.

There is never going to be a good time IMO

Cicatrice · 15/02/2010 11:30

I got pregnant quickly at 36. Most of my friends started family at a similar age. Only one had to have assisted conception, and that was related to her DH.

But you really don't know what your fertility is like till you try.

I know someone else who started trying at 26 and no luck yet.(4yrs)

Rockbird · 15/02/2010 11:34

I got pg on the first attempt at 35. Now at 38 am planning dc2 and only now am I beginning to think I should get my skates on. Fingers crossed it'll be straightforward but you never know at any age.

Patsy99 · 16/02/2010 18:53

I heard the female fertility expert (Gillian ?) from the West Midlands clinic on Radio 4 saying she thought your early 30s were the ideal time to ttc - in that there was time to sort things out if you turn out to have difficulties.

Sarahlou8 · 19/02/2010 16:08

I had my two dc's at 25 & 27. At 37 we decided we would like another and I conceived within 2 months of trying in August 09 but sadly mc'd in November 09 (which the odds are 1 in 4 over 35). I'm now pg again, it took 2 months.
When I mentioned to my Doctor that I was worried about my age she almost laughed and said it's very very common now, people are leaving it later and there was no reason why it shouldn't be a low risk, perfectly normal pregnancy.

So for me, 32 sounds positively young and I wouldn't be worried at all

ShowOfHands · 19/02/2010 16:17

Elderly primigravida is a medical term isn't it? They put as much thought into it as they did 'spontaneous abortion' and 'failure to progress/thrive'.

Language is very powerful. I wonder who invented the terms in the first place. I want that job.

Do you have an allergy to non gold/silver jewellery? You have Chav Epidemis. Thrush? Nylon Knickers From Primark Disorder. Cystitis? Shaggers Flange.

I'd be good for medicine, I really would.

barkfox · 19/02/2010 17:09

FWIW, my thoughts are -

It might be worth trying to separate the issues that are troubling you as far as you can.

Fertility does decline with age - but generally this is associated with the 35+ age group, with fertility getting lower with age (so at 32, I don't think this is currently a factor for you). It's also an 'overall' picture, i.e. some women may take 2 years to conceive, but others might be lucky enough to fall pregnant the 1st month of trying.

This age related average decline is also something that you might think about if you feel very strongly that you want more than one child.

As several others have pointed out, no one ttc for the first time really knows what's going on with their insides! - most women won't have significant trouble conceiving, but for those that do, it's obviously true that the earlier they start ttc, the more time they have to try and sort out any problems.

It's worth saying out loud that age and fertility is such an emotive subject, getting our heads round what it means for us individually can be really hard. There's a natural tendency for us to believe and pay attention to the stories that suit us, and ignore/get upset and angry about the stuff that doesn't. What we really want is a personalised crystal ball, but what we have are statistics and averages, and very little way of knowing in advance where we will fit in. I say that not to be gloomy! but to say, I understand why you are worrying.

As far as life plans go, and how 'ready' you are to have a baby - personally, I think it's a bit too glib just to say 'there's never a good time.' There are certainly plenty of bad times - a glance down the social services register in any UK city will tell you that much.

I think it's very reasonable to want to be ttc and hopefully pregnant at a time when you can (mostly) really look forward to having a baby, rather than feeling scared and fearful of the changes to come in your life. I think it's true that no one ever feels 100 percent 'ready' and confident - but I also believe that some times really are better than others. That might be because of family relations, emotional/mental health reasons, practical financial circumstances, etc. These will never be perfect! but they all have a big effect on our lives.

When I said it might be an idea to separate the issues troubling you out a bit, I meant that time spent calmly mulling the 'life situation' side of things rather than the 'fertility clock' might be the best thing. Only you know what you want! and what is possible for you. If you aren't ttc right away, then there is time to do a bit of a 'life audit', and look at everything from your support network of family and friends to your work/income situation, and just ask what you feel you would really want to change if you were to have a baby. I'm not saying 'try and plan so everything is perfect!' at all. Just - if you don't feel you are ready right now, then what is stopping you? (and if it is your work/money situation, there are lots of active things you can do to re-organise that).

Sorry for the long post. A shorter reponse would be - 'try not to worry about the things you can't predict/change! but why not spend some time thinking honestly about what you really want to change in your life before you ttc.'

Good luck.

Ariesgirl · 19/02/2010 18:05

ShowofHands, that's comedy gold!

Ariesgirl · 19/02/2010 18:05

ShowofHands, that's comedy gold!

Ariesgirl · 19/02/2010 18:06

Oops, posted twice. Obviously I thought it SO hilarious I had to say so twice

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