Help me to decide whether to TTC

[boundarybabe]

DH and I were discussing The Next Child last night..... DS is one this month and I'd really like a 2(ish) year gap. We've decided provisionally that I'll finish my box of pills (10 week's worth) and then we'll just see what happens. I fell straight away last time, although obviously not counting my chickens.

I'm undecided though.... if we have another, we're still in a flat (on the market but no real interest yet, but it's bound to sell in a year, right?). DS is still in our bedroom as our spare room is full of junk. On mat leave I'd be earning less again.

On the other hand, we'd have more CB and tax credits so we wouldn't be that much worse off if I had to quit work as once I've paid nursery fees I don't have much left anyway! I keep thinking we'd be daft to do it now, but on the other hand our circumstances could change at any time, but the age gap is forever. And what if it takes a while for me to get pg this time...??

If we have a larger age gap it's going to be a longer time before I can really start earning again, plus there is a large gap between me and my sister which we hated and I really don't want to let the time drift away.

DH is with me on all of this but I think the thought of being skint is scaring him a bit.

Aaargh. WWYD?

I'm by far and away no expert because I haven't even had my first (yet). However what swayed me, sorry us!, in the end to just go for it is the thought that it might take longer than we imagined. Also I'm assured by my friends with children that for a while at least they don't cost that much. We're in our mid thirties, run our own business which has taken a lot longer to be profitable than we thought, and are in a rented house. For ages we've told ourselves and others that we can't afford it, we're too busy, our families are too far away etc etc, until one day I thought we'll be saying this for ever at this rate and it's now or never. We've got family and friends who can share/lend/give us the stuff we need. That's what decided me in the end, plus a hefty kick up the mum from Mother Nature when my sister announced three months ago she was expecting! And by the time we have a child maybe two, we could be 38/39.

Thanks for replying.

In a way part of it is that I'm not a very 'baby' person so I' d like to get that bit out of the way IYSWIM and reap the rewards later of having them close together. A little part of me thinks if I leave it longer than about 3 years I'm not going to want to do it at all.

Hello,

Numbers and age gap don?t count for anything in my opinion it is how you are raised. A prize if you guess the number of siblings I have!!

If you want two and from personal experience want the gap to be smaller, go for it!

We range from 3 years to 9month in gap (one v. prem). We used to play, love and argue in equal amounts regardless of the gap sizes!

Everything else will fall into place. I regret getting my life in order before starting to try for a family thanks to hindsight - think how would you feel if you don't do it?