the emotional/mental side of ttc

[LadyBee]

We all know that trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster - mostly an exercise in serial disappointment .
Obviously a lot of us cope with it by finding support online, but I wonder if anyone has got what they think are good strategies for coping day-to-day or when the bad times come?
Personally I veer from denial of what I've trying to do (so when it goes wrong it's not that bad ) to complete acknowledgement of everything I'm feeling and indulging the obsession, bursting into tears at DH and reading and re-reading a well-thumbed Zita West book.
What have you found that helps?...

Chocolate, oh and red wine. I do find a huge support online, as it's easier to talk to people in the same situation. It is all ups and downs but its hope that keeps me going. Good Luck x

My (most wonderful, lovely) best friend has just started her third attempt at IVF. First attempt was abandoned for some reason (too scientific/complicated for me to explain), second attempt, two eggs put back in - a few hours of emotional hysteria as she had a positive preg test, only to start bleeding later that night (a'chemical' pregnancy as they called it???)

Now she is just waiting to see if her womb lining has thickened to go onto the next step. How they cope I do not know- there are no more funds after this attempt.

I PRAY TO GOD that it works.

Anyone going through this has my very best wishes. Good luck.

Do you talk to your DH/DP about it? That's on of the things I've found quite hard. I talk to him about everything else that worries me but I don't feel like I can talk to him about this too much as I don't want him to feel a lot of pressure when it comes to perform. He knows I get upset when it doesn't work each month but I doubt he really knows how much mental energy I spend on this.

lady my dh has absolutely no idea quite how much it hurts each month after month.

We have just had mmc at just past 10 wks so he knows things are painful at the moment but we are ttc again as we speak, (well not as but ykwim) and he knows it's important to me.

It is to him too but men are differenat aren't they? their clock doesn't tick as loudly or as quickly as ours does.

I don't talk to anyone in RL about it, all of my support is from friends online, either here or friends I have "met" through my Doula work but have never actually met yet.

I have a few friends who are quite a few years younger than me so they don't get it, plus they are newly single with several children so aren't in a position to understand my need.

Oh yes and chocolate.

I talk to dh about it a lot and I told I don't want answers from him I just need him to listen while I vent and cry.

I think sometimes he finds it difficult and blames himself especially after mc last year ( lost a lot of blood really thought I was going to die). He really wants this as much as me and him being positive and saying when not if keeps me going.

I get really upset day af arrives because not matter how hard I try I always convince myself I'm pregnant.

Also lemon muffins help.

I get by on daydreams of holding the little dumpling that I will one day give birth to. Thinking about that baby smell - mmmmmmm.....

and when things are not going as planned I comfort myself with thoughts that I do not yet have to enter the murky world of perineal massage

And yes, I too am a chocolate eater. I also try to drink lots of comforting soothing herbal teas especially as they are better for uterine circulation than normal tea.