SOoo naive as thought we'd get pregnant just by not using contraception...charting fertility is HARD

[panda76]

Hello there!

I'm new to MN, so may need help with acronyms/ etiquette/ top tips etc - so please forgive me if I'm making any classic schoolboy errors. I've never posted on a thread about anything before but after reading some of the excellent threads on here I thought some of you might be able to share the benefit of your knowledge and experience with me

I'm 33 and have extremely irregular cycles (anything between 28-43 days). We decided a couple of years ago to ttc but our naive approach to ttc was to carry on having sex as normal, but without contraception. Needless to say, this hasn't worked!

We have both been tested and there doesn't appear to be anything wrong (thankfully). In December I started charting my ovulation/ fertility (after reading MN). I managed to 'find' my fertile time in December (didn't conceive) but finding my ovulation day has proved elusive in January - is this normal?

I've used the ovulation calculator on MN/ have started monitoring cervical discharge/ and been testing with ov kits.

I apologise in advance if this is something which has been talked about a million
times (I'm new!)

Anything anyone can share by way of support/ how to stay positive/ how to find my ov days will be very welcome indeed

Welcome to MN.

Interesting isn't it that you spend years convinced that brushing up against somebody risks an unplanned pregnancy and then you spend years trying and it doesn't happen? It's almost ironic. It's certainly frustrating.

Have you been temping and have you read Taking Charge Of Your Fertility?

It's normal to have cycles where you don't ovulate btw (anovulatory cycles) so sometimes you might not spot ovulation. Those ovulation testy whatsits aren't 100% accurate btw, but I've never used them so am not qualified to further comment.

What was tested by the doc? You're definitely ovulating? Was a reason found for such variable cycle lengths?

Hi panda

Another recommendation for Taking charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler, if you haven't read it already.

As ShowOfHands says, ov sticks are not 100% reliable. They detect the surge of hormones preceding ovulation, but do not confirm if ovulation has taken place or not. So, if your body is cranking up the hormones to ovulate, you may believe that you are ovulating, when in fact you are not. Hope I've explained that so it makes sense!!

good luck

Hello,
I don't have any advice on ovulating etc, as hubby and I just started TTC last month, but I'm new here too so just thought I'd say hello! I've no idea what my cycle's like, as I had the implant for years (which is notorious for making your periods erratic), and then had a brief flirtation with the mini pill before coming off contraception altogether.

It's so funny isn't it, that you put so much energy into not getting pregnant, and then when you actually want it to happen it doesn't! Or not so easily as you've been thinking all these years, anyway...

Everyone on MN seems really nice, I'm sure you'll get lots more words of wisdom. Best of luck!

Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the book to read. Temperature charting is worth doing too.

www.fetilityfriend.com has some good info / charts, etc on - well worth a read/sign up to. Good luck.

www.fertilityfriend.com

Sorry

Thanks so much to everyone for getting back to me. This is great!!!! I've joined Fertility Friend and am going to use their chart and take on some of the advice published on there.

And I'll check out the book you guys recommed too - thanks a mil!

ShowOfHands: It seems that I'm definitely ovulating. The doctor tested for that; she also tested for endometriosis, which thankfully I don't have. I'm not sure what else she tested for but said that all was fine. I also had an internal scan to check my womb and my tubes and all seemed to be grand. She didn't give me any reason for my irreglar cycle other than some women have them so not the most helpful.

Hello to you too PicklePants - I hope your cycles become a little more regular too - good luck

I agree though that it's highly ironic that you spend most of your life trying to avoid pregnancy (having had teachers scare the life out of of us at school with teenage pregnancy horror stories!!) and then when you try for a baby it's really difficult. I can't believe how naive I've been though...buried my head in the sand for too long I fear!

panda76

Irregular cycles are often caused by hormonal imbalances - two common causes for this are either a condition called polycystic ovaries or problems with the thyroid gland. Both should be checked for via blood tests. What tests has this doc done to date?.

It is no point in charting at all with such irregular cycles, sorry to write that but it is really problematic if you have irregular cycles. Ov kits are also a no becuase of your irregular cycles - these can give false positives if the cycle is irregular.

How could your doc test you for endometriosis - it is usually only diagnosed through laparoscopic surgery!. Scans and blood tests will not pick it up if it is there.

Think you;ve been mucked around to date and I am v sorry to write that as well.

In your case I would be going all out to get a diagnosis and to work with a gynae at a subfertility unit at hospital (if you are not already under the care of such a person).

Thanks to Atilla and BabyBecks. To answer some of your questions - yes I was tested for PCOS via a blood test and was fine. I also had a vaginal scan which the doc told me shows a scan of my womb and therefore can see if there is endometriosis and she said there wasn't!?!

I think you're probably right that I've been mucked about and your messages have spurred me on to call the doc and ask to be referred to a fertility unit.

SOrry to hear that you have the aforementioned medical problems BabyBecks - I hope you are successful soon. I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Thanks again to everyone. It's great to know that I'm not alone.

Same boat here, 31 and TTC for the first time. I too was convinced I only needed one session of BD without the usual precautions and would be instantly pregnant with triplets or something but nope, it's all a lot more complicated than anyone ever admits when you're 16 and getting the 'safe sex' lecture.

We've been TTC for just a few months so I'm not panicking yet but am getting blood tests done next week just in case. I have irregular cycles too (30-35 days with a couple of missed periods along the way, just to add to the suspense) and so started using fertilityfriend.com last month to try and keep track. TBH, I don't really know how to spot ovulation yet or even be sure that I have ovulated. I don't seem to have any of the obvious signs like CM or an LH surge on the OPK kits. It's hard to keep motivated and not to feel panicked watching the days so sometimes too much scrutiny can stress you out.

I think the advice you've been given to see a subfertility unit is good, considering you've had the basic tests done already to no avail. I know if I'm still trying a year from now, I'll be considering medical help so I wouldn't see it as an overreaction on your part.

panda

re your comment:-

"also had a vaginal scan which the doc told me shows a scan of my womb and therefore can see if there is endometriosis and she said there wasn't!?!"

Tsk at your doc for telling you this. You were given duff information. This is further proof you've been mucked about.

Oh my goodness me. Endometriosis cannot be picked up on such a scan. It is usually diagnosed through laparoscopy which is keyhole surgery.

BTW I have endometriosis and no ultrasound ever picked it up before I had surgery.

What blood test/s did they do and on what day?. They should have at the very least did a Day 2 to test and compare your level of LH against that of FSH. If these two levels are awry (a common problem with PCOS for instance) then ovulation will be affected.

With cycles like yours I would refrain from using any OPK or temp chart. These are both unhelpful methods if the cycle is consistently irregular in nature.

I would certainly seek a referral to a gynae at a subfertility unit in your circs.