Emmsy's weebles, from TTC to new arrivals, it's all going on here.

[VJay]

Ok, here we are, a new thread to see us into the next decade, and to celebrate more BFP's, growing bumps and new arrivals, and to enjoys those already here

Thanks Moon & Vjay. Cupcake: Jolyon, Jonty.

I've got the hump now. Not only did he not manage to cook dinner & not order a pizza AND not tell me but he sat in the kitchen eating Doritos & I didn't get anything. It was only when I said half an hour ago "Aren't we having dinner?" he said "No I've just had a bowl of Doritos". WTF????

Who can talk to me about back ache? Barbie you had it really bad to start with didn't you? It's been building up over the last few days & it feels like I constantly need to bend forwards to stretch my lower back out. I just freaked myself out by googling it, I then saw a website that said 'last visit 24th January 2009' - that was three weeks before my first mc.

On a good note I did a cb digi this morning & it said 'Pregnant 1-2 weeks'!

Im so sorry but mls you made me giggle...or more you dh did typical man! A bowl of doritos for dinner??? ha ha snort! Dh offered to sort dinner for us last night too...ended up in macdonalds his excuse was that he wanted to go to mothercare to get some smaller clothes and maccy d was next door. Tbh though it was very nice havent had junk for a long time...tonight was are going out to have a roast, havent had one in months and im super excited about it!

bakingqueen hello honey, you have been missed sorry things havent been great for you, i totally relate to the whole spending too much time on the internet thing. It got so bad for us last year that we decided on limiting our time and we both had to be off by a certain time in the evening in order to spend time with each other. Thankfully dh saw how much i needed these girls and once i had a major wobble he was the one who loaded up mn and made me post here. Hope you work it out, and just drop in from time to time to letus know how you are x

vjay i have started fashioning bin liners into a nice chrisening outfit, nothing else fits so i wil have to make do will book my hair cut for next week, so any day after thursday will be good for me....

mermaid how is the hangover head this morning?

Feel a little silly wobbling yesterday, like i said i think its all normal wobbles

Basically....(sorry if this is long and boring)

Because i didnt really have a LMP date but got my bfp on the 6th of june they came up with my due date of 21st feb....however my new doctor is concerned at this might not be the case, meaning i could go too far over ( scaring me shitless due to hearing in ante natal that this can some times be the cause of stillbirths as the placenta dies leaving the baby without anything) or i could be induced too early when really im best to be left for another week or so.

The doctor has looked at my early scan but again the dates are all out for instance on the 12 week dating scan i have 8 pictures one measures at 10 weeks 5 days, the other 13 weeks 2 days...such a huge difference...this is the same with all my scan pictures...

I havent been measured throughout as you all know, but now my fundal height is smaller than to be expected with puts me about 2 weeks behind my dates, so this means ill be induced before my actual 'real due date' if we knew what it was.....Im scared being induced with cause a longer harder labour which im already freaking out about.

The other thing worrying me is the fact i have been nosey and read through all my notes and in the last column the doctor has to circle whether im high risk....mine have all been circles as yes you guessed it...high risk the thing is i dont know what for??? the new docotor im seeing hasnt seen the hospital form like it before so she has no idea either (she is trying to find out to reassure me)....any ideas?

Also im doing a 4ever and worrying about leaking fluid, for some reason as soon as i get into bed there seems to be a lot more watery cm (tmi, sorry) so im constantly wondering if my waters are coming out....

and finally {gosh i sound like a right idiot dont i?]...for some reason i keep reading hearing about babies who are delievered still born throughtout the ladies pregnancies there were no problems so why does this happen....im so scared that its going to happen to me that i cant sleep, i stay awake trying to tell myself im being silly but i can help it, in fact im in tears and getting myself worked up as i type this now.....im so so so scared, its gone beyond normal fears and now its paralysing me. I keep getting moments when dh is at work when im sat in floods of tears, i havent been in the nursery in days. The fear of this is making the fear of labour even worse...im not scared of the pain so much its the what if? I dont want the baby to come out for the simple reason i can feel it move and i know is alive, what if i fail it and something happens? I really feel like im not coping right now amd its sounds so stupid, especially when there are nicer, more lovely ladies on here who have real problems

Damn it i cant stop crying, im a mental case arent i?

4ever the happy post you have been reading are true, i get moments when i cant wait and have to rush and tell you all how happy i am, but then i crash and scare myself so silly that i write another happy post to try to hide what im feeling.

The case of yourself neeko and curly have made me worried that something is wrong with my lo, but the doctor i had hasnt looked into it...all my appt with her seemed to be a question and answer session, she didnt measure me, check my tummy or things like that...in short i feel slightly pissed off that she didnt give me the best treatment she could of.

Ok ill stop rambling, my face is tight with tears but i do feel better sharing, feel free to ignore me...as mermaid said the horror mones are rife at this stage....

Thankyou x

mls back ache....tell me about it, many hours spent lying on the bed in tears, started a few days after bfp and lasted until about week 11, stopped and then started again....get some gel to numb the area, and tell dh he owes you a nice massage to make up for the lack of dinner my back ache was low and one sided, the worst type if you google. Apparently it can be worse on the side your egg realised on....its going to be fine x

barbie oh barbie you poor thing sitting there in your bin liner - bet you still manage to look glam though.

When I had ds google et al wasn't the beast it is now and so a whole wealth of experience wasn't accessable. Of course no-one hopefully ever talks about the outcomes so in a way I think I was far more cocooned.

Do you think they have circled high risk because of your mc and your anxiety linked to this? Low lying placenta? Is that still low lying?

I can see how you are un-nerved re the dates and I remember all the confusion at the time. I am tempted to say your body will know when its time to have that gorgeous little bean but know that won't allay your fears.

Lastly don't you dare ever hide your wobbles from us. We are all in this together and you have to hang on tightly right now.xx

I am in a bit of a rush cos I have a gym class, me and my headache are both going. I could have taken a waiter home i my pocket sigh must be my age

mls your body is stretching and making a cosy nest. Just go really gently this weekend please.xx

oh dear have i killed the thread with all my moaning

4ever i found a lady on here who also had a 2 cord thingy {blush} sorry i cant remember the term...anyways she went on to have a totally natural labour and perfect baby...ill try to link where i read about her x

Oh Barbie poor you being so worried. You've not long to go now have you? Do you think that the rise in hormones towards the end might be making your anxiety worse? All these things that you mentioned, any of us would be worried about I'm sure, so don't ever feel silly saying them.
It is really scary thinking of giving birth, and not knowing what's going to happen, but you must remember that most of the time everything goes well. Trust in that and try to enjoy the rest of the time being pregnant. Sending you a big hug x

MLS I've had back ache too but I remember reading in my pregnancy journal from ds that it's completely normal and a good sign. Apparently it's because a hormone called Relaxin is relaxing all those muscles ready to grow a big baby Embrace the backache
(I do have to say that that rather detailed journal only lasted 5 days until the ms kicked in!)

Mermaid Hope your headache goes soon and that you have a good time at the gym!

Haven't read back but will try to later. We are trying to get ourselves together to go out for the first time since wednesday - it's so difficult to summon up the motivation

Back later x

Barbieweeble im first time mummy like you so all i can say is that i also share the same anxieties & i imagine that is totally normal.. I cant reassure u on the dates but imagine as mermaid says ur body will kno when the time is right.. When i feel myself working into hysteria, as iv done reguarly in last 2wks i try & think of all the preg ladies in Haiti or slums in India who have no ante natal & things are fine.. It can be a double edged sword being to thoroughly checked & all the info at our fingertips via google.. I was such a state reading every scenario of the 2 vessel cord, for my sanity im not looking it up any more.. When my bro (& mum) had cancer i adopted a what will be will be attitude as i knew all the what iffing & worrying wouldnt change a thing so u have to just put it in gods hands, have faith and acceptance that all will be well.. However that doesnt mean to say we are not all totally entitled to wobble ourselves mad at points, just hopefuly not let it completely overwhelm us & make us ill! Its a year today since my last 4th loss, seems so far but so close, we have to hold onto where we are now & keep believing.. I know its far easier said than done as i thought i saw a spot of red last night (tho not 100% where from) & put myself to bed, did the doppler, freakin at every ache & scared to go loo, dd super active now but im still bit nervous at every twinge, the worries are so normal hon.. Wow bit of a ramble! ....Bless my dh is leaving me in bed while he does the housework as im wobbling! ....Mls i also suffered terribly with my back in early days & couldnt even walk, hopefully its a good sign of deep implantation & raging hormones! ....Monkey just to say continual hand holding for u, im sure ur still in complete surreal auto pilot mode, i remember how numb i was losing my dad.. Hold onto that new life growing inside u for strength .... Mermaid hope a good girly night out was just the tonic? ....Sorry for lack of more individuals, im in bed on pho, bit scared to get up!

Hiya, it's still snowy up here

barbie you are TOTALLY NORMAL with your wobbles. I fretted just like you, the thing is we ALL here about the minority bad things, but most of the time everything goes fine so try and think of that instead, easier said than done at times I know. Like mermaid says you could be high risk because of your low lying placenta. I was classed as normal even though I'd had 2 mc's, but they might class it differently out there. Keep telling us how you are feeling though, don't bottle it up, then we can help you through the wobbles. It is hard to stay sane at this late stage in pregnancy, i was all over the place towards the end, worrying about EVERYTHING. And it doesn't matter if someone is having a worse or better day than you, still post, we don't want you sitting in bin bags and crying, and that goes for all of you,

Hey Barbie try not to worry hon. Unless they told you of any other probs remaining, I think we would all be deemed high risk because of our histories of MC and that is only in the early stages. All of my recent problems were spotted on the scans and are manageable. The main impact is that I can't have the birth I envisaged. Neeko's problems were also spotted and they will manage them. U have had great scans and dating aside things are fine. It is natural to be worried at this stage and anxious about the birth. It sounds like your dr knows her stuff and will readjust your dates if necessary. Try not to google. Your precious baby will be with you soon xxxx

big hugs to 4ever today ever upwards honey. And also to monkey I hope you are doing okay. Hand squeeze for MLS xxx

on phone but will post properly tonight. Waves to mermaid and all lurking. Lovely to see baking and moon on and mucho approving nods at our gym goers. Glad someone is keeping standards high around here

Mad wave to vj too and big hug for always being there for all of us long after your own precious aj is here. It shows how special this forum is xxx

standards?

1. gym 9am (it goes downhill from this point rapidly)
2. 11am huge plate of scrambled eggs,butter,sauce inhaled not eaten.
3. deep bath
4. fall asleep for 3 hours
5. wake to find someone has left me a cup of tea and the papers.

I meant to start on the garden which is neglected - vjay snow again, blimey I suppose the novelty has worn off by now.
but now its nearly dark so natch its wine time nearly and mls has left loads in the greenhouse

4ever am hoping that your lovely cocoon of cotton wool over the weekend softens the weebles a bit.

monkey glad to hear that you are feling well but numb, its so hard.xx

barbie gah its hard int it, all the lovely nursery and all the preparing yourself and all the worry for all these months and all the months before that and now your bean is nearly here the panic sets in good and proper.
Hope you manage to have a mellow weekend anyway, relax, breathe and it will all work itself out.xx

Thanks girls silly me eh??

Im feeling better tonight, the big yummy roast helped some what

I have decided that i will relax and give my baby the best possible start..a relaxed, calm mummy.
I will talk through my fears with the doctor on wednesday, if only for her to tell me im a silly billy and to reassure me even more than you have all done.

My placenta isnt low, hasnt been for some time....the high risk all seems to co-inside with when there was a rise of protien present in my urine, so dh and i are maybe guessing i could of been at a higher risk of pre eclampsia or something along those lines...

The watery discharge at night probably isnt more watery at all...probably due to me wearing nothing in bed i can feel it more i will wear underware tonight to see if its any better....

Im comforting myself that the fetal med scan i had at 20 week was very good and nothing was found to be abnormal....in the uk you only get two scans and i have had more than that so i guess im very lucky in that sense, and nothing has been picked up since (apart from baby having big lips?? i will not google big lips....i will not google.....)

Im guessing the horrormones and total boredom hence google and looking at threads on here best left un opened had unhindged me slightly...talking about it has helped, i promise not to sit crying in my bin liner any longer!

mermaid loving the downhill slide in your day after the gym....sounds like my kind of rewards for going to the gym!

monkey your kind words had me in tears and made me think about all of the above. You are one very strong lady, helping me with silly fears while you are going through a much harder time, thankyou x

4ever whispers....could the blood be fro your bottom??? remember gg had a scare about the same time and it turned out to be piles...or have you got a dh like mine who is hard to say no too and maybe caused a little bit of cervical bleeding?

vjay the fact that you are superwomen and even you managed to weeble in the last week strangley reassured me...thankyou for your kind words, they really helped. As did you curly im sorry you cant have the kind of birth you wanted...but at the end of the day its just a means to a end, what matters is the lo is safe and well. Ill do whatever it takes to complete this long journey. You will be fine...cant wait to find out your chosen name

Thanks again girls....might just get a half decent nights sleep tonight xxx

Glad to hear u feelin better barbie wobblings normal hon! Think my spot was from behind, not same as my cervical erosion bleed 2wks ago.. Also the swabs they took did show thrush so used canestan on wed & excessive discharge seems better so stopped weebling about leakin fluid (also as cervix def shut at tues scan!) Only thing is my urine also showed protein & white blood cells (poss infection) on thurs ante natal but prob cos of canestan & bp low so not worrying too much, think i used my worry quota up this month! Anyway am stayin wrapped in cotton wool, we lit our 4angel candle for it being a year today since lost our last angel baby & gonna be very slow & easy & cuddle up to dh til mon & the start of a new month thank god!

Evening lovelies.
4ever thinking of you on another nasty anniversary but I love what barbie said about doing anything it takes to complete this long journey... you are now one step further along it.

Hi bq so great to see you, hope you'll be back with us a bit more soon

mermaid yay to a girls night out! Hope it was fab, you deserve it!

MLS sorry to hear about the back pain and that is freaky about the website you'd been on last year but take comfort in barbie's experience! This is the sticky bean.

barbie you poor girl, so much worrying must be stressful not knowing if you're going to have an overcooked baby or not. What 4ever said about women in the developing world is a very good point though - your body will know. I really hope you will go into natural labour in the next couple of weeks and put this weebling to rest. (And must just be a beautiful girl with big pouty Angelina lips )

Vjay I'm so looking forward to Ajay's virtual christening...we should have it during the week before the actual one.

My back is a lot better today..saw some lovely houses but dh and I can't agree I am just getting to the point where I want somewhere for my baby to sleep to be honest.

Hi all. Saturday night, I've been in my jammies for almost an hour and I'm on here - rock n roll!

Barbie i know and remember how frightening the final stages can be. I've mentioned on here before that my DH used to come in from the gym to find me on my birthing ball wailing my head off. I think you're probably high risk as Mermaid said because of the bleeding and the placenta. I'm guessing it has moved else they'd be talking c-section.
I'm not sure how much this will help but when my friend with the prem baby had her feedback session with her consultant he told her that a baby born after 32 weeks is unlikely to have any significant problems (which would fit in with them talking about Blue's Ben being born then.) Try to be assured that the people who deliver your baby know what they're doing and will monitor you carefully. I'm quite stressed at the idea of something meaning I'd have to have a c-section (after the ERPC I never want to be in the OR again) but as my mum said it's not about the process but the outcome.
This ramble probably hasn't helped but sending you a huge hug in any case.

MLS still lots of here. Can you try your birthing ball for your back? What about swimming? Hope you picked your new car. BTW Doritos for dinner?

Monkey special big hug for you brave lady at this most difficult of times. Just keep taking it moment by moment and know that we're here for you for all your wobbles.

BQ Lovely to hear from you. Sorry things are hard right now. We'll be right her when you come back to us.

Mermaid Lovely to see a glimmer of the old you (and I don't mean the alcohol ) Had a huge snort of laughter at the waiter comment!

4ever Post us a link to your DD's moses basket so we can ooh and aah. Hope you're over the initial panic and are allowing yourself to dream again.

Vjay Think you have to decide on the date for the virtual christening and send out virtual invites. Can we all be virtual godmothers?

MrsKate Hope things are well with you. Can't be long now til you stop.

Blue Had a big smile at your DH trying to multi-task.

Sorry have to run. DD has a bladder infection and has just woken up Love to all.

Seems I'd missed a page

4ever a belated hug for another sad anniverary. Won't be long now til Feb. FWIW I think under the circumsytances you're doing brilliantly.

Cupcake Pull rank on the house front and use the hormonal-pregnant-woman think if neccesary. Glad you're back's a bit better.

Monkey Hope you made it out today.

Mermaid The garden will wait and the food was burned off at the gym before you ate it.

Vjay Yup - you're definitely a teacher in the making!

Last day of January..... Spring is nearly here (my daff bulbs are peeking through .

Barbie - honey, honey, hope you are feeling more relaxed today. The last few weeks are tough when you're so nearly there and have too much time on your hands to google etc. I was paranoid about still birth too and kept playing the ER episode when Carter's son was still born over my head . One of the (many) awful horrible things about pg post-mc is that we never truly believe - hence the knicker checking at 39 weeks, worrying about lack of movement, worrying about just bloody everything. The minute your pouting lo is placed in your arms all that has gone before with disappear in that second. Its the best feeling in the world bar NONE and you only have a few weeks to wait. A holw new set of worries start revolving around feeding/sleeping etc but that's for another day .

4ever - big hug for your fourth lost angel. Hope your feeling more chilled too x

Neeko - I forgot to post about your friend, really hope she is OK and cherishing her DS. It must be so hard and strange and bittersweet for her . How's your DD today? Not long now til you finish up and get some well earned rest!

Vjay - more snow - hurrumph! Its glorious here, bright blue sky and v. cold but in a life affirming way. I've just been looking through the new 'Boden' catalogue and thee are some sweet things in there what would look great at Ajay's virtual christening. Are you putting him in a gown? We have a family rolbe thats over 100 years old. My Mum, Aunts, sistersm me, DS1 etc all wore it and Ben will too just to continue the humiliation tradition

cupcake - hope you and your DH find yor drema house soon. Nothing like an impending baby to make you get your finger royally out!

Mermaid - how are the limbs today after your gym sesh?

curly - not long now....

MLS - did you get a decent dinner in the end?

We (DS1 and 2 and me) stayed at the in-laws last night as DH had his 'wetting of the baby's head' night oot and stayed at home so I managed to avoid his post-pub ramblings/chinese/beersoaked breath. babyben was good as gold during the night, fed at 1am and 4am and settled really quickly. MIL cooking up a huge fatmanfryup so its tattie scones a go-go for me - bring it on!

Love to all x

Hello would you all be Ajays cyber godmothers , I think we should have the virtual christening on the week leading up to his, who wants to dunk him?

blue we don't have a family robe, which is a shame cos I think that's lovely. DS1 got christened in a wee pair of trousers, shirt, waistcoat and bow tie, he looked vey cute and slept through the whole thing. For Ajay I had found a lovely cream satin romper but it will be too cold, so am going to try and find something like DS1's but cream or white in colour

Off to watch a dvd with ds1, it something about raining meatballs of something

I've never been to a christening before or asked to be a godmother, even if it is in cyber world. I'm so excited!

You can all be fairy godmothers, so the dress code is wings and wands

Lucky I have both! Can I also wear a tiara??

Oooohhhh yes. I live in a house full of boys, even the cat and dog are boys, not sure about the fish , but probably a boy, so lets make it as girly as poss

oh Vjay - the cream romper suit sounds lovely a la Prince William circa 1983 on the lawn of Clarence House...

Thanks for cyber invitiation, I'll be there, looking slightly harassed and unkempt secretly breastfeeding Ben!

Think its lovely that we have the first Christening of our first graduate .

Hi Sabs - how's Saara this week? Any new milestones met?