Why is ttc no.4 proving so difficult??

[mynameis]

Ok have 3 dc's only the youngest is with my partner.

First pregnancy (13 years ago) was with clomid but next two were natural conceptions
my youngest is 4.

We started ttc Jan this year and I have gone on to have two miscarriages (5wks & 8wks)

This month seem to have had a chemical pregnancy as had two + tests two days before AF but it has now arrived today.

We are beside ourselves now with where to go from here. I feel that my age (37) is going to be a big factor in my future fertility.

Any advice or top tips would be greatly appreciated!

Oh and meant to say already had some bloods done (on me not dp) and they were all fine

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I had my first two children without any problems and when we decided we wanted a third child we expected it to happen quickly.

It didn't. It took two miscarriages and a year to become successfully pregnant; but it did happen.

Fertility does decline when you get older but 37 is not too old and the fact that you have three children already is a good sign.

Try and relax, have plenty of sex, book a holiday if you can and speak to your GP again.

I hope someone else comes along soon with better advice!

Thanks Belgo, I don't know if there is any better advice than the things you have suggested.

Its just hard to put the 'relax' thing into practise

I know it's a vicious circle! The harder you try and relax the more stressful it becomes!

Many women have miscarriages, nearly all of my friends have, but they have all gone on to have successful pregnancies.

Also the obvious things: stopping smoking, drinking, eating healthily - I'm sure you know them all - but maybe they do tip the balance of probability for some women.

Hey, I am sorry you are having such a hard time.

For what its worth, my understanding is that early m/cs / chemical pregnancies are both related to likely chromosomal abnormalities, more frequent with age. On the plus side, you are definitely doing alot right - you have achieved 3 pregnancies in a year, so that rules out loads of potential problems. (I am not underestimating the impact of your losses x)

My guess would be if you really want it & keep trying you will get there. ttc no 3 I had 4 m/c. I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit at st marys in London, dont know where you live, but they said in view of previous successful pregs, probably no underlying abnormality - I guess will be same for you, but you might be reassured to get checked out somewhere?

Otherwise if you are sure you want to keep going despite the heartache I wish you every bit of luck & I'm sure you will succeed eventually.

Thanks ladies

We have decided to speak to the gp and see where we go from here.

I keep thinking that I don't want it to become an issue that takes over our life but its become so easy to define the month around ovulation and then the two week wait

Ugh think I need a holiday

mynameis - just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I am ttc#4, and have had 4 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies in the last year. It is hard. I have had tests done but nothing was found. I am with a fertility clinic at the moment, but not feeling very hopeful, they have given me Low dose naltrexone to try due to the repeated miscarriages, but I have not started it yet.

It is tough emotionally. I am 41 and have decided that in 6 months time I am going to stop trying for dc4, but until then just try to relax about it (easier said than done) and see if I can hold onto any future pregnancy.

I hope you get your dc4 soon.

Hi rainbowdays I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time of it too.

I know what you mean about not feeling very hopeful, I have said to dp that it will be even harder to go to a fertility clinic for them to tell us that they can't find any reason for the miscarriages.

I want us to have some cut off point where we say enough is enough but dp won't even consider that option at the moment.
His desperation for another child makes me feel like a big failure.

Here's hoping we both have a dc 4 in 2010!

Hi rainbowdays. I have just had bfp with DC4. I'm hoping it's a sticky one.

I went on to agnus castus and 100mg B6 to regulate hormones as I had two chemical pgs in a row (hoping this isn't one as has bfp on 12dpo)and, one month later, bingo, I hope. I was also having bloods done and they came back normal (had doc call me with my day21 today so gave her the good news).

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. 37 is not old - I am 40, so try not to worry and very best of luck to you and mynameis.

mynameis - hope you had a good christmas, and feeling rested (if that is possible with three excited children!)

I have just started acupuncture, and was wondering if you had considered it? Many people attribute their getting and staying pregnant with it.

IloveGreg - congrats on your pregnancy, I have heard of people taking agnus catus and will look for more information on it, hope your pregnancy is progressing well.

Hi

You will see that Low Dose Naltrexone is used in an infertility clinic in Galway, Ireland. It is also used for autoimmune diseases. I know somebody who is on it for MS having being prescribed by North Staffordshire Hospital where other patients are benefitting. A very interesting drug which has been around for a long time but in higher doses for drug addicts.

I just saw this thread pop up again. How is everyone?

My update is that I am currently pregnant again, and waiting on scans to see if things are ok.

Woohoo Rainbowdays thats fantastic!

I have been to gp who was a wee bit on the sarky side 'oh you have 3 children you will never be considered for ivf' erm i wasn't asking for ivf just reassurance that everything is functioning!

Anyway he has said to come back in April and he will refer me but he is confident I will conceive again. Glad he is

Would love to hear more about the acupuncture rainbowdays