Did you get an urge to have baby #2?

[decafgirl]

I definately had an uncontrollable need for baby number 1 but we're now contemplating baby number 2 which I've always said I want but I don't feel that irresistable urge if you know what I mean. Is that normal?

Any advice greatly appreciated...

Well... it took me 5 years to get the over-whelming feeling the second time.. but I got it eventually. I don't think I'd have ever had a second baby otherwise.

I never really had the overwhelming urge first time round as DD wasn't planned (although I was in serious denial I think), but now we're planning a second child I'm very broody indeed.

I think it probably is normal though, the mystery of being pregnant, childbirth and actually raising a child isn't there with a second so it's bound to feel different.

Having a second child is often for different reasons, e.g. to complete the family, provide a sibling, as opposed to a first child which is a monumental lifestyle shift from being a couple.

Although a lot of it is driven by instinct IMHO.

Who knows, if the urge is less forceful perhaps TTCing might be more relaxed and fun .

Sorry, didn't make much sense, meant to say

I think it probably is normal (what you're feeling) though

Agree with CrazyLady - am desperate for a dc2, so much so it hurts, and ttc is not much fun anymore

Maybe because you've always been sure you want another one your body has just become used to that and you don't 'feel' it so much anymore?

The subconcious probably has something to do with it too - you know how it feels to be pg, give birth etc and the feelings of possibly having to do all that again may be mixed up with not feeling 'the need' to have another one ifkwim.

For ages we were just going to have 1, but now I have the urge for a second, just got to convince dh too. Dd is 4.8 so it took a while for the urge to hit me, although I think I've been in denial for a while. But for others its just a natural progression. I don't think its unusual to feel how you do.

Yes I did have the urge but it was a long time coming. I think it is natural to feel this way, first time round you don't really know what to expect whereas second time you are aware of the negatives as well as the positives. You also have to take your first childs needs into account as well which I think can dilute the urge iyswim.

Thanks everyone, I do feel excited about the prospect of having another baby but it does feel more of a practical decision. Have decided to take folic acid until Feb then take it from there...ooh!

Sounds like a plan decaf. I found out last week I'm actually pregnant already! Wasn't expecting it at all as we weren't trying yet, but am 5 weeks and baby due in August

congratulations, that's lovely news! When are you due? X

Definately got the urge second time round more than first. I knew I didnt want a huge age gap but it took a while to pluck up the courage as birth was still a very vivid memory. Once we had made the decision the real broodiness seemed to start from them. Definately more of a practical decision initially though.

Still remember birth, but forgot the crappiness of ms though. Glad thats just passed at 16 weeks , not wanting to put anyone off though.

Thanks decaf. This will be an August baby. Not looking forward to being massively pregnant in the summer heat (DD was a winter baby), but at least we won't need much in the way of clothes for newborn DC2!

No overwhelming, but I did start noticing a lot of women with "toddler + bump" and thinking, 'I'm ready for that to be me'. IYKWIM.

Never ever felt broody.

Currently expecting No4 .

I am admittedly not that smitten with newborns but like children, so kind of just put up with the first to get the latter IYKWIM.

Good luck, decaf!

DS was unplanned and while a lovely shock, a massive shock. The whole thing, pregnancy, life changing maternity leave,DH-me balance, touch of PND, demands of child, change of social life, working mum balance, losing old friends, gaining new friends, total change in priorities, body up 4stone, down 4stone, etc etc...

Despite always being 'maternal' and knowing I'd want two, I was dreading DC2 and got pregnant with a heavy heart feeling like DC2 was for my DC1 and DH more than for me.

Was DELIGHTED to discover that on arrival, I actually fell in love instantly (was NOT like this first time) and have to say that this child is soooo definitely my gift to myself!

Second time is harder in some ways, but surprisingly easy in others. I would imagine totally normal to feel a little less excited after living the reality once and feeling satisfied with DH and DC1, but if you are brave enough, you never know, you might end up having an even better experience than you ever expected with the next child.

Wow, what a lovely post leavinglondon so pleased it worked out for you. As the weeks go on I'm on here more, I'm buying pregnancy and birth and I'm getting more and more excited.

I keep thinking about the joy of the positive test, the first scan, people's faces when you tell them...

Am taking my temperature every morning and I take a 'wellwoman' vitamin which has all the folic acid I'll need but also has clever things to keep my stupid cycles in check. Fingers crossed for February everyone! xx

PS) Also find myself rather jealous of all the lovely BFPs I keep reading about!