after a year of trying and getting nowhere, we're off to the doctors, please come and tell me what to expect

[tiredfeet]

we've been ttc for over a year now, so going to book a trip to the gp. I would be really grateful if people could tell me what to expect to be asked / what to ask etc. As I'm just not sure what to expect

presumably DH should come too (I know its probably a stupid question!)?

any tips would be welcomed, it feels like such a big (and hard) step to take, although another part of me will be glad to get things moving.

it was yrs back but the first thing thay did with me wast to check i was ovulating.

You don't neccessarily always 'ovulate' every month anyway apparently, so this cuts it down.

I think i had to give a blood test at a certain time?
After that, we went for a scan of my uterus, and ex dh did a sperm sample/

All was ok.

I conceived naturally in the end, after about 3 yrs.

The GP may refer you straight away to the hospital without doing any tests beforehand. On the other hand the GP may want to do some simple tests for you; these would include blood tests for you and a semen analysis for him. These tests should be repeated anyway at the hospital under their supervision.

If you have had a history of painful and or irregular periods I would certainly mention that and look into being referred sooner rather than later. GPs are generalists and are certainly not experts in dealing with potential fertility problems.

Try to go together if at all possible and write down anything you want to ask the GP beforehand. No question is daft.

GP will probably want to send you for a blood test to check you're ovulating and a semen test for your DH. I don't think any hosptial would accept you for a referral without GP doing some basic tests. Having said that, they will probably do them again anyway! Blood test needs to be taken on day 21 of your cycle IIRC.

Once referred, the hospital will probably want to scan your uterus and ovaries and then monitor you throughout one monthly cycle in the first instance but consultant will talk it through with you before any treatment starts. Good luck with it all.

All of the above was my experience when we first went to GP.

Me - bloods on day 21 to check I had ovulated
DH - sperm test (then repeat test 3 months alater as it was found to be low)

then -

refered to the fertility unit of our local hospital who did further tests on me, when they were clear we were advised of what they felt the problem was and we were told the courses of action open to us.

Hope you get the all clear with everything and your bfp comes very soon.

thanks everyone for this, at least I know a bit about what to expect now.

piratecat - lovely to know you managed to conceive naturally in the end, even if it took a long time. I could bear the wait if I could be sure it would happen eventually! am trying to stay positive though, so I do like stories like yours

god I wonder why I bothered taking the pill so diligently for 5 years!

Thanks for raising this tiredfeet. I'm on cycle 13 and we've decided to give it till Christmas then go see the GP. I too wasn't sure if I do it alone, or need to take DH with me. Hope all goes well with your appointment and you get your BFP soon.

I think, from memory, I went to my GP on my own first of all, and she arranged for me to come back and have day 2 and day 23 blood tests later that month, and also for DH to go and see his doctor to get a sperm test arranged.

Once all these tests had come back not showing any obvious problem, we were referred as a couple to the sub-fertility unit at the hospital. Here they did a couple of more invasive tests for me, and came up with a plan for treatment going forward.

Best of luck with the docs anyway - my friend tried for 2 years to get pregnant, finally made the appointment with her GP and got pregnant that very month. Hopefully just making a GP appointment will be enough for both Tiredfeet and YorkshireTeaDrinker to get BFPs.

hanaflower, thanks, yes I finally bought a copy a couple of months ago. I agree, its really helpful. I would definitely recommend it to other people. But it is kind of what convinced me to go to the doctors, because I then absolutely knew we had been trying at the right time.

yorkshireteadrinker - hope you get your BFP soon. I have never ever had one and I just can't imagine getting one , think I will collapse if I ever do!!

I think I keep thinking that just because we've got to this point I will never get pregnant naturally, and the stories give me hope. equally, at least science has progressed so there might be more possibilities. Although guttingly I wouldn't be able to get ivf on the NHS until I'm 38 (10 years away!), trying not to think to hard about that, it makes me too cross!

does anyone know any good sources of advice for coping with the emotional side of fertility problems? Its hard on both of us at times. I try just plodding along and not thinking about it, but sometimes its just so unbearable.

I have to say that when I went I lied about how long we'd been trying ( I turned a year into 2) because I'd heard you had to have been trying for 2 years before you'd be referred. I knew something was wrong with me anyway because my periods were ridiculous- I'd been on the pill to control them before trying to conceive.
As it turned out when we were tested at hospital-dh was fine and I had to have an immediate cystectomy to remove the largest cysts that were caused by my severe endometroisis (sp?).
The consultant advised ivf as he'd never seen such severe endometoisis. I went private because the wating list was so long for ivf. I had 2 cycles of ivf over 3 years and have 3 dc (2nd time conceived twins)!
It was such a relief to get things moving because I knew something was wrong and I knew it was affecting my fertility.