What are the chances of an accidental pregnancy happening over the space of 15 years

[Disenchanted3]

DH doesn't want anymore children, I have 3 beautiful little ones already and I'm not going to force the issue despite the thought of DD being my last bringing tears to my eyes!

I would never try to 'accidentlly' have a baby behind his back, the guilt wou;d overwhelm me but my mum had 4 girls, 3 of us unplanned! So I'm pretty sure true accidents do happen.

So is it awful of me to ask 'do you think we could end up with anbother accidently'?

If DH doesn't want any more children, the answer is simple- tell him to get the snip.

They wont let him as he is too young, I don't think he actually means it, he coos over babies more than me, but I guess only time will tell if he does or not.

Reading back my OP I sound a bit awful but I mean it in a totally innocent way,

well, all contraception has a failure rate, not sure of exact stats, but with the pill, i think 1 % failure rate? maybe the same for condoms?

so odds are you won't , but it is of course, possible.

you are both too young to say never, you need to wait until you are both well, happy and settled anyway, but you could well have an accident as it were, but i would not bank on it, if you want more children you need to sort it out properly

Too young? I think you're being had, sorry, there are no minimum ages in suc a procedure. The fact that you've completed your family should be enough. I think you obviously want another, but doing it 'accidentally' is not the way to go about it. I have known many a relationship break up over that very deception. If he doesn't want any more than he is the one who needs to take responsibility for it imo.

Personally, I'm not convinced about accidents. Lots of people have unplanned pregnancies, sure, but they seem to always have a backdrop of not very careful condom use or erratic pill taking.

In the 16 years of sex life before I TTC, I didn't get pg (and didn't have issues conceiving, just staying pg), and I know lots of women who have never had an accident when they really didn't want to be pg.

If you do want to be pg, then it seems very easy to have an accident though. Which is deceitful imo

Of course its decietful, whic is why I made clear I would not do that ever,

Guess I am gripping at straws,

I am a very broody kind of person and would have a dozen kids if I could but our circumstances do not permit so perhaps it is something I need to start getting my head around

My ILs were using condoms and the pill when MIL fell pg with SIL. They to this day cannot believe it. They were very careful, FIL was waiting for the snip. Of course it happens as contraception has a failure rate. You can use it properly and carefully and most will not get pg but a handful will. The only guarantee is celibacy.

My dh has also been refused a vasectomy as he is too young so not so after all.

Friend's dh had to go privately for a vasectomy too as he was considered too young by the NHS.

well DS2 was an unplanned moment of extreme drunkeness where I'd missed a few of my pill, and neither of us remember to use a condom .

Ds3 - very similar - except I took the MAP.

Had a close shave the other week when the condom got lost

My mum fell pg with me 6 weeks after having had the coil fitted.

My cousin had her 2nd while religiously taking the pill and her DH was waiting for the snip.

I think the chances of a genuine accident are very slim indeed - especially if you'r enot a "super fertile" type (I am - unplanned very likely round these parts seen as though I've already had one escape the MAP as well ).

Not sure if there's an "age" thing round here - but I do know that that DH will almost certainly have to go private when he has the snip (can't remember why now but I asked about it after DS3 was born and was told he'd have to go private )

I don't think it would be sensible for dh to consider a vasectomy when you feel the way you do.

After this baby we have decided not to have any more children but would not consider a vasectomy or sterialisation as it is too final.

I agree dollshouse,

I don't think it would e fair for him to get the snip when I don't feel our family is complete in the same way it would not e fair for me to knowingly get pregnant when he does not want me too.

I think its a case of just eing very careful iover the next few years and reviewing where we are in a bout 3 years when DD startes school

With reference to 'accidents' I fell pregnant 8 years ago whilst taking the pill (Microgynon). I had been taking it for 3 years with no problems, took it religiously 9.30pm every day and no, I had no illness or reason for it not to work, not taking any medication etc. It just failed on me. I know exactly when I conceived because my boyfriend (now husband) was working away and I only saw him once that month for 2 days and we only were intimate once in that time.

It was awful because I was not wanting a baby at all at that stage. As it was I lost the baby at 6 weeks.

Just saying, accidents really do happen and there is always that small percentage of failure rates. I was one of them! Now 8 yrs later I'm trying to conceive and its hard work! Sods law....