Cant cope anymore!!!!!!! rant needed

[Broodymomma]

So after 6 years of trying, 3 rounds of ivf and a frozen embryo transfer I have my gorgeous almost 3 year old boy. We have been trying now for 25 monthd to get pg with another child, i know its unlikely to happen but I just cant take the trying anymore. Im sick of using the CBFM and having sex on demand.

I know its not the case but it seems every other day I am congratulation someone on their pregnancy and having to grit my teeth at them complaining about how long it took (3 months the last one!!. I know its nobody's fault that I cant get pregnant but Im just fed up that this has been so difficult for us, am sick of feeling sorry for myself all the time and wish i could just give up and be content with the beautiful child I have and thank my lucky stars for ivf.

Sorry for the me post I just needed a rant!

Hi, A friend of mine tried for a few years to become pregnant without fail.......they eventually decided on IVF which again unfortunately was not successful.....they later decided upon adoption. An appointment was made further into their regular meetings to discuss " a possible child" but the wife wasnt feeling to well so had to cancel.......when she attended the doctors he advised she may be pregnant which was unbelievable.......they think that as they were constantly "worrying" over getting pregnant month by month that it had an effect. It was only after they had turned to a different route and she had relaxed accepting she wouldn't have a child naturally that she fell pregnant.....the moral of the story is Relax, make love when you want to...........good luck

Quite! Unless you have had month after relentless month of TTC disappointment, it is probably hard to understand how utterly demoralising it is, and how pat stories about adoption and relaxing do nothing to help.

Broodymomma I know exactly how you feel and it is nothing short of soul-destroying. I think it can be bad for men to have the monthly disappointment, but the fact is that for women we have to spend at least some time every single day doing something fertility-related and you never really get a break.

A couple of months ago I had a bit of a paddy and said I was having a month off from the OPKs and temping, just needed the break and couldn't bear investing so much time and emotional energy in it. I am 37 so feeling that I can't really let up the trying, but still I think that one month of being (a bit) more free and easy about it helped my mental energy a little. In the end I went back to temping again as I just don't know what my cycle is doing without that help and it is less stressful to suck it up and do that than to be totally in the dark.

Is there any option for you to take your foot off the gas a bit for a month and leave the CBFM out of the equation?

Broodymomma - dont be sorry for needing to rant. I do think people are trying to be positive when telling of how couples just "relaxed" and fell pregnant naturally. Noone wants to make you feel worse.

Thanks eveeryone. Thats one of the hardest things about it is that poor people who try to say things to help just cant do right for doing wrong. Im sick of people walking on egg shells around me, why should they I want to share in their happiness but I just seem to have hit a wall.

To be honest the stories of other peoples success give me hope but yes it can be very much "well why cant that be me".

Month after monthe goes past and I hit 35 in february feels like any chance i may have is slipping away. I feel guilty that I am like this when I have a son and so many people are still struggling to conceive their first. In fairness I know that trying for 3 - 6 months for some people feels like forever but I just want to scream at them!!!!

Going to go and play with my son now and try to remember how lucky I am. Cerubina I am going to take your tio and have a month off next month, pack the cbfm away till the new year perhaps then get going again then.

Best wishes to everyone ttc

oh Broodymomma you are allowed to rant! but like you say, do enjoy your boy, but don't feel guilty about finding it hard sometimes, I find having a little vent (into my pillow or something!) really helps

I've been trying to conceive my first for a year and a bit now, going to see doctor in december to get the ball rolling for fertility treatment.

janjan those 'just relax' stories are irritating and thoughtless, it doesn't take much research to know that lots of fertility problems are entirely unrelated to stress.

Broodymomma, you are definately not alone in how you feel, and Cerubina summed it up perfectly when she said it was nothing short of soul-destroying. DH and I started trying 21 months ago for dc number 2. Two miscarriages and a load of heartache later we are still going.
We have also been using the CBFM for the last few months, but I'm considering giving it a break as then maybe I'll be able to concentrate on something else for a while (impossible I know, but will try...)
I do believe in fate, and it helps me to think that my path is laid out for me. We either will have a much longed for second child, or we won't, and I shall have to come to terms with that.
It is so very difficult when other people seem to conceive so easily, and for me the kick in the teeth is when other people seem to sail through pregnancy without a problem. There must be so many people out there feeling the way we do now, and there must have been a lot of people who maybe struggled with our happy news the first time round. I never thought of that then...
I do have to say that what struck me when reading your OP was the determination you showed first time round. To go through 6 years of trying must've been exhausting, but you did it. Who's to say it won't happen again?
Anyway, not sure what I'm trying to say by writing this, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and there are other people out there who know how hopeless you must feel x