Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

It's so nice that this thread has become active again - lots of hand holding through the difficult bits!

ItalianGreyhound I know the feeling with the - after 5 days on cyclogest I seem to have swapped mine for Jordan's, and I am not happy about it! Quite interesting being on it though, I currently have nausea every morning, twinges and ow the soreness, and the mini mes haven't even gone back in yet, so I can quite understand why people confuse progesterone symptoms with pregnancy! Am hoping this will mean I'll be all calm and level headed and resist testing until the due date

FWIW I would also be tempted to go back to the 2 small pricks (as it were) - sounds painful at the moment, which probably means you tense up before each jab, which makes them more painful etc etc.

Kiwi, great that you think you should be clear for work. Your boss sounds like a psycho hosebeast, tiptoeing around her sensibilities must be exhausting. And I bet she thinks she's such a great manager as well!

RosieBeagle, hope you're keeping a clear head and relaxing nicely

Islegrin sending lots of 'lining thickening' vibes across the Pacific to you as you prepare for next week and the imminent commencement of crazy obsessive I know it's far too early testing!

Thanks everyone for the good wishes for tomorrow - fingers crossed some of them are still blooming and thriving! If we have 2 left, we'll go for both (cue battle with Guy's no doubt) - I know too many people who put 2 in and got pregnant with a singleton and I know we'd regret it if we went with 1 and it didn't work.

And hello to everyone I forgot!

Sorry BB, have a con starting at 3! But I could do 3 on Monday if that would work?

Will be thinking of you tomorrow, Penguin.

Hope everyone has something nice lined up for the weekend.

Well I did finally get to see the first episode of LOST (thanks to my dvr), it was pretty good but those two hours seemed like only one. Sideways flashing is a new trick, we'll see how it all pans out.

Penguin I woke up counting days for you! I hope all goes smoothly and you get your two for tomorrow! Thinking of you.

Cerubina I've started to turn that corner myself, not really hoping on non-treatment cycles. It's a bit sad but also a relief!

Scan and blood tests for me today, to make sure we're a go for next week. Holding off excitement to a moderate level... for as long as I can stand it! Off to a work site, now.

Hi Ladies,

Was wondering if I could join you? Have been reading this thread for the last couple of weeks (feel a bit stalker-ish) when I found out that we'd come to the top of the waiting list and could start our ICSI treatment on my next cycle.

Brief(ish) history: Came off the pill on my 30th birthday (had been on Dianette for 12 years) and didn't have a period for 9 months. After quite a few pregnancy tests (!) I mentioned it to the doctor on a visit for something else and he said he wasn't concerned but as he was sending me for a blood test anyway he would do some "reproductive-type" tests which came back clear apparently (no idea what he tested for). He said to come back a year later if my periods hadn't sorted themselves out. So I did - as they hadn't - and (different doctor) sent me straight off to the sub-fertility clinic (dontcha just love that phrase!) on account of my age (quite surprised as I was only 31, I thought he would tell me to come back when I was 35). Anyway to cut what is becoming a long story short, I was diagnosed with PCOS and DH with crappy sperm (low count/ low motility/ high abnormal-ness etc etc) and in August they put us on what we were told to expect a 12 month waiting list for ICSI.

We?re now going to start a short protocol cycle of ISCI at the beginning of March and TBH I have been freaking out a little bit, although I am starting to calm down a bit now.

I don?t know anyone else who has been through this and although my friends are supportive I?m the only one who is TTC or even starting to think about having babies (they all think they?ve got forever ? ha!) and still say things like ?It might happen if you chill out about?. You girls all seem like such a supportive and friendly gang ? please can I play with you?

idream of course, c'mon in and make yourself comfy. Plenty of stories and perspectives to go around, in this thread. I know it all seems like a lot and a bit frantic when you get started, but it's kinda like paint by numbers. Just do what they say, one step at a time. We'll help out as much as possible along the way. Congrats on being on the wait list such a short time! You must be excited to finally get started.

Hi Islegrin,
Thanks for your message
I do feel, after reading other people's posts about shoddy treatment from GPs / clinics, that we've had a pretty good experience so far - and it was such a shock to find out that we were at the top of the list that I burst into tears!
I must admit, though, now that you've said it, "excited" isn't actually one of the things I've been feeling - I've been too busy fretting and worrying (I have a long list of things to fret about!). But maybe it's time to start getting a bit more excited - DH certainly is!

Rosie hang in there! The 2WW is sooooooo long. Have you started manic symptom spotting yet? Maybe you?re more in control than that!

Italian our EC is due 1 March, so ET would be around 4 March. I think I?d be too terrified to go to blasts, and anyway that would be another 2 days in Greece complete with hotel bills, so I?d be happy with a 3 day transfer. I have the shooting (.)(.) pains too ? thanks for finding out what they are!

Penguin everything?s crossed for your transfer tomorrow! Lots of warm, welcoming, snuggling down vibes?

Kiwi your boss sounds like a complete witch! Fortunately I don?t have that situation, but I do have all-male bosses and peers and the whole baby thing would be seen, subconsciously and in a completely un-malicious way, as a vote against having career ambitions. I managed the first cycle without telling anyone, but by the second I had to tell my boss and PA, as there was no way I could keep juggling scans etc. They were both great. But I am no longer his pick to succeed him (he?s going for promotion), and a very capable and respected male colleague, who already has kids, is now his unofficial deputy ? my spot for the previous year. It?s a complete minefield and I?m sure you?re right to keep it to yourself. I haven?t told anyone about this final cycle ? they think I?m over it and I don?t want them to think otherwise unless there?s something real to tell them!

*Isle how?s that positive thinking coming along? You?ve highlighted a difference between UK clinics and the rest of the world ? in my experience, even the good ones tell you what the schedule is, even if you?re paying masses of wonga for the privilege. I was amazed going to the Greek clinic to find that they would organise the dates around me! They even moved the expected EC date last week when I found their first one was clashing with a big work thing ? never had anything like that before! How nice that you have a supportive colleague at work ? I can imagine that would make a real difference during the bad days. Mind you, not having anyone at work to talk to about it has meant that work is my infertility-free space, iykwim, which has some advantages too.

I confess I?m actually starting to think that this might work? I?m sure it?ll wear off soon!

Yes, it would be nice to hear from Mummycat, Gingerwine and MamaChris ? anyone out there?

Waves to all!

Idreaminchocolate Welcome and all the best with your treatment. It?s a shame you don?t know anyone else in your area who is going through this. Actually, there might be someone nearby who is. It is totally up to you who you tell and how open you are about it but you may find if you speak to people in social circles, whatever, you find someone else who is going through it or has been through it. But, as I say, you may not want to speak to people about it. I think it is easier for me as I have a child who is 5 (dd) and many of my friends now have kids and have had a second or third. Actually, I only know one other lady who has had the treatment we are having (with donor eggs) and another lady who had IVF and one other who has had IUI (which we had for our dd). Anyway, I guess they are out there but I hope you will feel you get some great support on here. In some ways it is nice to be able to moan and ask questions annonymously.

Please don?t freak out too much, it is really exciting, at times it can be painful or embarrassing but it really is all worth it.

Cerubina It?s interesting that you aren?t daydreaming about it but I?ve just realised that you mean when you are not having a cycle of treatment. When we found out we had got our donor I dreamt I was pregnant! A nice dream.

Kiwi Just imagine how great it will be one day to be able to tell your moany boss that you are pregnant and not only pregnant but also delighted about it!

Penguindreams Really wishing you all the best and hoping for a wonderful result. I used to read this thread and wonder why people got so excited about each others bfps etc but now I do understand! . Would you have a battle with Guys if you wanted two put back, are they anti- putting two in? I thought two was pretty standard or am I behind the times?

Islegrin Thinking of you, please stay positive. Thinking of you sipping a cool drink by a pool in sunshine, yes, I bet it is nothing like that but don?t spoil the dream! When I first read your posts I thought you might be Scottish and imagined a windy, wind-swept island in Scotland! Ah the power of the imagination!

Bumpless So sorry to hear you have the pains in boobs. Do get anything checked out that you are not happy with. My GP said it is always good to get things checked out and he used to work in a breast clinic.

Waves to all.

Hi all. Thinking of you, Penguindreams, today.

Hi to Idreaminchocolate I am new to this thread too and have found everyone really welcoming and helpful.

My period still hasn't arrived. Cerubina, like you I am enjoying the first month in ages where I've not been thinking that I might be pregnant. I am so keen to get started on the microgynon as it will feel like I have started on the road forward. Still, didn't stop me from doing another pregnancy test this morning - negative of course. Come on period!

Good morning!

Typing this as I watch "Saturday Morning Kitchen" on BBC1, which, as i currently don't have kitchen (long story), is the self-torture equivalent of looking at the "Little White Company" section of the White Company catalogue (which incidently also arrived this morning!).

Italiangreyhound Thank you for your welcome. I have pretty much exhausted my social circles in a quest for someone else who is doing / has done IVF. I have a big group of friends down in Suffolk (where we used to live) who are a little bit older than me (originally they were DH's friends and he is about to turn 44) and quite a few of them have kids already. Had lots of chats when we were down there over Christmas (DH and I both "oversharers" so all the gang are aware of our "issues"), but no one else seems to have had the same problems. My friends up here (Yorkshire) are my group of friends from school and they are the ones who aren't even thinking about having babies yet. It's good to have somewhere where people know what I am going through

Hi Duelingfanjo! I think we maybe starting treatment at round about the same time? I will be starting injections somewhere between 8th - 15th March with EC about 2 weeks later.

Welcome Idreaminchocolate ! we're getting some fantastic names on here! Don't know how I missed your post before. You're in the right place, so pull up a chair, and I'm passing you the biscuits. Re the freaked out stuff, I think that's completely normal. Even old hands on their 4th cycle (moi) do it - I saw a ref to a survey yesterday, which found that people without children are actually happier on average than people with children. My first reaction was, huh! they obviously didn't include involuntarily childless people in the survey. But ever aince then, it's been niggling away at me, culminating in a big 'are we doing the right thing' chat this morning. Poor DH! It's probably the IF version of pre-wedding nerves!

If you'd like to have some IF buddies in the flesh, it would be worth checking out the Fertility Friends site. It's quite hard to navigate but they have boards for IVF-ers organised by clinic and by region, so you'd be able to find some local pals I'm sure.

Isle , how were the scans and tests yesterday? all set?

Idreaminchocolate - my baseline scan (I think that's what they call it?) is on 9th March so I think we'll be cycle buddies for sure. Best of luck, we can hold hands .

bumpless So many times I have had a crisis and thought 'do I really want this, whould I be happier without'. I am on the Fertility Friends site and have been in touch with a couple of people at the same clininc as me (online at least) so I can second your suggestion

Period came today after I willed it to while sitting on the loo practically shouting 'come on period' - never thought I would say that I was happy to see my period. Have taken my first contraceptive pill and feel like I am finally on my way.

Help again, please! My drugs were dropped off today, with a note to keep them in the fridge, but I'm not sure if it means to keep them ALL in the fridge, or just some of them. There are lots! There's Pregnyl, which I KNOW needs to be in there, but what do I do with the Cetrotide and Menopur? I rang a friend to ask her and realised how little I know about the whole thing when she started talking about 'downregging' - what?! Need to do a bit of research, I think, and take my head out of the sand - this is HAPPENING!

I was told to keep all mine in the fridge. I have put them in the door rather than right inside. I have Menopur and Suprecur.

Hi Kiwikat, isnt it great that all cinics have different protcols! The only one I was told to keep in the fridge was the last 'one off' drug which I kept in the door of the fridge. The buserelin (down regging)and the menopur were fine to be kept in a cool dark place so I just left under the bed in a zipped suitcase with the sharps box (we did all the injections first thing in the morning)
Down regging by the way is switiching your normal cycle off (similar to a mini menapuase)! this is so that the doctors are in control of your cycle and hormone levels so that the menopur can work its magic and help you to produce lots of lovely follicles
Hi to everyone else - Penguin how did ET go? Hope I havent missed your post.
Well I had some good news yesterday I received a letter from the clinic to say my frostie had actually survived the freezing process which somehow makes me think that the one on board should be doing well hope its not wishful thinking!
Bumpless I have been mad symptom spotting since the day after EC! I had quite a bit of cramping those first few days but then nothing else really to speak of. My tum has been a bit bloated but I think thats just a side effect of the cyclogest. I've booked thursday off work when I have to do the test just to cushion myself if its BFN as i really couldnt handle having to go in work and carry on as normal, anyway fingers crossed it wont come to that!
Cerubina the 2ww actually hasn't been as bad as I thought it would but I think it's because work is so busy at the moment, dont get me wrong it is dragging and I am tempted to do an early test but I know that would be really silly so just have to keep being patient! Actually had a nice day yesterday we took the dog for a walk (nothing strenuous) as it was a beautiful day and last night we were invited to SIL's for dinner which was lovely and I got to see my adorable neice and nephew, makes me realise its so worth what we are putting ourselves through to get the end result!!!
Welome to Idreaminchocolate I read this site for months before actually posting and it really is great to get things off your chest, ask advice and to generally chat to like minded people. Theres only so much you can talk about to DH and anyone else you have told without you sounding like your a totally obsessed nut! Which we all are arent we !!!
Waves to everyone else

Hi Bumpless, thanks for the biccies - you've got me figured out already, pass me a plate of jammie dodgers and I'm happy! Don't even get me started on the whole "are we doing the right thing" thing (this also features on my aforementioned "list of worries"), but I think you're right - it is just "pre-IVF" worries and if this is your 4th go you know you're doing the right thing. I was annoyed at work the other day when I overheard a colleague (who has her own children) saying about someone she had seen in the press having losts of fertility treatment "Why don't they just adopt, there are plenty of children out there with no parents". That made me a little bit mad, despite this also being on my list. I think people should keep all these opninons and surveys to themselves!!

Duelingfanjo congratulations on your period!! I know it's an odd thing to congratulate, but sod it - it's a milestone and we need all the +ve milestones we can get!! I think we are on different protocols by the sound of it (are you doing the long one?) but that we might converge w/c 8th March. Is the baseline scan they do on the 1st day of your cycle when you start the daily Gonal-F and Buserelin injections? They don't seem to call it a "baseline" scan at my clinic (I have searched the leaflet they have given me and it just calls all scans "ultrasound scans"). I have my "Day 21" appointment on 15th Feb, so hopefully I should know a little more about what's going on then.

I'm going to check out "Fertility Friends" later - thanks for the tip Duelingfanjo and Bumpless. Kiwikat - Hi! You're not alone in needing to take one's head out of the sand! I went through a stage where I had no idea about what was going to happen because everytime I picked up the leaftlet I had been given by the clinic or started looking on the internet I completely freaked out. I have to say though, since I actually managed to read and understand some stuff I feel so much better and more in control. Good luck!! (Didn't know you had to keep drugs in the fridge though - better go and clean the fridge.... )

Hi Rosiebeagle, you've posted while I was typing my post! Glad I'm not alone in cyber-stalker-ish behaviour! I have been reading your progress and really have my fingers crossed for you. My poor DH has been working bonkers hours lately so we only get to see each other properly for about and hour in the evening and an hour in the morning and I think he thinks I have no other topics of conversation! I have been trying to dial it back a bit as I don't want him to actually know that he has a completely neurotic, baby obsessed, hormonal lunatic as a wife (despite what he may already suspect) .

Hi

Would it be ok if I joined this thread, I am 40 and will be starting my first cycle of IVF this month. I have one daughter of 4 years but it took 2 years to get her and 2 miscarriages along the way.

I will look to read as much of this thread as I can but would just like some support.

Thanks Rosie, that's good to know. We have a really small fridge and it's ridiculously cold in there - am scared the drugs will freeze!

hey there Idreaminchocolate I am doing the short protocol but it's ages away because they could only fit me in at the end of March. I've had a bit of a struggle gettng the IVF on the NHS and am only having it because I won an appeal with the health commission. The problem is they say I must have it before my birthday on 4th April. They decided to put me on the pill rather than give me the nasal spray. I've been told to take the pill until 4th March then have a scan 5 days later and then start the injections. They have given me Menopur and Suprecur.

Good luck Rosiebeagle

Welcome madame

Hope it goes well, Dueling. What a great birthday present that would be!

Can I ask, when I saw the nurse last week she mentioned that in view of my previous miscarriages I should discuss with the consultant about having aspirin and perhaps prednisalone to possibly help/prevent another. Any thoughts....

Welcome Madame.

Rosiebeagle well done on your frostie making it. It is amazing what they can tell.

I've had my doubts about the whole donor egg thing over the months. I guess at some point you just say well it is happening and then you start to get excited.

I am excited now and even my boobs have stopped being painful!

Waves to all.