Thinking about TTC again - need some advice please!

[JustShaggy]

Hi all,

I had a miscarriage in June - am age 38 - and we stopped TTC because Dr wanted me tested for rubella immunity, up to date smear tests etc etc, and asked me to wait. Test results take AGES to set up and come back.

I have an appointment on Thurs next week to get a fibroid assessed because Dr wanted it done and it took that long to get set up. Was told at EPU at time of my miscarriage that fibroids were nothing to worry about.(?) Everything has been dragged out by these appointments ad I've now had enough.

I also want to fly to South Africa for Chrsitmas to meet up with my family, and also desperately need to be there for work purposes so two solid reasons to go. Tickets are booked and paid for to leave a few days before Christmas.

I will probably ovulate this weekend. I don't know if I should ignore next week's fibroid appointment and just 'go for it'... but then.... nor do I know implications for flying while pregnant...... first trimester.

If I skip this month to wait for fibroid appointment would next month be ok for TTC - which mean I would be even earlier in pregnancy.

Dr doesn't want me to fly to Africa at all during pregnancy - was trying to scare me about health care etc... But since women get pregnnat and give birth all the time I think this is a bit OTT.

I just don't know where I can get reasoned advice to make a sensible decision based on a rational assessment of risk. Wish I could speak to an obstetrician but no chance.....

Obviously, the biggest thing going on in my head is my age and potential impact of further delays in TTC and I seem to be the only person worried about this, which is why I am concerned like NOW. And obviously all of this assumes I will get pregnant... when I probably won't!

Would really appreciate some advice.

bump

I am not for a minute would venture any medical advise for you, but I can relate a little bit to your frustrations. I'm 37 and pregnant for the first time. I've had some hard times with the doctors especially in the first trimester. My best advise is ask for second opinion, change doctors (or as in my case the surgeries all together) and if this is difficult - go private. In the end of the day money are not as important as peace of mind.

Second piece of advice would be that all this stress will not help you to conceive. Take charge make your own decisions and stand by them. It will give you sense of control and release some of that stress.

As for flying we have taken our vacation in week 9 - 10 of the pregnancy with two 11 hours flights and lots of driving in between, after miscariage scare in week 7 and 8. Was is darring or stupid, I don't know, but we are not in week 38 and looking forward to new arrival and could not be happier with the decisions that we have made along the way.

We have made our own decisions and have prepared to take responsibilty for them. We were lucky and it paid off.

Thanks for the comments @howaboutthis. You make sense.

I'm going backwards and forwards about whether we should TTC now - this weekend - or next month. Dreading the argument with dr who put the fear of everything into me when I wanted to go to South Africa in my last (failed) pregnancy.

Driving myself crazy.

And every now and then I get a reality check that odds of conceiving just like that are probably not going to happen so quickly anyway so.....

Oh well...

Depends on where your fibroids are, I think.

I have one giant, massive fibroid (13cm!) but because it's on the outside of my uterus it doesn't have any bearing on conceiving. From what I've read on the subject, which is a lot, I think the perceived wisdom is that fibroids inside the uterus can prevent conception/possibly cause miscarriage, as they take up room on the lining of the uterus so any fertilised egg has a hard job of implanting, or because they are fed by the major arteries going to the womb they can direct blood supply away from the foetus and therefore cause miscarriage that way.

I chose to go ahead an conceive a child despite what my consultant recommended, because I'd done so much reading around the subject and decided for myself that the risks of having a procedure to remove my fibroid outweighed the risk of carrying a child with fibroid intact.

There are a couple of quite useful fibroid forums, v. American but v. busy too. Will try to look them up if it would help?